Teeth, Tartar And Teefus Playing Tag

I love nice teeth and a nice smile, so I was shocked. Heck, I was knocked off my feet to find out that cities are actually rated according to best teefus. LOLOLOL

Thank goodness, I'm not the only one who pays attention to teeth.

The top 5 best cities for teeth are Bridgeport, Conn., Boston, Bethesda, Md., San Francisco and New York. The worst cities are Biloxi, Miss., Huntington, W.Va., Mobile, Ala., Tulsa Okla. and Baton Rouge, La.

I looked at the extended list and couldn't find my hometown -- Cleveland. It wasn't on the best or worst list so I guess Clevelanders fall somewhere in between.

But I kinda find it, NO I do find it a total turn off to look into someone's mouth and their teeth are playing hide-and-seek and/or tag.

I love, ooooweee, I love bright, white, pretty smiles. But the worst is when someone has tartar built up in those crevices.

And I don't know what the deal is with people who are missing a tooth or teeth on the side and they have big, bold smiles to show it all.

Umm, I wonder would people think I was insane if I started passing out fliers that said, "If you are missing a tooth on the side, smile with your mouth closed." LOLOLOL

When I see a person with not-so-nice teefus, usually the kind that are tartar-filled, I can't help but think yuck mouth. That kiss is nasty asty. Ugg.

I got another confirmation recently that I wasn't alone in the inspection of teeth.

One of my friends e-mailed me to tell me that he hates to have a nice conversation with a girl and everything seems to be vibing, but then she smiles and all hecky poo breaks lose.

His words exactly: "Now, and I may be the only one, but it is an immediate turnoff to be talking to an attractive woman and she smiles and has teeth going every whicha (yes, I know it's not a real word) way. Or her teeth are more shades of grey than the Cleveland sky on a rainy day."

But just like arms and feet and boobs and butts, not everybody is into teeth, so I guess there are people who don't really care about the state of their prospective lover's mouth.

Do you care about your mate's teeth? Can teeth be a deal breaker when talking to a person? Or are teeth something that can be fixed so they don't bother you?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

And if you want to see the list of the worst teeth click here.

I Sexually Love You

"Finding out somone else's needs and your own, and how to express them in bed, is not only interesting and educative, but rewarding, and what sexual love is all about."

This is a quote from the "The Joy of Sex."

Hmmmm, I wish I had seen this quote before I went to a bachelorette party last week.

At the party, there was a woman who was engaged who showed her displeasure for pleasing her fiance.

She was carrying a picket sign that read, "NO, I won't blow. No, blow jobs here. You can't get blow jobs here."

I found it very interesting in an environment where women were acting like horndogs and being open about their sexual experiences, that this particular peson shared that she does not like oral sex and it's nasty.

But even more than what came out of her mouth, her disgust showed on her face. Her face looked like she had sucked a lemon, nah two. Just ugly and she was extremely attractive.

"I'll kiss around it but I won't really kiss it," she says.

I'm the type of person who clowns at parties but this particular night I was super tired. I had a long week and my energy level was low.

The young woman who continued being very open about her disgust with oral sex says, "This topic is off limits in my relationship. We do not discuss it."

Hmmmm.

I had no energy but there was something bubbling on the inside so I find the words.

"Sweetheart, if you love him why wouldn't you want to please him," I say.

"I do but I just don't do that," she responds.

"He does it to me," she adds.

What the fudge? I wanna jump up outta my seat and say you are a selfish beeeeaaatch, but instead I stay composed.

"But if he has said that he wants it and you are kissing around it ummm that probably isn't pleasing him," I say.

I'm a bit self conscious because I don't want to seem like I'm the authority on BJs and I won a pageant and have been crowned Ms. Fellatio. But I do think that a lot of women struggle with what men call being a woman in the street and a freak in the bedroom.

She doesn't respond, so I interject something I've read. I can't bare to see a marriage fail -- for any reason. Heck maybe this advice will help.

I grab my NO DIVORCE Superhero cape and begin talking again.

"Most men see their DIs as an extension of them. They want it to be touched and kissed just like they want to be touched and kissed," I say. "So don't be soooo disgusted baby. Be open minded."

I fling my NO DIVORCE cape behind me. LOLOLOL

As we walk out, she says, "I'm going to try it."

So the NO DIVORCE Superhero has won another battle.

Seriously, in my mind, bangin' ooooweeee ah huh ah huh sex is not a question of did you cum?

It's the where do you liked to be touched? What really turns you on? It's communication for a woman. The brain is powerful, whew the brain is powerful.

For a man, I can't speak on it fo sho fo sho, but I think it's a mix of what women like and a no-holds bar approach. Ummm, freakiness. And this involves a lot of BJs.

And the MARRIAGE bedroom, yep marriage bedroom yall, everything is sacred so it's supposed to be some good stuff going on.

But could you be in a relationship with a person who was not open to pleasing you sexually? Have you ever shared a fantasy with a significant other and they look at you like you are a fool? What do you think is the key to sexual love and sexual pleasure? Is it open-mindedness?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Ladies, Being Nice Can Get You Wedding Ring

Nice is one of my short list must-haves, so I was shocked when I read that nice is the No. 1 reason that men pick women to be their wives.

Hmmmm, nice. Is that really it?

Rachel Greenwald, the author of "Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date," and bestseller author of "Find A Husband After 35," interviewed hundreds of men and found NICE to be the No. 1 deciding factor on his list.

Greenwald said the men recalled moments when their wives were nice, kind, thoughtful or considerate.

I can see a woman with a stank attitude not really being a good choice. Yea, I can see that. Who really wants to be around someone who is funky or mean?

Heck, who wants to be around a mean guy.

But I have to say that when I jetted back onto the dating scene, one of the most popular questions asked of me was "Can you cook?"

And cooking is important because the old adage says, "The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach."

But back to nice.

It would seem that falling in love or even loving a nice person would be easy.

After all, people usually fall in love based on how they feel with a person.

But because nice just didn’t seem to be enough, I had to dig deeper.

And because my logic leads me to believe that a man has be in love to get married or to ask for a woman's hand in marriage I seek out information about falling in love.

I found out that there are three factors involved when a person falls in love. Smell, love pheromones and the brain.

Smell, ummm, that one is a bit self explanatory. It's that scent that just causes heads to turn or that nice scent that makes you wanna bury your head and just sniffy sniff.

Love pheromones are invisible signals. They are unsmellable but these signals enter the brain and it's over. You have fallen and can't get up.

But then the smell can be right so right and the love pheromones can be flying but then the brain and its chemicals have to be right.

So when old folks told you that being in love was all in your head, they were right. It is.

And you know the song, "I can't make you love me."

Well, turns out it's really true. If someone isn't in love with you, he or she just is not.

It might be that the smell is off or the pheromones aren't flying or the brain chemicals are no longer producing that good feeling.

