Choosing Mr. Wrong

Women Do Not Want A 50/50 Relationship

2011-11-17T09:31:00.004-05:00

One of my Facebook friends asked, Do women want a relationship that is 50/50?

I responded, No!

He then asked what do women want?

So I responded, "A partner who somehow has figured out a way to finesse authority without being dominant...a provider who will ensure that his significant other is OK, emotionally, physically etc...a gentleman who will, if not always, open a door to make her feel adored...a man who will show her his complexities without appearing weak :) OK, that's just the first paragraph of a 5-page paper LOLOLOLOL"

But seriously, a lot of women say that they want a relationship that is 50/50 when they really don't. That is 50/50 financially.

A woman, at least women like me who were raised by both parents and a father who was a true provider, want a man to take the lead with everything. Yep, I said it...EVERYTHING!

What woman wants to be out working like a dog to make sure the bills are met? Then clean the house, care for the kids, wash clothes, cook meals? A fool! LOLOLOL

Well at least I don't want to have to do all that ... and this here girl ain't scared to admit it.

I want a HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD...not just for tax purposes but for everyday purposes. A woman should be a man's helpmate. And yea, he should help out around the house with chores, but I'm old fashioned...what he does is just icing on the cake...just makes a relationship better.

*Hand in air --- BOOOM!!!!

Do you think most women want a 50/50 financial relationship?

Your Sig Other Has To Make You Feel Comfy

2011-11-14T09:10:00.002-05:00

It is amazing to me how much you learn the longer you live. My father always would tell me, "Keep Living," when I would not know about something or be amazed that someone actually did something I found to be unappealing.

And now I do believe that I finally know what he meant.

While watching a movie, yea a Lifetime movie, something really hit me. The guy said, "I like the way I feel when I'm with you." The girl didn't think she was worthy because she was a bit frumpy and overweight, but she was smart, witty and a helluva writer.

But when he said, "I like the way I feel when I'm with you," my antenna rose. I've heard that a man falls in love with the way a woman makes him feel, but I've never even been interested in what makes the woman fall in love. And while women and men are always discussing our differences, this is where I think we may have more in common than we actually realize. I think a woman falls in love with the way that a man makes her feel.

But it's more than buying flowers, going on dates, rubbing her feet, listening to her and catering to her. I think it has something to do with being able to reveal yourself 100 percent -- the good, the bad and the indifferent and not feel judged.

And heck, if that's not what women think, I think it!!!!

One of the worst characteristics in a man in a human is being so critical and judgemental as if there is nothing wrong with the person doing the judging. Sweep around your own doorstep first...yea, my mom says that LOLOLOLO

But what I guess I'm really trying to point out is there is a certain level of comfort with a person who isn't sooooooo quick to judge, a person who will let you figure out the errs of your way in your own time, a person who will pick you up when you fall on your face and yep, it was your fault.

I've written a bunch of posts on physical characteristics....He can't be this height and his teeth can have a crossword puzzle going on....LOLOLOL...that he should have nice arms....owwwww, yes goodness I like nice arms....and yeppers I still like all that, yep, I do....but the most important quality is my comfort level.

Can I bear all and feel comfy?
Can I leave my zit cream on my face accidentally and not be embarassed?
Can I poot...only by accident, cause ladies do that sort of thing in private....LOLOLOL
Can I laugh at myself and not feel like he is laughing at me but laughing with me?
Can I say I'm scared?
Can he see that I'm junky, yep, I'm junky, and not tell me what I need to do?

Yea, the longer I live the more I learn. I just wish that I the importance of character qualities much earlier. Character qualities such as, patience, kindness, humility, understanding, sincerity, attentiveness, gentleness, honesty and faithfulness are essentially the foundation to a good relationship, to a great comfort level.

How important is it for you to feel comfortable with your sig other? Do you feel you can share just about anything and not be judged? Or do you hold back?

I Don't Know When To Let Go!

2011-11-09T16:18:00.004-05:00

I have come to a conclusion about something. I do NOT know when to let go.

I don't know when to let go in relationships.

For some odd reasons, there can be many signs but I keep on going just like nothing is going on. Yea, I have to admit also that I don't like to rock the boat. I don't like conflict. I looooove peace so sometimes this comes at a great expense.

I have made a few, only a few, decisions in my lifetime that caused me to let go, and still when I decided to let go -- I second guessed myself.

It must be the indecisive Libra in me.

But I have made a commitment to myself to begin to weigh the good and the bad and then begin to pitch...as in the gawbage LOLOLOL Get gone. Goodbye!

I have dated a few guys -- who I knew with every stitch in me -- were SELFISH. Not just the typical I gotta look out for myself selfish but that SUPA SELFISHNESS.

I second guessed myself. Oh, Darlene, don't be so quick to judge. Give this fella a chance. Fuhget that!

When my mind and my gut tells me that something is about to go awry or going awry, it's time to put on my tall boots and get outta that shiddd LOLOLOLO

When do you know that it's time to let go?

#choosingmrwrong on Twitter and follow me on Facebook

Going Through A Separation, Divorce Ain't Easy

2011-11-08T09:51:00.003-05:00

I have a relative who is getting ready to go through a very difficult patch in her life. She is separated from her husband.

When I hear about separation or divorce, my heard goes out...way out to the people involved. Going through a separation or divorce ain't easy. I know!

I remember when one of my gfs gave me a book, "Growing Through Divorce." At first I looked at it and really didn't want to start reading it, but one day I grabbed it and soon read it from cover to cover. It really helped because it put things in perspective and it made me realize that I wasn't the first and will not be the last to experience a divorce.

The book also talked about how EVERYTHING in your life changes. What you used to do, you do not do anymore? Your daily routine changes? Your living situation changes? Your sleeping situation changes? (Ya know some people just like a warm body lying next to them at night.)

My relative told me that she needs help. Those were her exact words, "Help Me!" My eyes grew misty. My heart skipped a beat. I had a few flashbacks of my very own divorce, which I'm not ashamed to say just about broke me. I knew it wasn't a good marriage during the end, but I was hoping that somehow, some way it could be salvaged. The convenant that I made before my family, friends and God was something else that bothered me tremendously. Breaking that vow made me disappointed in myself.

So when my relative said, "Help Me!" I searched my heart on exactly how I could help. I cannot have a very strong opinion one way or the other. That is not my place. All I can say to her is, "Being happy is precious and important." I can also say that "Peace is a wonderful thing."

I know that the divorce rate is over 50 percent and people jump in and out of marriages like it's nothing...can you say Kim Khardasian... but marriage should not be taken lightly -- getting into it or getting out of it.

What is the hardest thing about going through a divorce or (a break-up if you are not married)?

Married People Should Stay At Home

2011-11-07T10:03:00.001-05:00

Often, singles are ranting about how they want to be in a committed relationship. They want that special someone.

But there are many sacrifices that I don't think singles think about as they are yearning that special someone. We have all heard the jibberish about compromise.

But I think compromise is one of the key ingredients to a lasting relationship. Singles can be just as selfish as they wanna be, but when a person enters into a relationship, it becomes necessary to think about the other person.

The luxury of being single is you can come and go as you please. You can do what you want and don't have to answer to ANNNNNNYBODY....How bout that!When a person is in a committed relationship, you have to listen to someone else's feelings about your behavior.

If some type of behavior -- going out to a club, cooking, cleaning, blah blah blah --is bothering your mate, you have to fix it and fix it fast.One of my gfs loves to go out but she doesn't go out as much since she got married. Another gf wanted to go out twice in one weekend but then when she shared this with her husband he said NOPE, I don't want you to go out, so she stayed home.

On a recent trip to Puerto Rico, there were a few husbands of the people who journeyed along with me, who were truly upset about their other half going with a "single" friend/relative.

I guess they thought that their significant other was so weak that if I told them to go sleep with half of the men in the hotel that they would. Or maybe they thought I was going to encourage them to drink or shop...foolishness I say, foooooooolishness!

I don't have control over anybody and nobody has control over me to make me do something that I didn't want to do anyway.Any who.I wanted an all-girl trip to celebrate my 40th.

