Lesbian Lover Upset Over DI

There has been so much about cheating in the news lately with the revelations of Tiger Woods and Jesse James.

All of the coverage has likely caused problems in many households because of heightened paranoia.

But one of my gf offered a very interesting twist in the cheating phenomenon -- a bisexual and a lesbian relationship.

Hmmmmm

The bisexual chickypoo has from the very beeeeeginning of the relationship said she likes DI. The lesbian in the beeeeeegining agreed to the situation.

Well, well, well.

Seems the lesbian has recently started having a difficult time dealing with the bisexual chickypoo going after DI.

Remember, she agreed to it in the beeeeeginning! Lolololol

I would think a strap-on would eliminate the woes sooooo when I suggest this my gf says oh they have plenty.

Sooooooo, could you date a person knowing that you cannot fulfill their sexual needs from the beeeeeeginning? Could you date someone who is bisexual? And do you think bisexual sex is cheating?

No Hubby But I'll Take A Baby

The whole cougar craze may have more to do with women seeking good sperm than most peeps think. Unlike eggs, sperm does not have a shelf life but younger is better.

With that said, I have to share a recent conversation about having a baby. I am divorced but do not have any kids. I have not lost faith in the institution of marriage, but I am just about certain that my picture of happily ever after will look nothing like I ever imagined.

Any who.

I had a conversation with a young man who thought he was hot stuff, finger to cheek, pssssst, because older women were checking him out. Honestly, I would go younger any day of the week lolololol. But errrr uhhh, younger guys might wanna be cautious condom carriers cause older women may just want their sperm.

I was sharing the cougar conversation with a gf who said women will do anything to have a baby after 35!

An official cougar FYI is 40.

My eyes get real big and I make a dash to get my birth certificate lolololo yesssir I am over 35 but I am not one of those women who will do whateva, entrapment, slipping condoms off, lying about birth control and whatever else women do.
Oh my! I would never be able to look at a human being the rest of my life and know that I was sooooo manipulative and calculated.


Do you think women do this? Do they give up on a hubby and say I just want a baby?

Yep, Sex OK On First Date!

I remember a guy telling me that he did not have any problems with a woman having sex on the first date.

Hmmmm. But could he get serious with a woman who drops her drawers soooooo expeditiously lolololo

His answer was yes, he could. Soooooo when I read an article on thefrisky.com about five reasons to have sex on the first date, I thought of the conversation.

One reason is in the words of Fat Albert, Hey, hey, hey! lololo

No, seriously, one reason is to seize the moment.

Another reason is to weed out the sexists. Remember, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Another is women like diggity too so why not.

So if a condom is worn, is it really OK to get bizzzy on the first date? Does this mean there may be a pattern of first date romps?

Dating With A 3-Month Old

If you met someone who has a baby, as in a younger than year old, would you be interested in some sort of relstionship.

Hmmmmm maybe a bootie call some peeps may think.

I am going to have to go out on a limb and say I could not possibly get involved with someone with a very young child.

I would think I was standing in line for a long baby mama drama ride with many twists and turns and ups and downs.

And you may say there may not be any drama, well ummmmmmm I do not have time to waste on this dating scenerio. It is sorta like dating a homeless man....yea he would eventually get himself together but do I want to waste a year waiting lolololol

I probably would consider if the man was married. Scratch that! A man who leaves his lil bitty baby, whew, may be inconsiderate and insensitive ooooooweee heck he is prolly mean.

Soooo would you date someone with a very young child?

My Arms Have To Be Missing To Open Car Door

I believe a man should open the car door for a woman. Yea, I am likely in the minority but I really feel this is necessary.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and see an old soul. I am really old fashioned.

But a recent conversation with a man who is about my age made me soooooo sad. He said he is not opening the door for a woman as long as she has arms!

Yea, go ahead and laff. It is funny but at the same time it is very sad. But then thr response from the ladies just about made me cry. Most women in the room said as long as the guy pays for dinner, he would be good!