And they just don't love you.

Oh, and did you know that the brain of a person in love looks like the brain of an addict? Yes, an addict!

They just gotta have it. They just gotta have you, so it's no guessing.

One of the things about love is you can feel it. Sooooo, if you are guessing well, well, well -- no matter how good you smell -- it's not love.

Do you think you can feel love? What makes a person not be sure that someone loves them? Does nice seem to be too basic for causing a man to fall in love? What causes people to fall in love?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Can't Read, Can't Write, Can't Date

I'm not the sharpest pencil in the pack, but I'm not the dullest either.

I consider myself fairly intelligent with book knowledge and common sense. I wasn't the kid in school who didn't have to study to get a good grade. I had to study, yep, I had to study.

And if I didn't study, well, let's just say that there would be consequences and repercussions from my father who told me that education was the key to success.

He meant success in life, but I don't think my father ever meant that it would help me not make a fool of myself by misusing words and ummm, just knowing how to read.

And even help while dating.

I had a friend tell me that he took a beautiful girl out for dinner and she couldn't read. She looked at the menu and saw Chicken Cordon Bleu and said I'll take the blue sandwich.

What the fudge?

Immediate dismissal. Spontaneous combustion. Response to stimuli. It would be over with the quickest of quickness.

I'm outta here. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. LOLOLOL

He told me he and his friend, because they were on a double date, just laughed and cracked on the beautiful girl all evening.

I'm sorry. That's an instantaneous turn offy off.

Another big ole turn off for me is talking with a person who all of sudden uses a word that doesn't fit in the sentence.

And conversate is a word that bothers me, but I think black folks are intent on getting it included as a verb in the dictionary even though the proper word is converse.

Any who.

I work with words all day and there are times that I may have to check myself before I wreck myself. A spelling here and there may get me.

Heck, I still mess up peek and peak in headlines and sentences.

But I'm talking about some jive A$& turkey acting like he is saying something when he is not saying anything at all. Something like, "Your beauty bewilders my investment," or "I'm showing my gratification for you."

Umm, excuse me but you are not Don King. LOLOLOLOLOL

The first sentence is just ridiculous, ridiculous and sometimes that is how some people sound -- ridiculous. The second sentence should be "gratitude to" in place of "gratification for."

Fudge sounding intelligent when you really ain't. Yep, I said ain't.

Just say, I wanna show you I appreciate you. I wanna say thank you.

There's a rule in journalism and heck in life. It's the KISS rule. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

And if you stupid or talk stupidly (say that in your Obama voice), don't use words that you can't spell and for that fact pronounce.

And learn how to read. Pick up a book. Pick up a magazine. Pick up a newspaper.

Shoot, just listen to other folks but don't be the first out the gate sitting at the dinner table to say, "I'll take the Blue sandwich." LOLOLOLOL

What do you think about people misusing words? Do you correct them? How do you handle it?

Share your comments or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Gray Hair Down There

I hate gray hair. Yes, hate is a strong word but I haaaaaaate gray hair.

Well, I guess a bit of clarification is needed on the hate I feel. I hate gray hair on me.

I’ve seen women who have the youngest looking faces look very nice with beautiful gray hair. I’ve seen men with gray beards who also look very distinguished.

So on other peeps it’s OK sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen gray hair that has been frightening especially, the yellowish gray hair. Yuck. The gray patches, uggggg.

I’m trying to deal with my displeasure of seeing gray hairs pop up in my head. For now, I’m just gonna have to do what I can to get rid of them.

But the thing that has come to my surprise is gray hair also pops up in eyebrows and eyelashes and yikes down there.

Oh where oh where, oh my down there!

A recent trimming session in the mirror revealed to me that I have two gray hairs down there. Yea, that’s TMI but ... whatever.

If you are aging, your Va-ja-jay and DI will get gray hair sooner or later.

When I saw the two gray hairs, I was horrified. I pulled. I was in disbelief. I was shocked. I jumped up and then I sat back down.

What the fudge?

Ahhh, I’m not stressing. I’m at peace. Oh my, it can’t be gray hair down there.

I propped the mirror up again and looked. No, my eyes were not deceiving me.

There are two gray hairs there.

I get back up and put on my glasses and sit back down to take another look.

Two old ladies have definitely moved in.

Heck, I don’t like gray hair on my head. But what is a girl to do about gray hairs on her girlie, girl?

I ain’t ready for it. And I can’t imagine if I see a gray hair on him.

Ummm, that is not attractive. One mo gen, that is not attractive.

My mind is jumping from thought to thought. How will it look when I’m 50?

Oh my, oh my.

Do Va-ja-jays and DIs actually get covered with gray hair?

Ahhhhhh, I’m having a very difficult time dealing with the two old ladies who have moved in.

Oh, y’all gots to go. I don’t know where y’all going but y’all gotta get the heck up outta there. LOLOLOLOL

Share your comments or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Exercise Faces Similar To Sex Faces

There was a young lady working out in front of me recently who was bouncing all around. She was short and round and reminded me of a ball just bouncing around at a family picnic.

I love to work out near people who are full of energy because it helps me get in a good workout but it was just something about this girl that irritated the bazooka outta me.

And this wasn’t the first time that I was highly irritated when working out.

In my boot camp class, which includes exercises that are supposed to be done in unison, people who are offbeat, going too slow, going too fast and on the wrong leg just irritate me.

There are people who will jump in front of you during challenges in class and whew they make the absolute ugliest faces in the world. Eyes wide open, lips twisted. Yuckola!

Any who. There is a woman who makes the ugliest faces I’ve ever seen in my life.

It’s like looking at a scary movie. Or having someone wearing the Scream mask jump in front of you while you are trying to exercise. Ahhhhh!

And then there are the energy monsters.

At the beginning of working out, some people have a burst of energy. They are like the Energizer bunny on Red Bull. They start out at this crazy pace and then crash and burn.

They are moving sooooooo fast and just all over the place. Sometimes, they are moving sooooo fast that they get offbeat.

I have no idea why the thought entered my mind, but I started thinking about sex.

I think that people likely have sex the way that they work out. If they are making ugly faces while working out they are likely making ugly faces during sex. If they are offbeat while working out, they are offbeat in the bed.

And then the thought enters my mind of the offbeat fella in my class.

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to get in a groove with someone who is bursting with energy and going sooooooo fast. One would have to grab his hips and say, "slow down baby, slow damn down."

Being offbeat in the bed with someone has to be the worst. Two people going at it for no rhyme or reason. Ummm, no thanks.

And then my mind went to two people with all that energy together in bed. It would be like watching a car race that ends in a crash.

There probably aren’t many men who would turn down diggity because of an ugly expression but wowsa yowsa, I don’t know if I could continue to sleep with a person who makes one of the ugliest faces I’ve ever seen in my life.