I wanted to go to Puerto Rico and relax and enjoy. And I did not want a fella with me. On my bucket list was an All-Girl trip and now it is checked off.But after that trip and the uproar it caused with a couple of the married people and the recent events for a few of my friends and relatives having to change their plans because of their spouses, I am beginning to think that being single (as in unmarried) is not bad at all.

Some of the perks of being single are:

1. You don't have to answer to anybody.
2. You don't have to answer to anybody.
3. You don't have to answer to anybody.

LOLOLOLOL

There is always discussion about the negative aspect of being single. But what are the advantages of being single?

Do Women's Libidos Just Die?

2011-11-04T09:35:00.004-04:00

I find it quite interesting how some women can take it or leave it....yep, I am talking about diggity.

I have had some of the craziest conversations with women who seem like they can't get enough and others who pretend to be sleep because they have no desire to be with their significant other at all.

I do understand that everyone has varied levels of desire. Some may want it twice a day, others once a day, others every other day and still others a couple times a week.

My bottom lip falls on the floor when I hear women say that they have NO desire at all and they don't even want it.

Wowsa!

Don't even want it! This is the part of the conversation when my lip is on the floor and my eyes are bulging out my head. I have tried to hide it but I can't. How I feel on the inside shows on my face.

First, we are all sexual beings. We are animals!!! Second, don't we need it. After all, that is what leads to procreation. Third, it's a great stress reliever. Fourth, it puts a bounce in your step. Fifth, it gives you a glow. Sixth, it feels good...OK, OK, OK!

Sooooo how do you get to a certain age, or have children, or dislike your husband or significant other soooooo much that you decide I JUST DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!

I've been hearing this type of whatever attitude toward a healthy sex life (healthy to me is at least 3 times a week, according to the Diggity Institute ... LOLOLO) for a while and have found out there are a few things that a woman can do to boost her desire.

Try meditative breathing. Innnnnnnn and Ouuuuuuuuut.... :)
Exercise.
Get your testerone level checked to make sure it's not too low. Ummmm, there's medication for that.
Eat bananas, oysters, avocados, pumpkin seeds, garlic.
Take Ginkgo bilobo or a supplement that will help blood flow.

Now, that's what I have read and I would like to add -- read a few sexual books,lose some weight, yea, I said it!!!! ... take a striptease class, take a pole dancing class, put on a wig and act like a prostitute LOLOLOLOL ....OK, enough of that :)

But when should a woman be concerned about her libido? What is a too low libido? Once a month?

I Am Going To Follow My Intuition

2011-11-03T11:39:00.004-04:00

It is quite interesting to me that Kim Kardashian says that she arrived at her decision to end her 72-day marriage by following her intuition.

Following one's intuition, gut feeling, first mind -- whatever you may call it -- is important.

This is something that I have to admit that I haven't always done. Sometimes when you feel something, it's real. It is not your mind playing tricks on you.

I found myself in situations -- a dating situation of course -- when I knew in my gut that something wasn't quite right about behavior. He was too nice to be true. He was too attentive. He was not attentive enough.

In all these situations, I felt like there was something hiding...ya know...like a shark swimming under beautiful beach water. And yep, there was something underneath that had not been revealed.

Even though I felt it. I felt like something wasn't quite right. I knew it in my gut, but I chose to ignore it.

I think that too often women ignore the telltale signs that a relationship is not going to work. We may feel like we are being too hard. We may feel like we are being too picky. We may just crave the attention and affection of a man so Mr. Wrong seems to be OK at the moment.

When have you ignored a gut feeling or your intuition? And if you don't want to share any personal stories, tell me why you think women ignore that intution when seeking love?

Should Married People Get Tested For STDs?

2011-11-02T08:43:00.003-04:00

Ahhhhhhh!

It feels good. I'm one day late, but it is not always the swift who win the race.

With that said, Welcome and Thank You so much for reading my blog. As I have written before, I had fallen off in a major way with my commitment to my blog and to finishing my book, but all of that is over. I have made a promise to myself. I will not, however, reveal the deadline that I have set to finish the book until I have sent it to an editor.

But any who.

There are some major changes taking place with my insurance at my workplace. Let's just say I truly understand the importance of universal health care.

While having a conversation with one of my sisters, we attempt to add up the costs of going to the doctor when a really high deductible is involved.

Keep in mind, preventive care is covered. For a woman, this would include pap smears, mammograms and a yearly physical.

But then I tell my sister that I have always, always -- even when I was married -- gotten tested for STDs when the doctor asks. In connection to our conversation about health care, those tests are expensive because it involves lab work...if you were wondering.

Any who, my sister says she doesn't get those battery of tests, and I am shocked and appalled. Why not, I snap.

She stands just as strong in her decision, I don't and I don't think that I need to be tested for STDs yearly.

I don't really delve too much deeper about why she doesn't because the conversation is more so about about my impending health care costs, but after we ended our chat I thought about it some more during my private time.

A woman is playing Russian roulette with her health in my humble opinion if she doesn't. If cheating is as rampant as people say it is then women --- married, single -- should get tested for STDs at least ONCE a year when the doctor provides that option. And, yep, I have had an HIV test.

After all, it is not just single men who cheat on their girlfriend who thinks she's the only one. Heck, married men cheat. And yea fellas, women cheat too.

Thinking more about it, I wondered if just the mere action of being tested reveals an inability in my psyche to trust completely. But errr uhhh, this isn't about any trust issues I may have uncovered LOLOLOL

Sooooo, should married people, women in particularly during her yearly examination with the gynecologist be tested for STDs? Join me here or at www.facebook.com/choosingmrwrong to discuss this!!!

I Am Working On Committing

2011-10-26T10:46:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I've grabbed my laptop and blogged about my life, my friends' lives or stories I've heard, but I'm working on re-committing as of November 1.

Wow! There has been a lot going on in my world. I went to Puerto Rico to celebrate my BIG 40. All girls and yep, it was a grand time.

I have been on a lot of vacations, but this one oooooooowwww! The best one ever!!!

My grand re-opening, resurrection, return-to-doing-it blog will be about my trip to Puerto Rico.

Hmmmmm! Everybody should go on an all-girls or all-guys trip before they die or should they?

See you on Tuesday, Nov. 1!!!

Dating, Sleeping Around Town

2011-02-18T10:04:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure of the line in one of Drake's raps, but it says something about not being able to find someone who hasn't been with everybody.

To me, it is an interesting phenomenon because it seems like everybody has been with everybody. And it's not like they had any type of lasting relationship...it was just diggity. Wham, bam...or ooochie cooochie cause I'm horny. LOLOLOLOLO

But I have to caution women and yep, men too...nobody wants to be with someone that everybody has been with. One more time...NO ONE wants to be with a person that everybody has laid down with...get it...got it...good.

OK, let's quantify everybody. For a man, I will give a slight pass because men can be a bit more promiscuous than women and it not be a terrible, terrible thing....wowsa did I say that? Yep, I said it!

Dating is sooooo interesting to me. If you date a person who has never been married ummmmm get ready...but if you date a person who is divorced, their numbers can add up too. As a matter of fact, my jaw has dropped at the number of people some have dated and slept with. I've thought about giving a few people T-shirts that read: I have dated and I have slept with just about everybody....LOLOLOLOLOL

Truly, I have to say it's a major turnoff. There is nothing worse than going out with a guy who has slept with half of the city and dated the other half of the single population.

I went out with one guy and I knew he had been out here and there and everywhere, but I said what the heckypoo, I'm just going on a date. But then I started thinking this is a big ole waste of my time because I can't get pass the fact that he has been with soooooooooooooooo many people, so let me grab my purse and take my arse home.

I do think it is worse, however, when a woman who has been with half the single population. And I have to say that being loose as a goose may contribute to why she hasn't landed a fella who wants to marry her...IJS...Again, who wants someone who everybody has been with?

With that said, and being honest, would you date a guy or girl who has really been around town...Would it bother you if you knew five or ten people she or he has done the oochie cooochie with? Be honest.

Valentine's: Single Awareness Day Or Love Day

2011-02-14T08:38:00.008-05:00

I recently became aware that singles call Valentine's Day...Singles Awareness Day or SAD.

But what is truly sad to me is that singles would assign such an acronym to a day that is supposed to be a day to celebrate love. And yea, I know some people out there do NOT believe in Valentine's Day and don't celebrate and that yadda, yadda bull-ish but to call it Singles Awareness Day?