I hung my head and said, 'Yep, chilvary is dead."

Do you think it is dead?

3-Month Relationship Checkup

I had an interesting conversation with a guy about renting, leasing and buying as it relates to relationships.

His argument is that usually a guy goes into a relationship understanding which one he is doing. Hmmmm

He said that a women may not be able to initially distiguish exactly what type of purchase has been made but after three months it will become more apparent.

A rent, he said, is usually treated rough. In this type of relationship, the man has no interest in keeping the girl around for long.

With a lease, the guy is OK with the current situation but has no intention of buying. He said that a lot of women get caught up in this type of relationship and never end up married.

In the buy, the man has every intention on making the girl his and goes out of his way to let her know that he sees a future with her. With this, however, he said it is important to watch the man's actions and not only go by what he is saying.

In all three kinds, he said a three-month relationship checkup is necessary to try to figure out if both people see the relationship the same. At three months, the type of relationship forming should be clear.

Do you have a good idea of where a relationship is going at three months? How long?

Why Do Guys Like Trashy Girls?

If you have been following entertainment news, you know that the latest news is Tiger and Jesse have been caught jibbin and jabbin with trashy girls.

For Tiger, it was like he was trying to get into the Guiness Book of Records for doing trashy, trashy, trashy women. And I know I am being very judgemental but how the heckypoo can you sleep with a porn star and not be scared for your life. I may be in the minority here but thinking about a man being with tons and tons of women is a definite turnoff and heck if I could watch a DVD of his action, wowsa yowsa, I would run for the hilly hills lololololol

Any who.

I read an article on Ask Men that explained why men are attracted to trashy women. Boi, did it open my mind to stuff.

One reason is the trashy girls do not need much effort to get. The article said trashy girls do not need drinks and dinner, etc to bed. It takes much less. Well, it just takes a man showing interest.

And this lrads into the other reason. Trashy girls usually have a need to please because they do not usually feel good about who they are. Heck, do not get mad at me I am just summarizing what I read.

But if one is to go along with these arguments, it would mean beautiful, strong, successful women are not interested in pleasing....hmmmm

Why do you think men go after trashy women?

Wicked Head Game Needed

I had the most interesting conversation with a fellow divorcee about maintaining a relationship.

The conversation started with guys getting turned out by strippers and essentially two kinds of peeps from two different backgrounds ending up in a relationship.

His answer was a "wicked head game."

I got quiet as a mouse because I was very interested in this argument of maintaining a relationship.

He continued, "Yes, she has to do something that will make him think about her all day."

Hmmmmmm

I kept listening.

"Women get off on taking a woman's man. It is like a competition and plus it is like 5 to 1 out here."

There may be a morsel of truth to what he is saying, so I do not dismiss him immediately. Plus, I love to hear peeps state a case. They actually reveal a lot about his or her own inner workings. : )

But is a wicked head game the only thing, THE only thing that is needed! So in essence all peeps who are in a successful relationship or marriage, meaning there is no cheating, there is a wicked head game! Wow!

And yea wicked head game is fellatio.

What do you think?

Forget Grocery Store, Meet Men At Laundromat

I had put off washing a comforter until finally my procrastinating got on my nerves. Soooo I grabbed my detergent and fabric softener and headed to the laundromat.

My first observation, cause I am that type of girl, was that a trip to the laundromat is pricey! It is like $2.50 a load! Soooo if I ever get another business, it will be a laundromat. After buying equipment and paying rent, the business practically runs itself. I could not help but think that peeps should buy a used washer or dryer and avoid the mat lololol, yea the mat, altogether.

Any who.

I put $5.50 in this double duty baby and my comforter was on its way to being Gain fresh. : )

But then while I am waiting, I am thinking. There is always a party in my mind. Thoughts are break dancin' and tickin' and wavin' lololol

Sooooo my mind goes to meeting someone in the laundromat...is it yucky or goody?

At first, I think nah not at the danggone laundromat but then I think YES, YES, YES!