I work out at a steady pace.

Yea, sometimes I have to get serious and may not smile as much, but wouldn’t you be freaked out if you were having sex with someone and they smiled the whole time?

Seriously, it would be like sleeping with the Joker from Batman. Just crazy.

Do you like going fast and furiously or are you a slow, let- me-get-in-the-groove type of person? Do you have a problem with ugly faces when having sex?

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Too Tired For Sex, Try This Position

Have you ever discovered that you were really tired and didn't have any energy but once you have started, things were on and poppin'?

Well, it may have everything to do with the sexual positions that you are engaging in because certain sexual positions give you energy.

By targeting certatin spots with various positions can make sex fun and healing, says Dr. Laura Berman.

The first position that offers energy is missionary with a bit of a twist or shall I say circle.

If a woman moves her pelvis in a circular motion while the DI is deeply penetrating, there can be a burst of energy.

You don't say.

Another position that restores energy flow and protects against headaches is the woman on top.

So the next time you hear, I have a headache fellas, tell your girl that you have some medicine for her.

It isn't a typical ride 'em cowgirl so I'll let the doctor explain: "Your body is leaning forward, slightly off to one side, supported by your elbow. Holding the base of his penis, you allow him to penetrate you shallowly. Move your pelvis to stimulate the internal part of your vagina."

Keep in mind, all these positions are to heal and restore energy, but wowsa yowsa. It really sounds interesting.

The third requires the woman to lie on her back with her knees pulled up to her chest. She also rests on his knees in front of her and the DI penetrates.

"The pelvis can be raised slightly on a pillow if you wish and your feet should be dangling in the air. Once again, you rotate your pelvis in whatever way feels best to stimulate the area," Berman says.

But then there are positions if the guy needs an energy boost, too.

The first one is a missionary with a little extra. And it also helps men with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

I don't know if I want to be bothered with either but for the ladies who have already settled on a boo.

"The woman lies on her side slightly with her pelvis rotated forward. The man is above her, between her legs, supporting himself with his arms and chest. He should focus on penetrating and doing what feels best, while you lie still. It may take some practice to get comfortable," Berman says.

Get another position to try to get your man's blood flowing at www.savvymiss.com.

All of these positions sound very interesting, but there is one position that isn't mentioned for restoring energy, but I sure would like to try (once I'm remarried, of course :) ) It's the wheel barrel.

What is your favorite position? Or do you have a position in mind that you would like to try? Would you try the above mentioned positions to restore energy? Or do you find that sex, in any position, puts a bounce in your step?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Sleeping In Separate Beds Is Bad

Experts say don’t go to bed angry, but what about don’t go to bed in separate rooms.

I think that sleeping in separate rooms or one person not coming to bed at night spells TROUBLE.

I may be a bit old-fashion in my mindset but I think it’s important for married folks to sleep together, if work schedules permit.

Some people get mad and just stay mad. I don’t really get this. I have never understood this type of anger.

Throughout my marriage, we had bouts of sleeping separately. Mainly, it would be that he wouldn’t come to bed.

I have to say that when we started sleeping in separate rooms and it didn’t bother me, it was clear in my mind that it was over.

Sleeping in a bed with someone and feeling like you are sleeping alone is just as bad I might add. Have you ever sat in a room with a person and felt like you were in the room alone? That’s a huge disconnect.

But I recently had a conversation with a friend who shared with me that she and her husband are now sleeping in separate rooms.

I just held the phone and listened, but I wanted to cry. My heart ached.

After listening for a while, I finally interjected and shared with her that I don’t think this is a good idea.

I don’t know why I think this, but separating from your spouse like that is just the beginning of the end. It’s opening the door for other bad behavior.

We all want to experience a closeness with another human no matter what we say. So being rejected like that by a person you have shared vows is just the ultimate rejection. Looking back, I'm sure this was one of the things that hurt the most in my marriage.

I don’t think that people realize that holding short-term grudges and displaying in- need-of-anger management behavior is unnecessary.

It opens the door for your spouse to fall in the arms of someone who is nice and understanding.

It opens the door for your spouse to give a person a second glance when they smile.

It opens the door for your spouse to connect emotionally with another or disconnect completely from you.

I don’t have all the correct answers to the married multiple-choice test. But I’m sure that sleeping in separate rooms is not a good answer.

I’m not trying to create that type of separation in my current relationship. I'm not hanging up the phone in anger. I'm not staying mad all day. I'm not going to be mean for the sake of being mean. I'm not playing with anyone's emotions. I'm not doing it. And I don't expect for it to be done to me.

I'm not a fan of the emotional rollercoaster. It’s unhealthy. It’s emotionally diminishing. It’s sad.

I’ve always felt that the love a person really has for you is displayed during adversity, during times of difficulty.

Face it. It’s easy to get along when things are wonderful and fun and exciting.

The true test is when that ugly monster called trouble rears its head. How you respond during adversity really spells out how you feel about your significant other, at least that’s what I think.

Soooo, if you get inpatient and become nasty, it says something about the love you share for that person.

If you say nasty things and hang up the phone, it says something about the love you share for that person.

If you prefer or choose to sleep in another room, it says something about the love you share for that person.

Do you get upset with your significant other and sleep in another room? How do you deal with your anger? How do you deal with trouble? Do you think the way you deal with trouble says anything about your relationship?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

I'm Going To Become A Cheerleader In Bed

I'm scared and excited about a recent turn on my relationship journey.

After dating a few good fellas, fools and clowns, I've decided that I'm going to devote my attention to just one.

I'm really more of a one-on-one type of girl anyway so concentrating on one guy is more my style. Although I have to say that dating and talking with a few guys all at once, isn't really that bad.

OK, OK, it's fun, big fun.

But he is nice, very nice. And nice is key with me. The golden rule is Be Nice To D. :)

We talk a lot and laugh even more. We have jokes about each other and even if I shared them, you wouldn't even get it. So to avoid you saying "DUD" I'll keep 'em to myself.

I like being around him and there's an ease to talking to him. I guess it's what you call a real good comfy level. But I have to say, the most charming thing about him is he listens to me. And I have discovered I need somebody who will listen to me. Listen to my fears, dreams, goals, likes, dislikes and just listen to me jack my jaws.

It's interesting how this works though.

I'm a jump-right-into-it-in-the morning type of person. I have a lot of energy. Let's talk about the party we went to last night and what was going on or what's on the agenda for the day.

One morning, I was ready to jibba jab. It was about 7 a.m. Yep, 7 in da mornin'.

He turned to me and said, "Girl, I know you are not ready to do all that talking now."

It wasn't nasty. As a matter a fact, it was hilarious. I laughed and laughed and he laughed and then I went back to sleep.

We also have good chemistry. It seems like we could be good, yep, real good for each other but although we have good chemistry, the mathematical equation that includes children, divorces, needs and wants is not near being solved just yet.