February has come to represent a crucial time in my life...Four years ago, I was still married and had decided, along with my ex, that we were going to start a family...I was 35 and thinking that my biological clock was a ticking time bomb. I was consumed with reading everything about a woman's cycle and fertility and pregnancy. Stressed out and intense... and it did not happen.

A year later, I was in court...albeit Divorce Court...my life had been flipped upside down...Everything as I knew my life was changing and changing and changing.

Two years later, I was unemployed and wondering what was around the corner for me. I was wondering where would I land after I stepped out on my faith and decided not to reapply for a job that I had been on for 11 years. I flew out of Cleveland on Valentine's Day for an interview in Chicago at Sears Roebuck. I was being transported in a limo from the airport and wishing and hoping that I could land what I thought would be a dream job in the Windy City.

And ahhhh this year, I am gainfully employed and have been chosen to attend an out-of-state conference to represent my agency.

While in church yesterday, my pastor preached on "Standing On God's Promises." His message also spoke on the importance of having faith.

Although I would love, love, love to be in a good, healthy, fun, loving, solid relationship, with one or two children, there is nothing SAD about my life ... and yea, it just happens to be in a single state at this moment. But I am standing on God's promise to take care of his child and have the right man, who will have nice teeth and arms LOLOLOL ...Be tall, considerate, loving, kind, fun, drama-free, ambitious, family-oriented and most importantly -- God fearing.

Sadly, a lot of people, single people, have things confused. Being with another person doesn't make one happy. You make you happy!

With that said, I embrace every aspect of my life...it is preparing me for that perfect guy for me -- there's nothing SAD about my relationship status.

I am right where I am supposed to be...where I should be on this day of love. So if you are single don't waddle in self pity...celebrate it...Get to know that most important person in your life...YOU!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Breaking Up During Holidays So Hard To Do

2010-12-07T09:15:00.004-05:00

The holiday season is upon us and for many it's one of the most anticipated times of year. Family members come from out of town and family gatherings are extra special. There are many holiday parties and anything given at this time of year has a holiday feel to it.

It's a good time. I looooooooooove Christmas. I especially love Christmas Eve because it is my parents' anniversary and while growing up we opened gifts on Christmas Eve -- not Christmas Day.

In addition to the gift giving, I remember helping my mom in the kitchen to prepare our big Christmas meal.

Any who. It's just a wonderful time of year to me. I'm not even going to touch on the birthday we celebrate because I will go to church on y'all :)

But on top of family and friend stuff, many people share this time of year with the person that they like or love...ya know, that significant other.

January is the most popular month for filing divorce, however. It's likely because couples are trying to get through the holidays without ruining it for others and changing up the way that things have been done for years.

Plus, I also feel that there is a much larger percentage of men and women than we have ever imagined who are afraid, petrified, mortified, horrified of being alone.

But errrr uhhhh alone is not lonely. I don't think people truly understand that you can be in a relationship and be lonely as heckypoo...nah hell. You can feel like you are in hell with the devil. You can sit in the room with the person who supposedly loves you and feel like you are alone and lonely. Yep, been there done that and not gonna do it again. :)

I also know that going through the holiday with someone who is half sour doesn't feel good either, but people still hold on and hold on for dear life.

But if a couple is experiencing problems in their relationship, should they tough it out and maybe the Holiday spirit will bring them closer? Or should they just call it quits and start rebuilding lives apart -- right away?

After all, that would be one less gift that one would have to think about purchasing....and ummmm likely one of the more expensive gifts LOLOLOLOL

Why is it so hard to break up during the holiday season? Tell me.

He Said He Has A Killer In His Family

2010-12-06T09:44:00.006-05:00

It's really hard out here on a pimp or a pimpette :)

I have heard about some of my friends dating nightmares but I have one for the storybook.

On a date with a fella, yadda yadda. I ask for spelling of his last name so that I can Google him...Yep, was gonna Google him and look for him on Facebook. He responds in the creepiest tone, "What are you looking for? What do you want to know?"

You know when the cartoon character gets scared and its hair stand up...well, that was me.

I responded, "I was looking for you on Facebook and couldn't find you."

He responded, "I'm not on Facebook."

All the while, I'm feeling a bit uncomfy but I maintain my composure. Yea, that's right I'm cool. I'm cool.

Well, he reveals to me A LOT, yes A LOT about his family's history. His mom was a drug addict. The man he thought was his father wasn't his father.

While he's talking, I'm trying not to look like I want to get up out of my seat and run for the door. I'm also wondering if my light complexion has turned ghost white.

He then hits me with the my great grandfather killed my great grandmother and her father.

Oh dayuuum!

At that point, I couldn't hide the way I was feeling. I was freaked out. I was scared. I wanted this little afternoon date to be over.

Shoot, I come from a good family. We have a few dysfunctionalities but for the most part, it's all good. Two-parent household. All children finished high school. Two finished college. No teen pregnancies. No sexual abuse craziness. No jail birds...a drunk or two tho LOLOLOLO

But fo real fo real, my family is pretty good so to have all that dumped on me was just overwhelming.

It was much tooo much toooo much for me to handle.

Soooooo, when do you reveal some of the the not so positive or negative things about you or your family to a suitor? Early on and give them a chance to flee early or later on when more of a relationship has been formed? Tell me.

What Does Having An Extra Toothbrush Mean?

2010-10-05T09:47:00.003-04:00

He appeared in the doorway and flashed a handsome grin.

My naked body was lying there on what felt like a pillowtop mattress and 500-count or more powder blue sheets. The bedroom was immaculate. Cherrywood wine furniture and dashes of powder blue, beige and cream for the walls, the paintings and the chaise lounge.

Oh, I love that chaise lounge and the things this man named, Chad, did to me last night.

Now, he is standing there, and even in his flaccid state, looking quite sexy. He doesn't have a chiseled abdomen but it's not like Big Belly Mel. He is like 7 months pregnant. I smile but before I laugh at the picture of that huge belly in my mind
Chad grabs my attention by pretending to clear his throat.

"Yes, Mr. Chad."

"You seemed deep in thought."

"No, only thinking about you."

"Here is the toothbrush I promised," he said as he raised his hand.

Soooooooo, if a guy or girl offers you a toothbrush the morning after, would you make any assumptions? And if so what type of assumptions would you make?

He Kept Having To Use The Broom

2010-09-23T11:00:00.001-04:00

I went on a walk through the park with a nice guy. I like walks in the park. It provides a chance to chitty chat, enjoy nature and get some exercise.

The guy was handsome. After talking with him awhile I learned that he was extremely family-oriented. I loved it! He also didn't have any children and I loved that too. It's not that common that you find a nice looking guy, who is family oriented and doesn't have about three or four children....soooooo I was excited.

And the topper...I was attracted to him.

Butttt errrrrr uhhhhh, he kept having to use the bathroom.

The first time, he told me that he had a bunch of water that day so I was like OK. Heck, I need to drink more water myself, I thought.

Then he had to use it again, and again and again and again.

We went on a 45 minute walk and I think this joker had to use the bathroom 4, yes, 4 times.

At first, I would lag behind, waiting on him to take care of his business. Heck after the second time, I kept it movin'. I actually was getting a bit irritated and thinking WTFudge.

By the end of the walk, I was disgusted, disgusted, deeeeeeegusted!!!

And I even told him at a subsequent meeting that maybe he needed to get his prostate checked cause he was using the brooom tooo dayuuuuum much.

Was I wrong? LOLOLOLOL

What Is Unforgiveable In A Relationship?

2010-09-22T09:22:00.002-04:00

At a recent book club meeting while discussing a book on relationships, it was asked by one of the members -- What is unforgiveable?

The book dealt with the ups and downs of relationships and sisterhood. It was kinda along the lines of what I want to do with my book but not quite.

Any who.

There was one character who was dealing with an A-Hole of a man. Yea, he was a supa dupa assola --- period. Mean, nasty and a cheater.

Then there was another character who was dealing with a guy who didn't even seem to be real. He was always very nice and sexed her to def LOLOLOL Is that real? Well, maybe that's a topic for another day.