Ummm because if he does not have someone washing his clothes, he just may be available. Lolololo

Then I imagine a stampede of women in bootie shorts and tight dresses invading the Mat lololol

Sooo is the laundromat an OK place to meet somebody? What do you think?

Fellas, Lies Should Not Be Bodacious

I hate a liar. Really, I hate a liar.

When a person lies, trust runs to the balcony and jumps from the 12th floor. Lololol

But seriously, I have learned that it is not even necessary to look a liar in the eyes. Just clean the wax out of your ears and listen intently. Usually, a liar does not think things through, reasoning is at an all time low and being rational has left the scene of the crime.

This has happen to me on several occasions. And fellas, let me just say the bigger and elaborate the lie the less likely she is to believe you.

I heard one of the biggest, bodacious lies of all time.

A guy goes out with a girl. He says he left his wallet in the car. He leaves cause he needs cash and gets pulled over and arrested. Several hours later, he calls the chickypoo and explains the aforementioned scenario. Get the fudge outta here!

Big and bodacious and unbelievable.

What do you surmise happened?

Umm, he likely saw another chickypoo with whom he was involved and vacated the premises lolololol

But what is even crazier is sometimes women go for these big A lies! Why? For many reasons, but I honestly believe that women know when they know when they know :)

But why do peeps lie so elaborately? And what is the most bodacious story you have fallen for?

Dating Someone Hot Makes You Hot

I read about a recent survey that found when a man or woman dates someone more attractive than him or herself that person becomes more desirable to others.

Well ahrighty then!

I do not want to slam any celebrity couples but a few come to mind. Pretty girl, well beeeaauuuuuutiful girl, with an OK looking dude. Sorry, cannot think of many stunning, drop-dead gorgeous men with ugg mo women.

Any who.

The survey caused me to pause. And then after thinking about it I started wondering why would this happen?

I think it has something to do with our innate ability to survive...survival of the fitess on the relationship front. So a guy we never thought was even near Handsome Drive looks a little better to women or at least worth checking out if he has a pretty girl.

I had a guy tell me that once a man is seen with a woman other women start clamoring, saying I am going to take him away from her!

But why is this? Do women find men more attractive when he has someone - married or in a relationship? And does it matter if she is cute?

He Stole My Flask!

I should know better and even when I share the crazy stories with my dad he comes close to calling his baby daughter a fool.

Any who.

I have gotten myself into a disastrous mess, yes, a mess!

I used to think dating was fun until I stumbled upon some of the craziest, of craziest behavior in not just one but a few men.

I seriously think I had a stalker fo real fo real but what I really got on my mind today is losers.

There are a lot of peeps looking to marry up and heck date up! Be very cautious of peeps looking to get over in whatever way they can.

I have done a very poor job at screening potentials. I missed the I am an opportunist signs. Yes, my name is Darlene and I need my assola whooped. Lolololo

I dated a guy who borrowed a monogrammed flask from me. Key word is borrowed. Heck, I should have thought ummm you don't have one so ummm you cannot borrow mine. But nah, Ms. Flaskless had to be nice.

It is a one of a kind leather-covered case with two shot glasses on top. Oh, it is nice very nice. But guess what? I loaned it and I lost it! Nah, he stole it.

This guy refuses to return MY flask. What a freakin looooooser!

But really, I am the one who lost a very nice flask.

Have you ever borrowed something from someone you have dated and refused to return the item or had this done to you?

Some Professions Are Known Cheaters

If you are married or thinking about getting married, you may want to consier your spouse's or soon-to-be spouse's occupation to determine if he or she is more likely to jump in the sack with someone else.

An Ashley Madison survey found that some professions are more likely to cheat, and let's not forget that Ashley Madison is an expert in the topic. Ashley Madison is the Web site that caters to married peeps who want to have affairs.

Soooo, who is on the list of a survey of 1.9 million people.