To keep from having difficulties, there have been a few requests made by each of us to build our relationship.

We have decided that each morning that we are together, we will start the day with saying, "Good Morning" and a kiss. Kiss to the back, neck, hand, shoulder, forehead, lips, whatever. It's our Good Morning, Good Day Rule.

This way, we are setting the tone for the rest of the day.

Plus because it is early in the relationship, this can become habit and routine and make for great mornings and days to follow.

No matter how much we may want things to be a certain way, it takes effort. I believe this and he does too.

I came up with the idea after we got off to a bad, cranky, negative start one morning because I kept hitting snooze on my cell phone alarm.

When I went to him with the idea afterwards, I got a little bit of resistance. Yea, he thought I was being cornballish and unnecessary.

But I wasn't.

Things can be good, but things can be great if there is effort put into building a relationship.

After a few days, it was time to put our new morning rule in practice.

Oh and the person who awakes first says, "Good Morning!" and gives the kiss.

I had been tossing and turning all night with crazy dreams, yea, I dream crazy sometimes.

After dozing off and finally getting a little bit of rest, I hear a "Good Morning!" and feel a kiss on my cheek.

I got all tingly inside. We had to get up and get going but oooooweeee I got all tingly inside because he remembered.

He remembered. He remembered.

I kinda felt a little bit like a cheerleader with poms poms, and he most definitely gets an A for effort.

Hoooray. Hip, Hip, Hoooray. LOLOLOL

I think the key to a wonderful relationship is starting off the way that you want it to be. Older women in my family have told me this.

I'm off to a good start and I'm thinking I may need to buy a cheerleading outfit to cheer on the home team. :)

Do you have anything that you would like to implement in early in a relationship to make it better? Have you implemented anything? It could be kindness, chores, anything.

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong.com.

What Does Your Cleavage Say About You?

Boobs falling out of shirts and big bellies showing, oh my.

While at a concert recently, I did a lot of people watching. Yea, I enjoyed the concert but part of the festivities was definitely seeing all the people in their get ups.

Some people were dressed in a style that I consider cute. Yep, I would rock that. Others were dressed OK. I might think about wearing it. But then others were dressed ridiculously.

Plunging necklines and bellies showing and ummm the bellies were NOT flat. As a matter of fact, I saw one lady, heck, I saw a lot of ladies with belly bellies, yep one belly ain't good enough.

I also saw a lot of women wearing short, shorts.

Hey, I love short, shorts, but when I gained weight and my legs weren’t sooo smooth, I became a member of Don’t Wear Dukes No Mo No Mo Club cause my legs were not nice and smooth.

So it’s OK to wear shorts that are mid-thigh. Those are cute too.

And then I saw ladies with thighs that were rubbing together and I was thinking they were going to start a fire at any moment because of the friction. You know what I’m talking about. The thighs have rub-a-dubbed soooo much that they are darker.

Ummm, attention, attention if your thighs rub don’t wear short stuff because pullin’ and tuggin’ and pullin’, let’s just say it is not attractive.

When I see it, I just look but I really wanted to shake my head in disgust.

One thing I have to say, however, is going out to an event and seeing folks with bulging bellies and dimples galore makes me feel good, real good about meeez body.

I'm not saying I'm without any wardrobe mistakes, but I call my style classy, sexy. It’s a mix of conservative and provocative. Sometimes I show a lil bit of cleavage and all the time I wear tight jeans. I don’t want to show off too much, but I’m not leaving everything to the imagination either. I also love heels, high heels.

I tease one of my gfs about wearing studs and rhinestones all the time. She is often what I call "bedazzled." She loves to shine and glitter. As a matter of fact, you best believe that she is going to have on something that will capture the light. This is her style. It's cute.

And then there’s a style that another one of my gfs has that’s more like a sophisticated, lady style. She doesn’t wear stiletto heels. They are usually lower and her clothing is usually more flowing. She shows cleavage but usually doesn’t wear anything too form-fitting. She is always very sophisticated.

I scanned my circle of friends looking for a hoochie mama. I scanned again and was unable to come up with one.

And maybe that’s why I always shake my head when I see people showing waaaaaaaay tooo much when they shouldn’t.

I’m sorry.

When your stomach is not flat, you should not wear anything that shows your stomach. When your bootie is full of dimple, you should not wear form-fitting stuff and if you do, wear something to smooth out the bumps. There’s nothing wrong with showing cleavage but boobs should not be about to fall out if a wrong move is made.

And then the shoes. I mention my gf who wears shorter heels because it’s a fact -- not everybody can walk in heels.

Whenever you are hoofin' along like an elephant, you can not wear heels.

If you are bent over, you can not wear heels.

There is a gracefulness to walking in heels. It’s not a stomping. It’s a glide. It’s elegant. It’s smooth.

If you are hunched over, you cannot walk in heels – period.

And if your toes are hangin' out the front of the sandals grabbin' the pavement, please get a half of a size up. Your toes should not play tag with the ground. LOLOLOL

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Every Couple Has Had Or Needs Counseling

I'm not ashamed to say that I have seen a therapist.

And I would go as far to say that every person that has been married, thinking about being married or can't find anybody to marry should see a therapist. :)

Seriously, I don't think there is a married couple for as far as the eyes can see that can say that they haven't sought some type of counseling because marriage is hard.

I debated on the word "hard" for a while because I said well my marriage didn't work so I can't speak for the other 50 percent of Americans whose marriages last. But nah. I can say it. I can say it and feel strongly.

Marriage is hard. Relationships are hard.

Marriage and relationships are hard because it takes work. Nothing about it is easy. It's like building a house.

Some people build shacks. They put in minimal work and get a minimal house.

Some people build nice homes. They put in a lot of work and get a decent home.

Some people build beautiful homes. They put in enormous work and end up with a luxurious home.

In each case, the couple is finding and using the necessary skills and tools to build the relationship -- to build the home to make it the best it can be.

Also in each case, there becomes crucial times when the couple needs help to move to the next level. Shack builders can improve and get a beautiful home. And beautiful homes can turn into luxurious home. After all, you only get out what you put into it.

Ummm, you can't build a beautiful home with straw.

I'm not sure why people think seeing a therapist is a bad thing. It's not. At least not to me.

As a matter of fact, I think seeing a therapist speaks volumes about a person knowing that they don't have all the answers and that they don't know it all.

It's really just like a trip to the home building or building relationship store and going to the salesperson and saying "I need some help on how to fix this. I need some help on how to make this better." And I've heard it's here.

What do you think about seeing a therpist? Have you ever seen one? Would you see a therapist to save your relationship?

Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com

Do You Taste, Smell Yourself?

"She always wants me to go down on her and she’s not really fresh," my friend says.

Wowsa Yowsa. Ummm, wowsa yowsa.