Then there was a character who didn't have a fella she liked. She liked evbody LOLOLOL

And then the last chickypoo was married to a man and they didn't really have a lot of sex. They were each other's firsts, but he was having an affair 3 of the 8 years of their marriage and actually had gotten his lover pregnant. And she was carrying twins. Wild stuff!

So the question was asked. What is unforgiveable? Is is abuse -- verbal, emotional, mental? Is it cheating and he gets the other woman pregnant? What is unforgiveable?

I sat back in a very comfy brown leather chair and pondered the question. I took a sip of my chardy chard and blurted out my answer.

There is nothing that a person can say is truly unforgiveable because marriage is about continually forgiving, having a forgiving heart. And then as a Christian, there's no way that you can walk through life saying this is unforgiveable or that is unforgiveable if you want to get into heaven. And then on top of that, if you don't forgive you will be stuck in a bad place, not living, not open to what the future holds in the next relationship.

The ladies in the room, all of whom are my friends, agreed for the most part but took the conversation in all different directions.

Soooooo is there anything that is unforgiveable in a relationship?

She Stole His TV After An Arugment

2010-09-20T08:55:00.002-04:00

I love, love, love to hear people talk about relationships.

Sooooo when I was recently involved in a conversation about relationships, one of my family members interjected something that caught me completely offguard.

We were jibba jabbin about whether women should wear lingerie or not; whether women should wear house dresses that are not that attractive in the house; some of the very nice things we had done for men in our lives and then wham! The conversation took a curve and someone in the room said, "I stole his TV after an argument."

Well, it wasn't really that abrupt. We were talking about how sometimes men do not show that they appreciate the things that women do for them.

But errrr uh, when this comment was made, I was like woooooo ummmm wow! Why did you take his TV?

She never said that she purchased it. She just kept saying because we got into a really bad argument so I took it.

The thought of it seemed to bring the fury back to her eyes. Her lip was a bit twisted and poked out with soooooo much attitude, I didn't push her for a reason.

She thought she was in the right then and still soooooooo who am I to judge. LOLOLOL

But I really was thinking, this girl is off her rockers. She stole a TV...Who does that? A danggone TV!!!!!

Any who.

What is the craziest thing that you have heard someone do after an argument in a relationship? And if you want to be bold, what is the craziest thing that you have ever done?

I swung a golf club.

I Regret I Slept With Him

2010-09-17T10:37:00.004-04:00

I am not into living life with regrets. To me, it's a way to beat up on yourself unnecessarily, and I don't beat up on myself.

I also think that all of life experiences -- good and bad -- made me the smart, strong, intelligent, beautiful, foxxaaaay woman I am today LOLOLOL (Yea, I do not have a problem with self-esteem!)

Any who.

I was thinking the other day about the little boys, young men and grown men who have come in and out of my life over my years. I'm approaching a birthday so I've been reflecting on this thing called life.

I thought back to the first boy I ever kissed. I was standing near a tree on MLK Boulevard and he was walking me home and we kissed. Until that moment, I had kissed a mirror and a pillow. I used to kiss my hand LOLOLOL Criiiiizaaaay, right? But that was what people my age were doing -- practicing.

Then I thought about my very first, ya know, sexual encounter. I was scared to death OOOOOOOK.

I was a late bloomer and other girls had talked about it around me. They made it seem like fun, but I never gave in to the temptation until I thought I was ready. I didn't cave to peer pressure at all. :)

And then I started thinking about the guys who I have given an opportunity to take one of my precious jewels out of my jewelry box. LOLOLOL

And I'm not going to lie. I was thinking...nah, I should not have. LOLOLOL

Yea, I said I don't live with regrets, but errrr uhhhh. LOLOLOL

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your selection of diggity mates?

I May Be A Lil Shallow.....

2010-09-16T08:52:00.003-04:00

One of my friends pointed out an article about Lisa Raye that discussed how she is not interested in dating men without money.

Interestingly, she dated and married a man who was a prince or whatever he was who appeared to have plenty of cash. Problem was that he didn't have any money. In fact, he was broke.

Now, she is crystal clear in her desires ummmm a man with money. :)

And what girl wouldn't want that. Is there anyone who would say sure give me a broke a$$ man...I don't think soooooo.

Any who.

After I thought about her position, I was like who am I to judge her. If she doesn't want to date a man who doesn't make a certain amount of money, good for her.

Plus, if she dates someone with less AGAIN she could be setting herself up for a huge loss...as in getting involved with someone who wants to take what she has. And boi oh boi oh boi, there are a lot of men who are sooooo looooserish (yea, I made that up) that it is not funny. Girls who want to take a guy to the cleaners are gold diggers. Guys who want to use up a woman for everything she has are looooserish. Get it. Got it! Good! :)

My friend, however, called her shallow.

Hmmmmmm Really? Is that shallow?

Then I sorta turned inward as I tend to do when relationship shiggidy comes up. I'm an ever-evolving being in this area. I don't really want to date anybody beneath me. Yep, I said it...BEEEENEEEEEAAAATH me! As for income, it would be nice to have it comparable. The reality is money causes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lot of problems in relationships so if salaries were comparable --- this to me would be the beginning of a recipe for success.

But forget the finances for just a second. I thought about how I have tried to date a few shorter fellas and fatter fellas and -- ooooooh myyyyyyy -- close but no cigar. Nah, let me stop lying before my pants catch fire. It's not even close to an attraction with a shorter man and definitely not a fatter man.

Soooooooo am I shallow because I have decided that I am not going to date any Fatsooooooos and Shorty Macks!!!!???

One guy told me he used to play football so that was why he was on the overweight lover side ... ummmmmmm nooo, you are fat! lololololol

But seriously, am I shallow? Tell me and don't forget to be honest :)

When Your Fam, Friends Call Him Ugly

2010-09-13T23:34:00.002-04:00

The relationship is over, history, done dadda, good riddance, vamuse, ghost and people are coming out of the woodwork with commentary.

Well, a few like my bff, cousin and nephew didn't reserve their feelings, but others weren't sooooooo blunt.

I remember my dad saying, "There's nothing wrong with that young man as long as he is good to you."

Heck, he was tall, he prayed, brownskinned. And at the time the jury was out on Tina Turner's tune -- "You Bettah Be Good To Me." LOLOLOL

But seriously, he was nice. And he was ahright looking to me too, but people who love me and have found out that we are no longer together feel very comfortable calling him anything but attractive.

What the heckypoo?

This was not a new occurrence to me surprisingly. After I got my divorce, I had many people make comments and heck I couldn't argue with them for the most part.

But my ex-husband was not ugly LOLOLOLOL

Any who.

Someone jumped out the bag on me this weekend and said, "Yea, I was trying to figure out what you saw in him?"

I was like wowsa. He wasn't that danggone ugly!!

Sooooo, does it matter if your family members and friends think the person you are dating is unattractive? And would you be offended if they told you that thought your new boo was UNsexy? LOLOLOLOL

Arguing Is For The Birds

2010-09-08T10:23:00.002-04:00

One day, I was standing in the yard and I heard -- well I was ear hustling -- a man tell a woman in the house across the street that she was far from a woman.

Yea, they were arguing and it was getting really nasty. He called her some very uncool, un-nice things. And she was no lightweight in the war of words. She was hitting below the belt, nah, she was cutting dude off at the ankles.

They were tossing low blows so much that it saddened me. People get into arguments all the time, but I just couldn't for the life of me understand why they goin at each other's throat the way they were. Well, I do understand. Hurt people, hurt people.

This wasn't the first time I heard them arguing either. In fact, he was hauled off by the police a time or two last year.

At that time, she hurled profanity and don't you come back and this and that. Whew!

But he was back and I knew he was back because of the argument and also he drives a white van. So whenever I see the white van, I know there's gonna be trouble. They are going to argue.

I've argued like a nut before, but I'm sooooo thankful that I do not care to argue with anyone like that again --- man, woman, dog, cat or rat, nobody!!!

I hate to hear couples arguing, but as I hear them argue I grow curious. I wonder why do they keep coming back to each other? How many nasty, profanity-laced arguments does it take to realize that two people are just not a good match?

Do You Perform Background Checks On Mates?

2010-09-07T09:14:00.002-04:00

You never know what you are getting into when you meet someone new.

Sometimes, people tell you they are single when in fact they are married 10-plus years.

