Women Do Not Want A 50/50 Relationship

One of my Facebook friends asked, Do women want a relationship that is 50/50?

I responded, No!

He then asked what do women want?

So I responded, "A partner who somehow has figured out a way to finesse authority without being dominant...a provider who will ensure that his significant other is OK, emotionally, physically etc...a gentleman who will, if not always, open a door to make her feel adored...a man who will show her his complexities without appearing weak :) OK, that's just the first paragraph of a 5-page paper LOLOLOLOL"

But seriously, a lot of women say that they want a relationship that is 50/50 when they really don't. That is 50/50 financially.

A woman, at least women like me who were raised by both parents and a father who was a true provider, want a man to take the lead with everything. Yep, I said it...EVERYTHING!

What woman wants to be out working like a dog to make sure the bills are met? Then clean the house, care for the kids, wash clothes, cook meals? A fool! LOLOLOL

Well at least I don't want to have to do all that ... and this here girl ain't scared to admit it.

I want a HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD...not just for tax purposes but for everyday purposes. A woman should be a man's helpmate. And yea, he should help out around the house with chores, but I'm old fashioned...what he does is just icing on the cake...just makes a relationship better.

*Hand in air --- BOOOM!!!!

Do you think most women want a 50/50 financial relationship?

Your Sig Other Has To Make You Feel Comfy

It is amazing to me how much you learn the longer you live. My father always would tell me, "Keep Living," when I would not know about something or be amazed that someone actually did something I found to be unappealing.

And now I do believe that I finally know what he meant.

While watching a movie, yea a Lifetime movie, something really hit me. The guy said, "I like the way I feel when I'm with you." The girl didn't think she was worthy because she was a bit frumpy and overweight, but she was smart, witty and a helluva writer.

But when he said, "I like the way I feel when I'm with you," my antenna rose. I've heard that a man falls in love with the way a woman makes him feel, but I've never even been interested in what makes the woman fall in love. And while women and men are always discussing our differences, this is where I think we may have more in common than we actually realize. I think a woman falls in love with the way that a man makes her feel.

But it's more than buying flowers, going on dates, rubbing her feet, listening to her and catering to her. I think it has something to do with being able to reveal yourself 100 percent -- the good, the bad and the indifferent and not feel judged.

And heck, if that's not what women think, I think it!!!!

One of the worst characteristics in a man in a human is being so critical and judgemental as if there is nothing wrong with the person doing the judging. Sweep around your own doorstep first...yea, my mom says that LOLOLOLO

But what I guess I'm really trying to point out is there is a certain level of comfort with a person who isn't sooooooo quick to judge, a person who will let you figure out the errs of your way in your own time, a person who will pick you up when you fall on your face and yep, it was your fault.

I've written a bunch of posts on physical characteristics....He can't be this height and his teeth can have a crossword puzzle going on....LOLOLOL...that he should have nice arms....owwwww, yes goodness I like nice arms....and yeppers I still like all that, yep, I do....but the most important quality is my comfort level.

Can I bear all and feel comfy?
Can I leave my zit cream on my face accidentally and not be embarassed?
Can I poot...only by accident, cause ladies do that sort of thing in private....LOLOLOL
Can I laugh at myself and not feel like he is laughing at me but laughing with me?
Can I say I'm scared?
Can he see that I'm junky, yep, I'm junky, and not tell me what I need to do?

Yea, the longer I live the more I learn. I just wish that I the importance of character qualities much earlier. Character qualities such as, patience, kindness, humility, understanding, sincerity, attentiveness, gentleness, honesty and faithfulness are essentially the foundation to a good relationship, to a great comfort level.

How important is it for you to feel comfortable with your sig other? Do you feel you can share just about anything and not be judged? Or do you hold back?

I Don't Know When To Let Go!

I have come to a conclusion about something. I do NOT know when to let go.

I don't know when to let go in relationships.

For some odd reasons, there can be many signs but I keep on going just like nothing is going on. Yea, I have to admit also that I don't like to rock the boat. I don't like conflict. I looooove peace so sometimes this comes at a great expense.

I have made a few, only a few, decisions in my lifetime that caused me to let go, and still when I decided to let go -- I second guessed myself.

It must be the indecisive Libra in me.

But I have made a commitment to myself to begin to weigh the good and the bad and then begin to pitch...as in the gawbage LOLOLOL Get gone. Goodbye!

I have dated a few guys -- who I knew with every stitch in me -- were SELFISH. Not just the typical I gotta look out for myself selfish but that SUPA SELFISHNESS.