When my guy friend said this to me about a girl he dated, my mouth was wide open. I mean really. I was shocked.

I was shocked that the scent of her Va-ja-jay was offensive to him, but I was also shocked that he actually was sooooo candid. Whew!

"And I really like to eat P@$$!," he says.

Well umm, ummmm, you are really telling me yo business, sir.

He then says that maybe it was because she was a bigger girl and he wasn’t sure if that made her smell.

I immediately try to squash that thought.

"I don’t think it has anything to do with her weight. It may just be that she has some sort of infection," I say.

Clearly, I have no idea and I'm not sure but one's body chemistry likely contributes to different smelling Va-ja-jays. I mean all of them don't look alike I have learned so they all can't smell alike. Read Va-ja-jays Can Be Ugly.

I go into several explanations of what may be the problem.

I’m no doctor, but women can get infections after not taking the proper care of her Va-ja-jay.

This includes wiping from back to front. Yikes, an infection fo sho, fo sho.

Wearing wet undies provides a moist environment for bacteria to go wacko crazy.

That’s why it’s very important to get a shower after working out or at least take off those wet panties.

Tight jeans for some women smothers the Va-ja-jay and she gets sick.

And those smell good body washes will set a girl’s Va-ja-jay on fire.

Body wash is to be used after a gentle soap has been used to clean the body.

I use Ivory, period.

I used Irish Spring or Coast or Dial or something and I will neva eva neva eva again. And those hotel soaps, nope, notta. Ivory, Ivory, Ivory, Ivory.

But a lot of women don’t realize that all that smell good soap or body wash is not good and should never be put down there.

I mean really -- down there is one of the most sensitive parts of a woman’s body.

The body wash is to be used after the body is clean. Rub a dub on and rinse off. It is just to give a nice scent. And nope Va-ja-jays cannot smell like pear.

And also douching is not good for a vagina’s natural PH balance and things can go crazy too.

Any who.

There is a lot of maintenance that needs to take place to make sure that a Va-ja-jay is clean, healthy and fresh as possible.

But I got some of the most interesting information from my gf a few years ago. She said it is important to taste yourself.

What! What! What!

Yep, take a finger sniff, sniff and taste because if it is unpleasant for you, ummm, it will be unpleasant for him.

And don’t go to the sex store and buy the powder or gels or stuff to put on your Va-ja-jay to taste better.

Annnnnt!

That’s like trying to season a pot of scorched veggies. All the seasoning in the world wouldn’t hide the burn taste.

Although I have heard that if a guy eats pineapple, he doesn't taste as salty. Yep, the taste of your sexual juices are determined by what you eat.

For many, asparagus is delish going down, but it is not delish when coming out. Nah, I didn't make it up. Read it for yourself. There is even a make your cum taste better smoothie.

Share your comments or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong.com. And please if you think your Va-ja-jay is a bit funky, go see a doctor.

Happy Relationships!

My Hairstylist Knows A Lot Of My Business

I ran into a former hairstylist who did my hair for many years and it was great catching up.

As we sat at an area bar talking, it felt like we hadn’t skipped a day of talking. I would say it’s been about a year since we have actually talked.

At that time, I was still married so my life was much different. In our previous conversations, I’m not sure what we talked about. Probably nothing.

But our recent conversation was gooooood, real gooood, and it reminded me of the importance of a hairstylist.

Whew! They know all your business.

We started talking about me and what’s new. And wow, there is a lot that is new with me.

Ummm, everything is new.

I’m divorced.

I have been blessed with a peace I’ve never known.

I’m feeling foxy roxy cause I have been working out and I have a new body, body. Heck, I'm just excited about living, loving and laughing.

And I have a new guy in my life.

Sooooo where do I start?

She also had new stuff too. She has a new home, a fairly recent addition to her family and a happy marriage.

Our conversation topics jumped from one thing to the next so quickly that it really reminded me of when I used to sit in her chair for my weekly hair do and therapy session.

And yea, it was therapy.

On my drive home, I thought about the comfort in which I felt sharing the new details of my new life. I thought about how much she really knew about it me, and whew it blew my mind.

She knows a lot.

Any who.

She did my hair for several years before I was married. She did my hair for me on my wedding day. She did my hair a few years into my marriage. I’m not sure when she stopped doing my hair actually.

While driving, I kept thinking that there has never been anyone else who has done my hair who I have confided in as much as her. Yea, I chop it up a bit but this girl knows some stuff, whew, she knows some stuff about my relationships.

At a women's ministry meeting at my church, a female pastor talked about what intimacy truly means. The pastor said intimacy is when you share without holding back because you do not worry about being judge. You are open and honest and you have no problem revealing your self to another. She said it is Into-Me-See.

And it's really true.

Does your hairstylist or barber know a lot about you and your relationship? Do you consider them a therapist? Do you consider them a friend? Do you confide in him or her? Do you have that same comfortability with your spouse or significant other?

Share your comments or e-mail me choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

He Thinks I'm A Makeup Monster

I recently put on my makeup on the way to an event in the vehicle of the guy I'm dating.

Dab, dab, rub-a-dub dub. Foundation and powder on. Check.

Brushy, brushy, brush. Mascara. Check.

And a one and a two. Lip gloss. Check.

"You don't need all that," I hear.

I'm lookin' straight in front of me, like I'm driving.

I have not turned my head, but I am glarin' at him through the left corners of my eyes.

"You right. I like it though, so shut yo mouf," I respond and smile with my glossified lips.

Suddenly, he becomes the makeup inspector. "You didn't even rub it in good. I can see the line," he says.

"Boi, if you don't stop we gonna have a case of busted lippy lips up in this truck," I respond.

I fix it and then he continues jackin' his jaws.

"You really don't need all that and I don't like it when all that mess gets on my shirt, especially when women hug me and I have on a nice shirt at church," he says.

For a second, I thought about tuning him out and I was playing the telephone hold music in my mind. It's a tune called yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, ya to the beat of the rap song youda, youda best, youda, youda best, best I eva had.

But then the angel on my right shoulder says hear him out, at least hear him out, D.

I respond, "Well, it's not like I think I need it. I just like the way it gives me a finished, ready-for-the-world look."

"You mean that dry look," he says.

What! What! What! What! What!

Dry look, dry look, I'm thinking.

"Boi, no you didn't say dry look," I snap back, but I can't even be mad at him so I actually laugh.

The way men and women think are soooooo danggone different that it tickles me.

Clearly, I do not think my makeup makes me look dry. Ummmm dry is not good.

"You really just need that eyescara and lip gloss," he says.

Just at the moment, I could not contain my laughter.

Eye-scara, nah, not eye-scara.

I hollered with laughter, "Eye-scara."

Tears were rollin' down my face, "Did you really just say eye-scara?" I ask through my laughter.