Sometimes, people say that they do one thing for a living when in fact they do something else.

Sometimes, people may say that they own their home when in fact they rent.

Sometimes, people may say that they have one child when they have several.

All of the aforementioned scenarios are real. The names have been changed to people to protect the identities of supa liars...LOLOLOLOL

But seriously, people do tell big, bodacious lies as they enter into new relationships.

Who knows why people do it.

Once a guy asked me if I had done a background check on him. Heck, it hadn't entered my mind to plug his name into the county Web site to find out if he had a record or had been married or had property or any of that shiggidy. But I think it's more common than people will admit.

According to the Diggity Institute, 3 out of 5 women do background checks on men when they first meet. LOLOLOLOL

I have gotten a little curious about a couple guys I have dated, but I haven't done background checks. Usually when I think something is up, I usually check on out as in vanish, leave the scene, get gone, bye bye :)

But would you conduct a background check if you were suspicious of a prospective mate? What would you be looking for?

Is Sexting Cheating On Your Mate?

2010-09-03T21:35:00.001-04:00

There's nothing wrong with getting a hot, steamy, sexy text message, right?

I heard a story about two gfs who were having drinks together. One girl asks to use the other girl's phone and she steps outside the bar because of the music and noise.

When she steps back in with the phone, she confronts the other chickypoo about sleeping with her boyfriend.

Turns out, she saw her boyfriend's number and a few steamy text messages.

They got into a bad fight that involved drunken jibberish, a lot of tears and pulling hair. Hilllllllarious! OOOOOOOK!

Any who.

In this scenario as my bionic ears got more bionic, LOLOLOL, I think the chickypoo was sleeping with the other chickypoos fella.

But is a sexy text message enough proof that your girl or guy is tip toeing around on you?

Is sexting cheating?

I Say No To Dating Toothless Men!

2010-08-02T19:33:00.004-04:00

I had a very busy weekend, but in between fitting in a little work and play I got hit on by a couple guys.

First up, was a guy who kept trying to get my attention from afar. Yea, I saw him but nope, not, negative. He had on a two-piece white outfit and frankly, he looked like he had just left an all-white party in the middle of a Saturday afternoon.

I'm a mouth and nice teeth (teefus) person so I pay very close attention to teefus and wowsa, he had a party going on and his teefus were body rockin. LOLOLOL

But he was shit sharp! Or at least he thought he was. White cappy cap and all. Gooooone boi! In the opposite direction.

Any who.

He was just getting ready to go in for the kill and I found somebody to hand a flier to -- for work -- and I intentionally struck up a conversation because oooooweee ooooowee there was no way no way I would even consider a guy like that. He just wasn't my type.

Whew! I swung the sweat off my brow and kept it moving.

Second up, was a guy who I am sure had fire coming from his mouf cause his breath was sooooo on fiyah. Yikes!

He was jibba jabbin and jibba jabbin. I thought he was a friend of my gf's fam, but come to find out he was just a straggler who managed to hustle up on a couple drinks and some food. All the while, I thought he was a friend of the fam, which is the only reason I was even being cordial.

But when I got ready to make my exit, he came walking behind me saying he wanted to get to know me better. Huh! Exsqueeeeze me. Your shoes are run over, waaaaaay over, that cap is supa dirty and you are missing at least three teefus.

Heck, I ain't tryin to act like I'm Miss America but come da fudge on. I'm not Miss Toothless America either. LOLOLOL

Then one guy told me that there is a shortage of good black women, dude, dude, dude, there is a shortage of good black men. OK, forget good -- let's start with a mouth full of teefus. Is that too much to ask for?

*on the floor, gasping for air LOLOLOLOL

Meeting A Married Man

2010-07-26T08:48:00.005-04:00

I did something really, really, really stoooooopid over the weekend.

I was at a party. One of my gfs introduces me to a guy that she is dating. I say hello, how are you? But we have met!

I'm cheesy cheesin, but no one else is smiling. No one.

My gf tries to play it cool but it is clear that the fella is not amused. I have not met him.

Actually, I have met another guy who looks very similar.

Dayuuuuum!

Once I realized that I have made a major error, I feel bad. Well, I feel awful. I'm hoping that my foot-inserted-into-mouf move does not ruin her evening.

But then I find out that the fella is married and I feel a little bit better because how in the heckypoo can he be made at who he prolly thinks is her big mouf girlfriend (ME!) if he has a wife at home.

My other gf turns to me and says, "Girl, if people trying to cheat, they cannot bring people around you."

Ummmm, maybe not. LOLOLOLO

This was clearly a blunder, a I-have-fallen-and-I-can't-get-up move.

The next day, I found out that the evening was not disastrous for her and I was happy that I didn't ruin her evening.

But have you ever totally made a blunder when meeting someone and given away cheating secrets LOLOLOL? Has this ever happened to you or have you ever done this to someone? Tell me.

Do You Write Love Notes?

2010-07-21T09:47:00.003-04:00

If you are in a loving relationship or want your relationship to be better, you should try writing a note or poem to express your feelings.

Well, at least I think so. Call me corny, corndog, cornish hen -- whatever, but I think it is sweet! LOLOLOL

I imagine waking up after a romantic evening with a love note on my pillow left by a thoughtful partner/lover/friend. And oh, yea and the scent of his cologne lingers.

Yea, I would love that, but actually that is what just happened to one of the characters in "Choosing Mr. Wrong." She loved it!

Have I told you
that you mean a lot to me?

Have I told you
that you're my world?

Have I told you
that without you I'm nothing?

Have I told you
that I love you?

Here's a love poem written by a poet who refers to him or herself as "Just A Pretty Face." It's simple, but I love it!

Do you write love notes or poems for your mate? Why or why not?

He Can't Afford To Take Me Out?

2010-07-20T09:39:00.003-04:00

My mind is racing. Heck, I feel like one side of my brain is in competition with the other half. The logical side says, "Go on about your business!" but the emotional side says, "Give him a chance!"

The conversation I had with Chris last night really makes me think he doesn't want to be seen in public with me. I have picked up a little weight. Well, I have actually picked up 20 pounds.

His conversation about falling on a tough financial situation threw me for a loop. We went out a few times when we first met but then it came to a screeeeeeching halt. I kinda figured his money was funny. Shit, who am I fooling? I knew his money was a full-fledge comedy act that had people doubling over with laughter in the crowd.

I may not feel as confident about my appearance after gaining 20 pounds, but I should be able to attract a man who wants to date me, treat me, take me out on the town.

Shit! He probably wants to just have me in his life for sex, but I have done the friends-with-boners all the time routine, and I really want something more.

More of what is the question, though.

More time, more sex, more money, more love, more patience, more understanding, more compassion. I just want more!

If Chris doesn't have the money to take me out, my financial situation allows me the wiggle room to pick up the tab.

I've only known him a month and I sure don't want to send the wrong message. I don't want to be the masculine energy in the relationship. I don't wanna have to pick up the tab ALL the dayuuuum time.

I'm attracted to him, and I am definitely not attracted to most of the men I meet.

Buzzzzz! Buzzzzz! Ding! Dong! Buzzzz! Buzzzz!

The alarm on my cell phone invades my deep thoughts. I try to give myself 10 minutes to sit and think with myself daily. That's what my high-priced therapist told me to do.

As I walk over to the mirror and greet my reflection, I am not feeling the best about my decision, but it is what it is...I am not getting any younger sooooo.....

I am going to give it at least 30 days. For now, I will pick up the tab, but I sure hope he gets a job soon.

_______________________________

This was written in the voice of Denae, a character in "Choosing Mr. Wrong."

Good Place To Meet Men? Ummm Strip Club

2010-07-19T08:45:00.002-04:00

I did something this past weekend that I have never done before in my life. I went out by myself.

Don't get me wrong. I will go to a movie and even to dinner by myself and to destress. In fact, I did a lot of going to dinner by myself at the end of my marriage because I needed to think and I didn't need anybody in my ear telling me nuttin.

Any who.

I had been invited to a birthday party and I have made a vow to myself to be more diligent in the promises that I make. When I got the text, I shot one right back --"I will be there!"

My friend's party was at a place that I felt comfortable, so it wasn't the neighborhood that made me uneasy, heck, queasy. It was the thought of going to a party by myself. Here I am a 38 year old woman and I have never gone out by myself. Wow!