Well, well, well, real estate agents for both men and women top the list. I guess going in and out of other peeps homes gives one the desire to ummmm try out a few of the beds or bedrooms. Or maybe meeting soooo many people. I dunno.

But then teachers, stay-at-home moms, nurses and administrative assistants make the list for women.

Teachers! Whew! But there has been a lot of reports of teachers sexing students lately so I wonder does that count? LOLOLOL

And stay-at-home-moms, I see that all day evday. They are bored out of their minds. There is only sooooo much goo gooo gaaa gaaa a person can do before they want some adult conversation. Hey big boi, how you doing to the mailman, to the newspaper carrier, to the truck driver delivering the furniture, anybody who will listen.

Nurses! Well, I've heard some good stories about affairs and getting caught and all that shiggidy in hospitals soooo I see that.

Administrative assistants, heck yea, they are trying to climb or ummm sleep their way up the career ladder LOLOLOLOL

But then for the guys, there is a physician. OK, back to the craziness that goes on in hospital in closets and empty beds and elevators and parking lots and all that.

Police officers are on the list, and I'm not shocked. Uniform and women are suckas for men in uniforms sooooo... and they have some power and handcuffs. Cheaters fo sho!

Lawyers made the list. I guess power and they do have to have a mean convincing-game to win cases so they can likely talk a woman's panties off before she even knows it. LOLOLOLOL

But then there is the engineers. Wowsa Yowsa Wowsa. Ummmm, oooooowwwwweeee. The only thing I can say is it is the intelligence factor. Women like men that are smart, ooooh I mean, Darlene likes men who are smart. Talk about sexaaaaay!

Sooooo do you think a person's occupation has anything to do with their likelihood to cheat? Tell me.

You Have How Many Baby Daddys, Mamas?

It is a new day.

Gone are the days when the majority of people get married and have kids. Often, one child may be born before a marriage and then mom and dad go on to marry someone else.

Sooo if you are doing the math, there is already one baby's mama or daddy if you are the guy or girl.

Oooook, add the marriage or an unplanned goo gooo ga ga and there are like 2 or 3 chillins, yep, children with a southern accent and different mamas and daddys.

I am unique. I have no chillins so if a person says they have two kids, my mind automatically thinks one mother. This way of thinking is soooooo yesterday, a bit sad but nevertheless sooooo yesterday.

So one has to ask by the same person?

But errr uhhhh, how many baby mamas and daddys are too many? Meaning would you date someone who has kids by how many people, one, two, three or so folks or do you care?

Tell me.

Would You Consider A Fixer Up?

You have likely seen it happen. A guy or girl meets someone, fixes that person up, sometimes even making the person unrecognizable.

Well I had the most interesting conversation with a gf on this topic. We were laffin bout being married (although I am divorced) and waiting on a man to grow up.

But then I started cracking jokes saying I am going to go get me a guy with crooked teefus and plaid flooded pants. We holler in laughter about it and then she says if you find him that way you better leave him that way.

Our laughter continues until tears are rolling down my face and my stomach is hurting.

But then the seriousness of the topic hits. Peeps really do date fixer ups and the fixer ups get real foxy and roll out...with a new grill, nice car, graduate degrees and more.

Soooo would you consider dating a person deficient in a particular area but help them to be better or do you expect a person to come to the table at their best?

Is It ADHD If Mate Doesn't Pay Attention?

There are many things that can plague a relationship - family members, finances, infidelity, illnesses and on and on.

But recently while watching TV, yea I watch waaaay too much TV, I saw a commercial.

It talked about people who are disorganized and who have a hard time paying attention just may have an illness. I am sorry but there is too much labeling going on. If someone is disorganized, they are junky! If a person has a hard time paying attention, they lack discipline.

What is this world coming to when every little thing is something that needs medication or an action guide? Whatever happened to just calling a Spade a Spade! Everybody is using excuses.