But then I think that may have been a Freudian slip. He may think I'm a makeup monster. Eye + Mascara + Monster = Eyescara

He might really think that my lil dab a dab and rub a dub and brushy, brush is toooooo much.

I'm not sure about not wearing anything on my face, but I may think about wearing a lil less, perhaps a bronzer instead of foundation. And oh yea, lip gloss and eye-scara. LOLOLOL

What are your thoughts about makeup? Do you like it or not? Do you hate when it gets on your clothing or does it not really bother you?

Ladies, take this quiz Do you wear too much makeup? My result was a well-balanced beauty.

And ummm, ladies don't throw your eye-scara bottles LOLOLOL at me but would you stop wearing makeup if your fella tells you he really doesn't like "all that" or "you don't need all that."

And would you tell one of your gfs that she wears too much makeup?

Share your thoughts here or e-mail me a choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

My Gray Hair And A Young Yummy 'Em

I'm not the type that would date a guy that is tooo old. I've never liked old men, you know, that father-figure type, the sugah daddy type.

But ummm, my name is Darlene and I have a thing for younger guys.

They seem not to be as jaded. They exude a fun and exciting energy. They have enthusiasm galore.

Whew! They have a swagger. And yep, I like jeans that sag just a lil bit so that may have something to do with it too.

I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I have dated someone that was waaaaaaaay too danggone young for me.

For men, the perfect age is half the man's age plus 7. I've heard this many times. I'm not sure if there is a rule for women but this guy broke the half age plus 7 rule.

And whew, I thought he was older. I did, I really did.

As a matter of fact, when he told me his age I was astonished. I was shaking my head. I was thinking he was going to say, "Nah, I am really 30." :)

Interestingly, he thought I was younger.

So yea, I stuck that father in my cap and felt really good about it.

I enjoyed talking to him. He was exciting. I loved to watch his face as he talked about his career goals. He was hella foxy, ooooweee, yes he was.

And oh yea, young men have a sexy defined crease in their backs -- at least the one's with nice bodies. Young bodies, young bodies, young bodies. There is nothing like a 20-something's body.

I'm not sure what he really saw in me, but he teased me about losing my curves when he found out I wanted to shed some poundage. So maybe he liked thicker, older women. I don't know.

We didn't have a lot in common but he was easy to talk to and I think he felt comfy talking to me.

One day, I was having a conversation with my bff. I told her about needing to get my rinse (semi-permanent dye) because my gray hairs were showing and I had plans to see the young man that evening.

She laughed at me. And I laughed at myself. And we laughed together.

But I think it was at that moment when I realized that if I'm worrying about my gray hair, he was too young.

And heck, I knew he was too young any way butt-er-uh, whew.

But I really don't like gray hair even if I'm dating a person my age. Heck, I hate gray hair. But my motto is I am what I am what I am what I am.

And because I am the age I am, my gray hairs sometime peak out and say chello.

Any who.

Every time I see news stories or TV shows that deal with the topic of cougars, older women dating younger men, I realize that I'm half woman and half cougar. LOLOLOL

What has been the youngest you have dated? What about the oldest? Do you prefer older or younger or your age?

Share your comments here or email me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com

Are You A Happy, Horny Drunk?

When I was growing up, I remember my mother always saying that my dad was a nice drunk.

My mother didn't drink at all so she thought any type of drinking made a person a drunk. It wasn't her being mean but she didn't drink and never could wrap her mind around why people did it.

Any who. I'm not like my mom.

I indulge and may have one too many from time to time. But I believe it is at that time when a person's true colors come out. During my marriage, Vodka became the trufe juice for me. Anything that was bothering me before I took a sippy sip would of course bother me after the sippy sip.

Makes sense, right?

Sometimes my unhappiness before taking a sippy sip would cause me to grow angry and sometimes sad. Yep, I've been one of those pitiful, crying drunks before.

I remember sobbing after my 30th birthday. I was growing older, not really at a happy place and therefore the cocktails caused crying. Looking back it was really ridiculously sad. One of my gf's stayed all night with me to console me.

But what I'm learning is that there are all types of drunks: crying, horny, happy, helpful, obnoxious, sleepy, laughing, nice and angry.

You know a crying drunk. They cry and cry and cry. Nah, they sob and sob and sob and you have had a drink so sometimes you may cry or sit there and really grow perplexed about the tears.

A nice drunk is soooo sweet. He or she promises things. They profess their love. They hug family members and friends.

The horny drunk is the person who is ready to rock steady. A single horny drunk is like an animal on the hunt. He or she is flirting and flirting and ready to take someone home. Heck anyone home. They may end up going home alone but it's not because they didn't give it the old college try. A horndog drunk that is in a relationship is ready to have sex in the car on the way home.

A happy drunk is cracking jokes and is the center of attention.

A helpful drunk is cleaning up the kitchen or helping anyone who may need it. Getting drinks and food and just being overall helpful.

And obnoxious drunk is the one who just irritates. They may pretend to be more intoxicated than they actually are. They may say stupid stuff. They are just irritating.

Then there's the sleepy drunk. Nah, it's not the POD (passed out drunk) drunk. It's the whew I'm tipsy so now I must go to sleep. By the way, this is a natural response to a depressant because alcohol is a depressant.

But then the flip side is the giggling, laughing drunk. You hear a chuckle everytime someone says something. This is borderline irritating too, but you can't get mad at someone who is laughing. LOLOLOLOL

And then there is the angry, fighting drunk. Whew! We all like to steer clear of this kind of drunk. They will argue with you. Heck, they will knock your teefus out yo mouth. The juice makes the already boiling anger boil over and folks are left thinking Yikes! A good time was being had by all and then....danggone.

Recently I had too many. But I am glad to know that I'm not an angry drunk. As a matter of fact, I'm a happy, laughing, horny drunk.

What type of drunk are you or have you been? Did I leave out a drunk type? If so, describe that drunk.

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Vibrating Sex On Top Of The Washing Machine

One of the most interesting questions I think can be asked while dating is -- Where is the most unusual place that you have had sex?

This definitely provides a snapshot into whether a person is a dud spud or willy willy wild child.

It also gives an idea of a person’s sexual appetite. But sometimes maybe a person hasn’t found a person that has made them feel comfy and free enough to just let it all hang out.

I used to go to a hairstylist who said sometimes you can meet a person who can have you wide open and you will try things that you never even thought you would do and yep, she’s right.

Soooo another interesting question is where would you like to have sex? What is your sexual fantasy?

But get ready for the answer cause it may just flip your wig or weave.

I asked this question and got “under a waterfall or in the rain.”

Well ahright, ahright, ahright, ahright.

But ummm will in the shower do? LOLOLOL

Seriously, people have all sort of sexual desires and fantasize about sex in many unusual places.