But when I set foot out of my car, I put my game face on. Heck, nuttin to it but to do it, is the mentality I took.

And actually it was OK. When I got there I saw one of my high school classmates who I hadn't seen in a long time so we jacked our jaws most of the evening. I also knew other people at the party so I chat a tatted with them as well. Easy as 1-2-3.

But then when I told other women that I had gone out by myself, they told me they do it all the time. Well, I guess I'm a late bloomer. That shiggidy was a first for me. I was a going-out-by-myself-virgin until Friday! LOLOLOLOLOL

Most people told me they prefer to go out alone. OOOOOKKK, but not me!

Then one girl told me I should go to a strip club. I respond, "By myself, hecky naw!"

She shoots back, "No, not by yourself, but with another girlfriend."

I give her a long blank stare because I'm waiting on the 5 Ws -- who, what, when, where, and most importantly why?

"It's a great place to meet men!" she says.

Wowsa, I think. Here I am a going-out-for-the first-time by myself virgin and she is suggesting that I go to a strip club to meet men.

Ummmm, what happened to the grocery store or library or park? LOLOLOLOL

It may be a fun adventure and hopefully before I'm tooo old and fuddy duddy, I will muster up enough nerves to do it.

But is the strip club a good place to meet men?

Foreplay Is For Animals

2010-07-16T21:06:00.002-04:00

I got the biggest tickle after reading an article about how six animals indulge in foreplay, fo real, fo real.

It was National Geographic at its best in my mind as I read about how the Mexican Molly fish grows a mustache and performs oral sex on female fishypoos. LOLOLOLOL

No seriously, I was laffin so hard that I had tears in my eyes.

Then there was the bat. I guess 70 percent of female bats perform oral sex on the male bats. When I saw 70 percent, I wondered what percent of human females perform?

Then, I read about the gorilla having a 2-inch DI. No lie, the article said 2 inches. I know a lot of girls who would be so upset about 2 inches that they would cry LOLOLOLOL

But the male gorilla likes oral sex and sets out to find the clitoris on the female gorilla. And they even finger and fondle. Wowsa.

Then I read about slugs and hyenas and the Bonobos that are considered natural freaks. Ummmm, they just like to do it to be doing it. They are into french kissing and handjobs, too.

After reading that I was doubled over laffin. Animals give handjobs!? Wowsa.

If you wanna read this article for yourself go to www.thefrisky.com. It is one of my fave Web sites.

These animals seem to put a lot of emphasis into oral sex. Do humans put enough focus on foreplay? How long should foreplay last?

Summertime Equals Summer Flings

2010-07-14T22:17:00.002-04:00

It is summertime and love is in the air. Peeps are scantily clad so even if love isn't in the air at least there's lust. LOLOLOL

But now that summer is almost over, yea summer is just about over, are you involved in a summer fling or is it the real thing?

The signs are for the ladies, but fellas, don't bail just yet. Read them and let us know if the signs are accurate.

The information was taken from www.datingwithoutdrama.com.

Top 10 Signs

10 ..... Being with him means nonstop f-u-n.
(This, unfortunately, is *not* reality.)

9 ..... You spend every waking moment together.
(There's no way you can realistically keep this
eat-sleep-and-breathe-each-other schedule going.
You're bound to burn out on each other sooner
or later.)

8 ..... When you have a bad day, you hide it from him
because you don't want to be a "buzz kill."

7 ..... You spend more time making out than actually talking.

6 ..... When you *do* talk, it's never about real life (your
careers, families, or goals and dreams for the future).
In fact, your conversations don't go much deeper than,
"Should we hit the beach or the pool?" and "Mojitos
or Margaritas?"

5 ..... He forgets your last name.

4 ..... He's got flings going on with other women at the same
time, and makes no apologies for it.

3 ..... He has to leave in six weeks for college/the military/
his home country.

2 ..... You invite him to be your guest at a work function in
October, and he says he's all booked up already.

1 ..... After your romantic picnic on Labor Day, he says,
"Well, this has been fun. Hopefully I'll see you
around!"

Are you involved in a summer fling? If so, what was a sign?

Would You Befriend Your Mate's Side Piece?

2010-07-12T08:34:00.006-04:00

One day, he walked into our bedroom and told me he was walking out of my life. He had found someone else. As he turned to walk out the door, my craving to find out why would become a mission.

I was obsessed. In every move I made, I was seeking to find out more information about her.

Why did he choose to be with her? What did she have that I didn't? How was she better? Was her sex better? Did she look better? Did she cook better?

In pursuit of the answers to my questions, I befriended her. I knew it wasn't necessarily the right thing to do, but my emotions had gotten the best of me and I was consumed with finding out why, why, why?

This is part of a story that was recently related to me and that I plan to use in Choosing Mr. Wrong.

It seems like craziness to me because I have never looked at the reason people cheat as having anything to do with their mate and how freaky he or she is in the bedroom. I've always seen it as deeper issues. Self-esteem issues, machoism, attention-seeking craziness.

Any who.

Do you know of anyone who has been cheated on who has befriended the person with whom his or her mate is cheating with? Why did they do it?

Balance Your Checkbook To Climax

2010-07-07T21:22:00.005-04:00

Hello CMW family! After blogging for more than a year, I have finally run low on topics to discuss.

Below is a male's perspective. It's not just any ole male. He is a financial advisor, so yep, we are talkin' about money and sex. Welcome Marcus as a contributing blogger to Choosing Mr. Wrong. Oh, it's good. Read it and enjoy!
____________________________________________________
Let’s be real.

We are in a recession and like most people your cash is tight and your money is funny and everyone knows if your not pleasing your woman financially she won't be pleasing you sexually.

We see the commercials for "Extends" and the little blue miracle pill that will help you satisfy your women. And if you're a night owl like me you’ve come across those infomercials selling those bulky pleasure pistols.

Women have evolved from burning their bra's in the women's liberation movement to pole dancing classes to please her man. Pleasure objects and pills which center all around bringing her to the ultimate climax. It's all about the woman!

But a prudent and shrewd way of making her yell your name is to manage the checkbook. Yes, let me repeat manage the checkbook!

The number one cause of stress in any relationship is money or I should say the mismanagement of it.

Let's face it when the money "ain't right" your women's libido will drop lower then the current housing market. Guys a sure way to get your woman to climax is to watch the bottom line, yes the duckets, mulah, denaro, and cheese.

Everybody has a checking account but having money left over at the end of the month will be a sure fire way to rev up your sex life. Extra money means extra lovin, extra money means that surprise present for your woman like a day at the spa for her and sexy lingerie for you lol.

Here are a few tips that will help you manage your household finances; Couples make the mistake of having separate checking accounts (you have your money and I have my money) separating your money is like getting a $500 water bill for a leaking toilet.

It's a sure fire way to have leaks in your pocketbook which creates tension in the bedroom. Corporations have Chief Financial Officers, well your household should have one also, and one person must handle the "cash."

An easy system to use will be one general account for all of the household expenditures, two accounts for each person's monthly allowance and a savings account from a separate bank and no bank cards so you can't have easy access to your savings. This system creates better communications between couples because now there's accountability. You are forced to make financial decisions together.

You will amazingly have more money left over at the end of the month better communication and less stress which means better orgasms. Money makes the world go around so let's be proactive and not reactive on how we manage it.

Money no longer has to be the "root of all evil."

Marcus Greene, MBA
Financial Advisor
Greene Capital Investors, LLC

Yellin, Screamin Does Not Equal Good Sex

2010-07-01T09:13:00.004-04:00

I am picking myself up off the floor. No, really, I am.

I read about another study that said 37 percent of couples over 45 don't even do it.

Huh!? What?

This is amazing to me I cannot believe that people at the age of 45, 45, 45 have just said forget it, no diggity for me.

I thought like water and food and being touched that people needed sex. Isn't that part of being an animal?

I am befuddled.

And then I kept reading and stumbled upon information about how women fake arousal to manipulate men. Wow!

And how women who scream and yell and make all that noise want it to be over.

While I love Trey Songz hit "Your Neighbors Know My Name," I don't really get all that yelling and screaming.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, in my humble opinion, is better than a volume right above a whisper. All dat screamin and yellin would make me say, "Shut Da Fudge Up!" if I were a guy.