Soooo as I look around my bedroom that has laundry that needs to be folded, I am thinking that maybe just maybe I need to go to the web site adhdactionguide.com lolololol

Nah, I just need to fold up these dayuuum clothes. Lolololo

Would you believe someone who has a junky home or a hard time paying attention has ADHD? How would you handle? Or could it really be a serious problem?

Man, You Wear A Girdle!

There are all kinds of undergarments for women to lift this and tuck this and flatten this.

I love a good bra but I refuse to wear high wasted panties, biker short girdles and too tight slips nope, aaaannnntttt, not gonna do it.

I arrived at this decision after buying a biker short spanx girdle when I was the Pillsbury Dough girl lololol

Yep, I was tryin to smooth out some bumps and lumps but the only thing that tight contraption did was make me uncomfortable. I felt like a sausage link that was going to explode at any moment.

I will never forget the day I put on my girdle for the last time. I had on a wrap dress and it was about 80 degrees out. The dress was soooo cute but I had a kangaroo pouch in the front lololol so I reached for my squeeze me tight biker short style girdle and pulled and tugged until the midsection of my body was smothered and suffocating. I then glanced in the mirror and said the heck with this! My stomach is just as fat, and I am uncomfy as heckypoo soooo fuuuuuhget it. I slipped the hold me tight girdle off and decided I had to do something about it.

But errr uhhh, the other day I was watching the news and I heard a story about girdles becoming really popular among men. I bout fell out my chair just thinking about it.

Picture this...very nice evening with a man who tells you across the dinner table that he wears a girdle. I would holler in laughter and speedwalk away lololol

Yea, I am terrible but there is no way I could date a guy who wears a girdle. Ladies, could you? Fellas, would you wear one?

Making Sexually Suggestive Tape Is A Mistake

I looked down at my phone and saw a message from someone I was dating.

"I should just post that video of you for saying that!"

I thought my heart jumped out my chest. But it actually fell into my tummy. And I'm no nurse or doctor but my heart rate quadrupled.

Yea, we had been engaged in a difference of opinions. It really wasn't an argument because there was no yelling. Remember, we were texting. I was trying to make a point about the way he responds to situation, but when I looked at my phone and saw that text, I was OUT DONE! I couldn't believe that he actually sent that message to me. Heck, I couldn't believe that he actually thought about humiliating me.

I've blogged about sexting and sending nude photos. And most peeps agree that sending a nude photo with your head cut off is OK. And nope I didn't think anything was really wrong with it, either. Honestly, I found it a bit titilating, fun and exciting. And I would really be doing a disservice if I left out that it is foreplay. And heck that has to be the most exciting part about sending a sexually suggestive text, photo or video, but errr uhhh I have changed my mind.

Recently, I found myself threatened and humiliated about a video that I made. Nah, that I starred in. LOLOLOLOL, yea, I'm laffin to keep from cryin... But seriously, I want others to learn from my mistake.

I had gone to a gentleman's club on a Saturday night after an evening on the town having fun, big fun.

After one girl finishes her routine, I turn to the guy and say, "I'm going to dance like that for you when we get home." And I did. And he videotaped it.

At the time, I wasn't thinking that maybe he would threaten to show it off on Facebook one day. I'm not famous. You can't make any money off of it, sooooo what would be the point of showing anyone else the video? I thought he just wanted it for himself.

He hasn't put the video online yet, but ladies and yes, gentleman, it was a very scary feeling. I've been through some shiggidy with mean things being said before but I have never had something give me this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was a humiliating feeling to have someone threaten to reveal to the world something that I did in the privacy of my own home.

Sooooo ladies and ummm gents too, you may think that the person you are sending photos and videos to will never share it with anyone. I did too, but he not only threatened once but two times to do it soooooo one never really knows what another is capable of doing. And yea, I'm mad at him, but I'm made at myself more.

I love Sanford and Son, love it, and everytime I think about what I have done, I say, "Youuuuu biiiiig dummmmmy!"

Have you ever made a sex tape or sexually suggestive tape and had someone threaten to post it online or share with others? What would make a person do that? Tell me.