So after hearing about a waterfall, which really sounds romantic to me, I got to wondering about other places. And I discovered a list of some really fun, did I write that :), and interesting places.

Here’s a snippet of a list that has categories such as great outdoors, at home, show your athletic side, only daredevils do it in public and enjoy nature a whole new way.

On a porch swing. Whew, swing a linga ling.

On the grass with no blanket.

This, I’m sorry, does not sound fun to me. Grass stains and allergies galore. Scratch, scratch, itch, itch.

Under a sprinkler in your yard. Hmmmm.

On a soft rug in front of a fireplace. Nice!

In the garage.

What? So forget about making it into the house. Get outta your car and just bang, bang, bang, bang.

In the weight room at the gym. Wowsa Yowsa. I may not ever look at a weight bench the same.

In a deserted area of a zoo. The list makers say, "Get wild like the animals." And we really are animals.

Under bleachers during a sporting event. This sounds a bit teenage-like. Young and free.

On the hood of your car on a deserted gravel road. Hmmmm. But why does the road have to be gravel?

Interestingly, under a waterfall is listed tooo.

So do you think the places you have had sex or want to have sex says something about your sexual appetite? What’s the craziest place you have had sex or want to have sex? Mine is on top of a washing machine.

Share your comments with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com

Happy Relationships!

6 Months And Married

Hmmmm. How long does it really take to figure out if you want to be with a person?

And not just be with, but with as in marry.

Yea, the answer is different for every couple, but what do men and women mean when they say, I knew she was the one. I knew he was the one.

Do they look across the room and zero in and say bingo. Youda, youda, one, youda, youda, one ...

I recently heard a conversation about how long it takes for a man to propose. This guy said it took less than a year for him to know so he proposed.

This isn't too far-fecthed because my bff’s parents were married in six months.

Yep, married, not engaged, married.

Wow.

He saw. He went. He conquered.

This seems a bit fast to me, but who am I.

Plus, as I reflect on my childhood, I remember seeing them together and they were a picture of love in my eyes. I say were because my bff’s father is deceased.

But when should women say, hey either piss or get off da danggone pot, partner?!

At my current age, and nope, not gonna tell ya, I think about a year is about long enough to figure out if you wanna be bothered. LOLOLOL. I mean be together foeva, foeva with your boo.

In a year, you know if those quirks or obnoxious behaviors will drive you bizzonkers or if you can deal.

But marriage is serious business. Whew, it is business. It’s for grown folks.

Marriage is not for the immature. As a matter of fact, signs should be posted that say:

Move Forward With Caution

Yield When Arguing Starts

Be Quiet!

Do Not Take Him/Her For Granted

Take Time To Talk

Love And Then Love Some More

Don’t Be So Quick To Criticize

Any who. Back to courting.

I have found a list of questions that should be asked before a proposal and subsequent marriage. And heck, they are good, real gooooood.

According to 100 Questions Before Marriage Blog, the following questions should be asked:

Out of all of life, what is tops on your list for being important factors?
What is being happy all about in your mind?

What three words would you use to describe who you are as a person?

Which has a higher value in your mind, relationships with people or monetary gain?

If you were to paint a picture of the world what colors would you use? Why?

Financially speaking, what are your goals for the present and the future?

Yea, the questions may sound a bit quirky or even crazy, but I say this is good stuff. If you are really thinking about spending the rest of your life with a person, it should be an intense interviewing process involved.

Nah, you don’t have to ask all the questions in one day, but asking one or two here and there may just be a good idea.

Interestingly, I don’t think that it’s really possible to 100 percent know a person. I would say more like 75 percent. And this is why people end up surprising their spouses and significant others with stuff about their past and things that they have done or want to do.

No matter what we think about ourselves, we are not 100-percent transparent.

Sooooo, how much do you think you know your spouse or significant other? Give a percentage. How long does it really take to get to know a person well enough to determine if you want a future with him or her? What do you think about the questions that should be asked before marriage?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

I'll Pass On Six-Pack Abs And Big, Bulgin' Biceps

There are some things that just make me feel a little bit suspicious, uneasy, inquisitive or uncomfortable. I'm not quite sure what offers the best description for the feeling because it is sometimes to me a bit indescribable.

It's when I look at a photo of a guy shirtless online or see a guy with an extrordinary physique.

I really don't know how to put my finger on it. Not the body. I know how to do that, but the way I feel.

I guess I liken the feeling to looking at a Playgirl magazine.

Yea, I'll look. My eyes are big, big, big with supa dupa vision powers turned on. But I have discovered that when I look at a photo of a guy shirtless with bulgin' muscles and biceps gippy gippy galore, it just does something to me.

I'm left thinking why. In fact, sometimes I'm saying to myself uggg, no he didn't.

Although I have tried to pinpoint the feeling that comes over me when I look at strong backs, chiseled abs and bustin' outta da danggone shirt biceps, I can't.

One second, I'm ugg and then I'm thinkin' tasty, uh huh, ahright.

I may even fantasize for just a moment, heck maybe 3 minutes of touching that chiseled chest and ooooweeee those arms.

I say mmmmm, how delish.

But then I kinda go back to a shakin' my head sorta questioning-why mode.

Then I think -- a girl with a lil pudgy mudgy pudgy and flyin' in the wind chicken wing arms wouldn't stand a chance because dude is all ripped to shreds.

Clearly, his body fat is low.

Clearly, he doesn't indulge in eating chips and dip or chicken wings with celery and ranch dressing or a few cocktails.

Clearly, he doesn't have fun with food.

Heck, this fella may not even eat out at restaurants.

I mean really, how would or how could he be ripped to shreds like that, I think.

Good googly moogly, I wouldn't even be able to eat a burger around this guy without feeling hella guilty.

I mean touching the chest and the abs and the arms ooooooweeeee that sounds nice. Yea, whew, that sounds nice.

But then I get to wondering about when a guy sees a photo of a woman that is ripped to shreds with body fat of zip zero, what do they think?

Do they feel a bit uneasy like I wouldn't want to be caught dead with someone who has a body so tight?

Do they think I wouldn't be able to have a cheeseburger around chickypoo?

Or do Mr. Big Bello Belly say I would do her in a heartbeat and wouldn't even mind makin' Ms. Body Bod my woman?

Not me, I need something in the middle. I don't need Mr. Rippy Ripped or Mr. Big Bello Belly. Somewhere right in the middle is good for me. You know, someone I could have a few cocktails with, enjoy a cheeseburger with and not feel so danggone bad.

What are your thoughts? Do you want someone with a great body? Do you even care about someone's physique? Share your thoughts with me here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Honeymoon Stage Will NOT Last Forever

There are several stages to a relationship and all make a healthy, happy bond.

During recent conversations with friends, however, it seems that everyone wanted to stay in the honeymoon stage because it seemed like people thought the honeymoon was the best stage.