Any who.

Is yelling and screaming a turnon or turnoff?

I Want Someone On Fire For Me!

2010-06-30T03:57:00.001-04:00

"Fire and Desire" -- Remember that song by Teena Marie and Rick James.

In a nutshell, it talks about how a man used to be cold-blooded and mean and cruel but then this woman turned on his fire. She showed him what a love could do.

Well, this song came to mind while having a conversation with a guy friend. He was telling me how when two people are in a serious relationship, one shouldn't have to ask the other for diggity or kisses.

I agree.

Then he shared with me how he has been in a situation before when he had to ask and how he never wants to be in that type of drought again.

I couldn't agree more.

He continued and said that he wants a woman who is on fiyah for him.

This is when it got really goood to me. I truly agree.

After all, who wants to be with a person who is only lukewarm on you. It's sorta like that I can take it or leave it. Take you or leave you. Coma Ci Coma Sa --- I don't even know if that is the spelling. LOLOLOL

Any who.

While love and respect and admiration and all that good stuff feels good in a relationship, I would have to say that being desired is HUGE ummmmm Humungous, Gigantic, XXXX-Large and Supersized.

And I am not talking about lust. I am talking about someone who wants to talk to you. Someone who appreciates the things you do. Someone who wants to spend time with you. Someone who thinks of you. Someone who will drop what she or he is doing to do it to you! LOLOLOL

On Fire with Desire for you!

His conversation made me think of another conversation I had when I told some peeps that if you don't really wanna have diggity with your mate, you may not like him or her.

If his or her breathing or coughing or snorting or ugly feet or dark knuckles or dirty ears or any of those little things get on your nerves and you don't really need to be with that person. LOLOLOLOL

All that keeps you from craving him or her like they deserve to be craved, so get out the way and make room for Mr. Cough A Lot, Or Ms. Ugly Feet to get the person in their life that they truly deserve LOLOLOLOL

Plus, why would you waste your time with a person and you are not on fiyah for him or her? Or is being desired important to you? How important on a scale from 1 to 10.

Women Get Pink Balls, Fo Real, Fo Real

2010-06-29T09:49:00.003-04:00

Just about every woman has been hit with this line, "You are giving me blue balls."

I heard it a lot as a teenager. ;)

So when I stumbled across information about women getting pink balls, I read the article feverishly.

Pink balls is when a woman is right dere, right dere, right dere and then he climaxes and she is left with a very empty feeling. LOLOLOL

Although I'm laffin, it's not funny at all. Talk about a let down.

But because this is seriously a problem in bedrooms, medical experts had to give it a name.

Interestingly, I have heard that it takes a woman about 15 to 20 minutes to climax while it takes a man 5 to 7 minutes. Whew, there is really something wrong with that timing.

Essentially, if a woman isn't rushing, she is likely gonna miss an opportunity unless she has found someone who waits. LOLOLOLOL

Premature ejaculators don't stand a chance. They are handing out pink balls like a gift.

With blue and pink balls, the same physical changes take place. Blood rushes to the genital areas, causing arousal. If the arousal is not released, ummm if no climax is met, the blood just stays there, and this may cause pain.

Soooooo the next time a man complains about blue balls or not getting enough, ladies, you can have a gripe, if you are not being satisfied. Tell him, "You give me pink balls!"

Fellas, can a man's ego handle that he has given a woman pink balls? Ladies, would you tell your guy that he is handing out pink balls just tooo much, tooo much?

Have You Ever Heard Of Obligatory Sex?

2010-06-28T09:45:00.003-04:00

I have a theory.

Because the brain is the main sex organ, I think, well heck I know, that the way a person is treated or spoken to can decrease sexual desire.

Namecalling and talking mean can send desire plummeting --- ERRRRRRRR Boooom!

After all, who wants to really do the do with a person who is talking crazy to them or treating them terribly?

Any who.

With that said, I think that someone can increase your sex drive. Hmmmmm. If someone is treating you really nice and special, you will crave them, you will desire them, you will want them.

This theory is based on a conversation that I had with several women. Some say that the desire to partake just isn't there like it used to be.

Some say I did it so much when I was younger, I can take it or leave it?

My eyes get wide, and to myself I say, "Huh? Really? What? Is there a shelf life on desire?"

I have several opinions about how medication can affect one's drive -- women and men. Being on medication has side effects and sometimes popping pills for whatever ails you can kill your sex drive.

When I tell people this, they usually look at me like I'm saying something that isn't true. It's true. Ask any doctor or heck read the fine print for side effects of medication.

But in the midst of this conversation about sex, medication and desire, a few ladies admit that if their significant other brings flowers or plans a romantic evening that they then feel obligated to perform. Wowsa Yowsa!

This time, my mouf opens and I verbalize, "Are you kidding me? If you get flowers or taken to dinner or treated really special, you just don't feel all warm and bubbly on the inside and just wanna?"

No, No, No, No, I hear resounding in the room.

I am in shock. I am in disbelief. I am glad I was not walking because I may have tripped and fallen. LOLOLOL

But my question is this: Is obligatory sex a big problem in relationships? Do people just feel obligated to indulge?

Is Kissing More Intimate Than Sex?

2010-06-25T08:05:00.004-04:00

If you caught your mate kissing someone would you be more upset than if you caught your mate in bed with someone?

Wowsa!

This was the gist of a question that I saw on Facebook the other day and it really got me to thinking. Earlier in the day, this same FB friend asked what is more intimate diggity (sex) or kissing?

Hmmmm both.... but errrr uhhh if you had to pick one which one would you pick?

Whew, that's a hard one sooooo I'll go with diggity without a condom.

While I picked diggity, I've heard a huge complaint from men and women alike about their mate having sex with them and never bothering to kiss them.

There should be a rule in bedrooms across America...kissing during diggity is mandatory, even with morning breath :) If your breath stanks, go to the dentist, brush, rinse, floss and scrape your tongue.

Any who.

Which one is more intimate -- kissing or diggity?

Guys Hurt More After Breakup

2010-06-24T08:14:00.004-04:00

Men hurt worse after a breakup.

Hmmmmm.

When I saw this headline, my eyes immediately jumped in to read about research done by the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

It said the findings are based on the fact that men do not confide in anyone about their feelings while women do. The study made it clear that men don't necessarily talk because they don't have anyone to talk to. They just don't talk.

I have to admit that I talk myself through stuff. I have a few confidantes who I definitely reach out to when I'm feeling hurt, unhappy, disgusted all dat. Heck, I do not hold too much in. I am not trying to die of a heart attack or a stroke.

Any who.

After reading the article, I immediately think about the breakups in my life. The main one that comes to my mind is my marriage. Yea, that did hurt. And then I think about a few others.

A boyfriend in high school broke up with me because I wasn't active. I remember how this really devastated me. Man, I like him sooooooooo much, but not that much LOLOLOLOL

Then there was one of my boyfriends in college that came to mind. Yea, that hurt too. Probably because we spent sooooo much time together and it was so tough trying to get acclimated to not being with him. But whew, I am sooooo happy that we broke up. What was I thinking?

Interestingly, it seems women get accused of being bitter from hurts of relationships past.

Soooooo, who do you think hurts more -- men or women -- after a breakup? Why?

Happiness Is...

2010-06-23T13:58:00.003-04:00

Happiness is one of those things that is very difficult to describe. It's sorta like you feel it when you feel it. You know it when you experience it.

Like a drug addict searching for the feeling after that first hit, I think people are constantly chasing, seeking, yearning, wanting, craving happiness.

I actually put it right up there with good diggity and we all want good diggity, right?

Any who.

Happiness is one of those things that no matter how you wanna describe it, you just can't.

I had a conversation with a guy who said, "I just want to be happy" when asking what he was looking for in a potential mate.

Hmmmmmm.

Now we all know that happiness is a compilation of stuff, but it's the stuff that makes up happiness that we cannot necessarily put our finger on. It's like a perfect recipe -- 2 teaspoons of this so if 5 teaspoons are put in ugggg. Sour taste in our mouths.

Gretchin Rubin, a best selling writer, has a book called "The Happiness Project." In the book, she writes about how she used theories and studies to help with happiness.