I second guessed myself. Oh, Darlene, don't be so quick to judge. Give this fella a chance. Fuhget that!

When my mind and my gut tells me that something is about to go awry or going awry, it's time to put on my tall boots and get outta that shiddd LOLOLOLO

When do you know that it's time to let go?

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Going Through A Separation, Divorce Ain't Easy

I have a relative who is getting ready to go through a very difficult patch in her life. She is separated from her husband.

When I hear about separation or divorce, my heard goes out...way out to the people involved. Going through a separation or divorce ain't easy. I know!

I remember when one of my gfs gave me a book, "Growing Through Divorce." At first I looked at it and really didn't want to start reading it, but one day I grabbed it and soon read it from cover to cover. It really helped because it put things in perspective and it made me realize that I wasn't the first and will not be the last to experience a divorce.

The book also talked about how EVERYTHING in your life changes. What you used to do, you do not do anymore? Your daily routine changes? Your living situation changes? Your sleeping situation changes? (Ya know some people just like a warm body lying next to them at night.)

My relative told me that she needs help. Those were her exact words, "Help Me!" My eyes grew misty. My heart skipped a beat. I had a few flashbacks of my very own divorce, which I'm not ashamed to say just about broke me. I knew it wasn't a good marriage during the end, but I was hoping that somehow, some way it could be salvaged. The convenant that I made before my family, friends and God was something else that bothered me tremendously. Breaking that vow made me disappointed in myself.

So when my relative said, "Help Me!" I searched my heart on exactly how I could help. I cannot have a very strong opinion one way or the other. That is not my place. All I can say to her is, "Being happy is precious and important." I can also say that "Peace is a wonderful thing."

I know that the divorce rate is over 50 percent and people jump in and out of marriages like it's nothing...can you say Kim Khardasian... but marriage should not be taken lightly -- getting into it or getting out of it.

What is the hardest thing about going through a divorce or (a break-up if you are not married)?

Married People Should Stay At Home

Often, singles are ranting about how they want to be in a committed relationship. They want that special someone.

But there are many sacrifices that I don't think singles think about as they are yearning that special someone. We have all heard the jibberish about compromise.

But I think compromise is one of the key ingredients to a lasting relationship. Singles can be just as selfish as they wanna be, but when a person enters into a relationship, it becomes necessary to think about the other person.

The luxury of being single is you can come and go as you please. You can do what you want and don't have to answer to ANNNNNNYBODY....How bout that!When a person is in a committed relationship, you have to listen to someone else's feelings about your behavior.

If some type of behavior -- going out to a club, cooking, cleaning, blah blah blah --is bothering your mate, you have to fix it and fix it fast.One of my gfs loves to go out but she doesn't go out as much since she got married. Another gf wanted to go out twice in one weekend but then when she shared this with her husband he said NOPE, I don't want you to go out, so she stayed home.

On a recent trip to Puerto Rico, there were a few husbands of the people who journeyed along with me, who were truly upset about their other half going with a "single" friend/relative.

I guess they thought that their significant other was so weak that if I told them to go sleep with half of the men in the hotel that they would. Or maybe they thought I was going to encourage them to drink or shop...foolishness I say, foooooooolishness!

I don't have control over anybody and nobody has control over me to make me do something that I didn't want to do anyway.Any who.I wanted an all-girl trip to celebrate my 40th.

I wanted to go to Puerto Rico and relax and enjoy. And I did not want a fella with me. On my bucket list was an All-Girl trip and now it is checked off.But after that trip and the uproar it caused with a couple of the married people and the recent events for a few of my friends and relatives having to change their plans because of their spouses, I am beginning to think that being single (as in unmarried) is not bad at all.

Some of the perks of being single are:

1. You don't have to answer to anybody.
2. You don't have to answer to anybody.
3. You don't have to answer to anybody.

LOLOLOLOL

There is always discussion about the negative aspect of being single. But what are the advantages of being single?

Do Women's Libidos Just Die?

I find it quite interesting how some women can take it or leave it....yep, I am talking about diggity.

I have had some of the craziest conversations with women who seem like they can't get enough and others who pretend to be sleep because they have no desire to be with their significant other at all.

I do understand that everyone has varied levels of desire. Some may want it twice a day, others once a day, others every other day and still others a couple times a week.

My bottom lip falls on the floor when I hear women say that they have NO desire at all and they don't even want it.

Wowsa!