This conversation involved a friend who shares a lot of the same views as I do. But on this, we disagree on how long the honeymoon stage lasts. I say up to about 6 months. He says up to about a year.

After researching the stages of relationships, I discovered that Stage One is considered the Attraction and Romance Stage and it can last for a few months to a few years depending on the couple.

In this stage that many call the Honeymoon Stage, some of the characteristics include spending a lot of time together, being in love, avoiding conflict and you can’t imagine being apart from your lover.

According to Dr. Susan Campbell, author of "The Couple's Journey," there are five stages.

In stage one, everything is love.

"Romancing takes up a lot of energy with all the courting and pretensions and trying to be the same and eventually you begin to tire," she says.

Wowsa Yowsa. I like Dr. Campbell. She tells it like it I-S is.

Stage Two is when reality sets in. In this stage, the Power Struggle Stage, you see flaws in your partner and behaviors that you don’t like.

Remember, you are not going to love everything about him or her.

"There is a pulling away from each other, a need for space, a chance to breathe...all of which is quite normal."

All the wild sex has worn folks out. LOLOLO

I’m not sure if my past has anything to do with it, but I recognize flaws even when I have butterflies in my stomach. My relationship motto is: "It is what it is."

Thanks, but I’ll pass on the disillusionment in my coffee.

The experts say, "The romance stage features many endorphins running through your body that gives you that "high" sensation. Your body can’t keep this up forever, and so in this stage your elation begins to level off. You might even wonder if you are still in love."

Stage Three is the test-a-roni.

It is the Stability Stage. This is when there will be arguments, but if there is strong communication a couple will breeze through this stage without a break up or divorce.

It is then that the couple is aware of each others personal world instead of just his or her own and the difference is okay. It is finally clear you are not going to reshape your partner. Clear boundaries are determined, Campbell says.

This is when it gets real, real, real good. You’ve been through good, good, good and now it’s time to sprinkle in some of that bad. After all, you have accepted the personality flaws and the annoying behavior.

And I don’t think that people pay attention to the pastor when exchanging wedding vows when he or she says, the good and the bad. Cause ummmm, there’s gonna be bad.

I’m not being negative. I’m actually an optimist, many may even say an idealist but there is going to be bad.

My mother always told me that the bad should not outweigh the good. When it does, Houston we have a problem.

But ponder this, isn't it easy to have fun with a person? It’s easy to go through the good times. That’s a breeze.

The way a couple weathers a storm speaks volumes of the true bond and a commitment to each other.

This is when big girl panties and big boy Tims are necessary. Put em on and let's do work.

At Stage Four is when commitment sets in. It is the Commitment Stage. The fantasy stage is gone and folks have accepted the growth of the relationship. There is a true connection.

"In this stage you are wide awake, making clear choices about yourself and your partner, based both on individual differences and those things you have in common," Campbell says.

You may, however, feel a little bored at times as the chase is definitely over. You may also miss the honeymoon feelings and wonder if those feelings can be found in someone else.

Stage Five is where most couples never get to. It is the co-creation stage.

And nah, not just making babies -- co-creating a life together. This includes projects, church, business ventures and children.

This is when life is good, good, goood. This is what my parents have built over the last 50 years. And it's goood, it's gooood, it's real gooood.

If you are already married, here’s an article about the 7 Stages of Marriage

But what are your thoughts about the stages of a relationship? Is honeymoon the best or co-creation? Where are you in your relationship?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.

Do You Call When You Like A Person?

The more and more I talk to singles, I realize why it's so difficult for people to find the person of their dreams.

I understand that when a person is in their early 20s it's not as clear to him or her what is needed and wanted in or from a relationship. But I think by the time a person is in their late 20s and 30s, it should be clear, clear, clear.

In my 20s, I was looking for fun, exciting, fun and exciting. And while I still want fun and exciting, I really know so much more is needed. This also may have a bit to do with being married before.

In my 20s, I probably was a bit more embarassed or ashamed, I'm not quite sure what would be the best description, to say yes, I need this in a person and that is that.

Nowadays, I have no problem with saying what I need and what I want.

A recent conversation between friends brought up how often a person should call if they are interested in pursuing a relationship with a person that they are dating.

The discussion, which was part of relationship brunch, involved both men and women.

One of the guys, who was quite handsome, ummm yea mocha brown with a well-groomed uh huh foxy beard, said that he doesn't want or even need to talk every day to a person that he may like.

OK.

This was not the first time I had heard of such a thing.

But my feeling is if you like a person, don't you wanna find out what they are doing, ask them about their day, find out if they are OK.

Heck, don't you wanna just call to hear their voice because if you like 'em wouldn't their voice bring a smile to your face and make your heart fill with joy. I'm just sayin... if you like the person.

On the other hand, if a person is still in the I like him or her but I don't really know if I like him or her for me quite yet, then I would have to say OK. No need to call.

And if they likely don't make the person smile they are at the bottom of the like scale. In fact, they just may be the I-like-her-or-him-until-someone-I-really-like-comes-along person.

Mr. Foxy Brown Beard was quite clear that once he would call the woman, she would know that he wanted to call.

Well OK, but what sense does that make?

I continued to be engaged in the conversation and I tried to kick in the Don't Show It On Your Face mode, but I don't think I was successful.

In my mind, I kept thinking this is the importance of dating and talking and dating and talking because clearly a person who would like me and didn't call me is not for me.

The conversation went to well how much do you need a person to call you if they are interested.

Quickly, I say every day. In fact, if I like a person I will want to text several times and talk a couple times a day. Now if I don't wanna talk to you I don't like you, period. If I like you, I wanna talk to you.

But when the question was asked, a few of the women said, "Nah, I don't want to talk to a person I like every day." I, along with another woman, said, "Yes, I want to talk every day."

"It's the thrill of the chase," one woman offers as her reason for not needing to talk frequently. And then the other woman says, "I'm very busy."

Immediately, I felt in control, I felt strong, I felt confident. I always say and think, I am what I am what I am what I am and ummm, I am. :)

In my 20s, I would have thought that for me to say that I want to talk to a guy that I like every day would make me seem needy. That it would make me seem insecure. It would make me seem like I didn't have a full life.

Nah, it's just a need for me now that I'm in my 30s.

I'm not going to try to act one way when in fact I feel another. And as far as the thrill of the chase, I think people who love the thrill sooooo much will ultimately have to accept the thrill of being single eternally. And as far as being busy, if someone is tooo busy to talk for a few minutes a day, forget about it. I definitely wouldn't even want to pursue a relationship with someone who can't carve out 3 minutes to talk. What the fudge?

How often do you think a person should call if they are really interested in pursuing a relationship? Do you like to talk to the person with whom you are involved every day? Do you smile when you talk to person a person you like or love?

Share your comments here or e-mail me at choosingmrwrong@gmail.com.