Don't even want it! This is the part of the conversation when my lip is on the floor and my eyes are bulging out my head. I have tried to hide it but I can't. How I feel on the inside shows on my face.

First, we are all sexual beings. We are animals!!! Second, don't we need it. After all, that is what leads to procreation. Third, it's a great stress reliever. Fourth, it puts a bounce in your step. Fifth, it gives you a glow. Sixth, it feels good...OK, OK, OK!

Sooooo how do you get to a certain age, or have children, or dislike your husband or significant other soooooo much that you decide I JUST DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!

I've been hearing this type of whatever attitude toward a healthy sex life (healthy to me is at least 3 times a week, according to the Diggity Institute ... LOLOLO) for a while and have found out there are a few things that a woman can do to boost her desire.

Try meditative breathing. Innnnnnnn and Ouuuuuuuuut.... :)
Exercise.
Get your testerone level checked to make sure it's not too low. Ummmm, there's medication for that.
Eat bananas, oysters, avocados, pumpkin seeds, garlic.
Take Ginkgo bilobo or a supplement that will help blood flow.

Now, that's what I have read and I would like to add -- read a few sexual books,lose some weight, yea, I said it!!!! ... take a striptease class, take a pole dancing class, put on a wig and act like a prostitute LOLOLOLOL ....OK, enough of that :)

But when should a woman be concerned about her libido? What is a too low libido? Once a month?

I Am Going To Follow My Intuition

It is quite interesting to me that Kim Kardashian says that she arrived at her decision to end her 72-day marriage by following her intuition.

Following one's intuition, gut feeling, first mind -- whatever you may call it -- is important.

This is something that I have to admit that I haven't always done. Sometimes when you feel something, it's real. It is not your mind playing tricks on you.

I found myself in situations -- a dating situation of course -- when I knew in my gut that something wasn't quite right about behavior. He was too nice to be true. He was too attentive. He was not attentive enough.

In all these situations, I felt like there was something hiding...ya know...like a shark swimming under beautiful beach water. And yep, there was something underneath that had not been revealed.

Even though I felt it. I felt like something wasn't quite right. I knew it in my gut, but I chose to ignore it.

I think that too often women ignore the telltale signs that a relationship is not going to work. We may feel like we are being too hard. We may feel like we are being too picky. We may just crave the attention and affection of a man so Mr. Wrong seems to be OK at the moment.

When have you ignored a gut feeling or your intuition? And if you don't want to share any personal stories, tell me why you think women ignore that intution when seeking love?

Should Married People Get Tested For STDs?

Ahhhhhhh!

It feels good. I'm one day late, but it is not always the swift who win the race.

With that said, Welcome and Thank You so much for reading my blog. As I have written before, I had fallen off in a major way with my commitment to my blog and to finishing my book, but all of that is over. I have made a promise to myself. I will not, however, reveal the deadline that I have set to finish the book until I have sent it to an editor.

But any who.

There are some major changes taking place with my insurance at my workplace. Let's just say I truly understand the importance of universal health care.

While having a conversation with one of my sisters, we attempt to add up the costs of going to the doctor when a really high deductible is involved.

Keep in mind, preventive care is covered. For a woman, this would include pap smears, mammograms and a yearly physical.

But then I tell my sister that I have always, always -- even when I was married -- gotten tested for STDs when the doctor asks. In connection to our conversation about health care, those tests are expensive because it involves lab work...if you were wondering.

Any who, my sister says she doesn't get those battery of tests, and I am shocked and appalled. Why not, I snap.

She stands just as strong in her decision, I don't and I don't think that I need to be tested for STDs yearly.

I don't really delve too much deeper about why she doesn't because the conversation is more so about about my impending health care costs, but after we ended our chat I thought about it some more during my private time.

A woman is playing Russian roulette with her health in my humble opinion if she doesn't. If cheating is as rampant as people say it is then women --- married, single -- should get tested for STDs at least ONCE a year when the doctor provides that option. And, yep, I have had an HIV test.

After all, it is not just single men who cheat on their girlfriend who thinks she's the only one. Heck, married men cheat. And yea fellas, women cheat too.

Thinking more about it, I wondered if just the mere action of being tested reveals an inability in my psyche to trust completely. But errr uhhh, this isn't about any trust issues I may have uncovered LOLOLOL

Sooooo, should married people, women in particularly during her yearly examination with the gynecologist be tested for STDs? Join me here or at www.facebook.com/choosingmrwrong to discuss this!!!