One ingredient of happiness she says is if you make others happy. Take the quiz at her site: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2009/05/quiz-do-you-make-other-people-happy.html

And then tell me what are some of the components of happiness for you?

Compliments Are Just Game?

2010-06-22T07:37:00.003-04:00

I have come to the conclusion that maybe I do NOT know the difference between a compliment and a guy running game on me.

Case and point. I was talking about working out with someone and a fella in the room said he wanted to meet and workout, too. Heck, I'm always happy that a black man or woman is going to workout to combat hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes, bad nutritional habits, all dat so OOOOOOK.

He asked me to put his number in my phone and call him the next time I work out. OK, no problem. I don't have a problemo with that. I grab my phone and tap, tap, tap it's in. I say, "Well, it's going to be really hot this week so I may not workout until Wednesday and probably early in the morning."

He says, "OK, but just call me."

Right then, right then at that very moment I realized that dude did not want to work out. He wanted me to call me.

Duh.

Clearly, he ran game on me.

But as I described this scenario and a few others to a male relative, he reveals to me that men run game all the time.

OOOOOOK, meez know that!

But then he says that a compliment is even game.

Huh! What you talkin' bout Willis?

A compliment, really, a compliment!

I tell him "Nah, game to me is when a guy is trying to get something. Get your attention. Get you into bed. Get into your head."

He says, "Exactly!"

So we go back and forth on game vs. compliment. He gives me examples and then I give him examples.

"I love to see you walk in heels." Ummm, compliment but game to someone who really loves.

"I want us to have a baby together." Ummm, game, and of course I knew this.

"I miss your pretty face already." Ummm, game! Heck, I thought it was a compliment.

Any sort of pickup line of course is game. OK, OK, OK, I get that but then he says that a man sometimes may even say something that he does NOT even mean just to make a woman smile with the thought that possibly he can get her in bed.

Well, Dayuuum! That's just a shame.

Soooooo, do you know the difference between compliments and game? Is there a difference to you? What is it?

Most Admired Body Part Is....

2010-06-21T10:25:00.003-04:00

I have a new phone -- the Drooooooid. LOLOLOL

Soooo with the new phone I have downloaded a few apps, the free ones of course. :)

I downloaded a diet app, a bible app, an inspirational saying app, a horoscope app and a sex facts app and a few more. Yea, a variety but I'm a multilayered person.

Any who.

I spend a lot of time just learning little tid bits. So I started clicking through the sex facts app and I stumble across a fact that read: A man's butt is most admired by females. Hmmmmmmm

I kept clicking and clicking, click, click, click...I was hoping that there would be one on the body part most admired by men but no such luck, at least not yet.

But then I started thinking about my behavior. Do I really check out fellas derrieres a lot?

Yea, I check it out but I think my eyes zoom in on arms. I love nice arms.

And heck, I would have thought that the buttocks would be the most admired body part by men.... well, either that or boobies.

And although you know that the bootie is the most admired body part on a man, would you have thought that? What would you have said is the most admired body part by men and women?

Money, Not Cheating No. 1 Reason For Divorce

2010-06-17T17:18:00.002-04:00

Today, this very day 10 years ago, I got married but errrr uhhh I am divorced.

I will never forget 617. Heck, sometimes I even play it in the lottery and as I hand the cashier the money I am thinking mama need a new pair of shoes and then I pop my fingers like a real gambler LOLOLOL

Any who.

This is the second anniversary, and it's not really an anniversary, maybe a commemoration. I dunno. But it is the second of whatever it is that I have had since my divorce.

And I just wanna say whoever said time heals all wounds ain't never lied. :) He or she deserves a statue in front of all divorce courts in the country.

Interestingly, people still want to know why I got a divorce and ummmmm nonna ya! LOLOLOL No, really it is no one's business.

Quite frankly, I get a bit funky, nasty, irritated when people who really don't know me think that they can ask me my business.

One old dude had the nerves to tell me recently if it was over another woman you should have forgiven him. I looked at him like he had two heads. First, I am a trained journalist so I recognize that essentially that is a question and second, why, oh why do you think I want to tell you anything about my marriage or my divorce!!!! UGGGG

Any who.

I don't understand why people assume that most marriages break up over infidelity. There are several reasons people cannot make it. Heck, one of my other divorcee friends told me he thinks that relationships are only meant for a season, but I'm going to blog about that another day.

But the No. 1 reason people get divorced is MONEY, NOT CHEATING!

The other top reasons for divorce:

Infidelity.

Poor communication

Change in priorities. This can be caused by having kids or due to one's job, big things.

Lack of commitment to the marriage.

Sexual problems.

Addictions

Failed expectations of your spouse (believing one is a super hero or that he/she can fix or be everything to or for you)

Physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

Dere it is!

I Don't Want To Be A Nurse Wife

2010-06-16T09:36:00.003-04:00

There are some things that I just have to accept about myself. I've said it before and I will say it again. I am what I am what I am.

Soooo with that said, I am no longer going to apologize for feeling the way I do about dating men who don't take care of themselves and end up with diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol.

Now don't get me wrong, if I am already with a person, I guess I will have to say OOOOOK begrudgingly, yep begrudingly. But if I can help it I don't want to talk to, date, spend time, have a situation or a relationship with someone who is taking medication.

These medications are known to affect the DI, but even more than that I don't want to spend my wonderful 40s, although I am not there yet, 50s or 60s trying to take care of someone who didn't or doesn't want to exercise or eat right to stave off some illnesses.

I have put forth an effort to try to take care of myself so I expect the same in a potential life partner, period.

Soooo there are a lot of things to think about when dating and seeking a potential life mate. Am I physical attracted to him? What is her credit score? Does he have a relationship with Christ? What is her level of education? Does she know how to cook? Is the diggity good and all dat...Where do you rank health when dating?

Better To Have Loved And Lost Or Not Loved?

2010-06-15T11:07:00.004-04:00

When men fall in love I think it is a totally different experience than when a woman falls in love.

Well, at least the after effect is different. Women, I think, are more likely to desire love again. For fellas, I am not so sure. It seems like they are wounded birds forever.

One fella told that he was completely bare, stripped down and vulnerable. In other words dude's nose was wide open, as my grandmother would have said. He was all the way in. And heck that is a good thing.

But as he shared his raw emotions with me, I told him it's better to have love and lost than to not have loved at all.

He kept saying how he was going back to the Old Him. The one that didn't allow that kind of stuff to happen.

I laff right in his face. Nah, that's not necessary. That will only show that your maturity has been shifted into reverse.

He maintained that how he felt is something that he will not allow again.

Poooor baby, I say but this time to myself. But then as a divorcee, I have to say, "You live and learn, and you love."

But I stumbled across research that says that most divorced people do NOT agree with me.

The stat says almost 40 percent of the single population is divorced. About 60 percent of the total single population has never been married before.

And then it said this:

"The jury is in: more people think it's better to have never loved at all then to have loved and lost."

But I cannot understand for the life of me this statistic because LOVE is the most powerful emotion on the planet and shouldn't everyone want to experience it.

Sooo do you think it is better to have loved and lost or never loved at all?

What Would Your Exs Say About You?

2010-06-14T06:59:00.006-04:00

Someone posed an interesting question to me so I thought I would share. What would your exs say about you?

In my opinion, it is not smart to speak unkindly of an ex husband or boyfriend because as much as you talk about them you are revealing something about yourself. Yep, you are.

What is interesting however is that while it's not a good idea to speak negatively of others, it is necessary to be honest. Clearly, something was wrong because the relationship didn't work.

This is like a tightrope walk. Wooooooo, Nellie! LOLOLOLOL

Sooooo, what would my exs say about me? I looked at this feller LOLOLO and said spoiled, old-fashioned, sensitive, selfish and ummm that I can be a pistol.

While they may have many positive things to say, I focused on what I thought they would say base on the nature of the break up. And I have to say that I am all of the above. I have not meant to be selfish, but I have been in the past. It is what it is.

Heck, I actually don't know what they would say but based on the circumstances I think that this type of feedback may be given.

Any who.

What do you think your ex would say was one of your qualities or characteristics that led to your breakups?

Please Look For My Hotspot

2010-06-11T13:15:00.002-04:00

I took issue with a guy recently who said that after a woman has been through soooooo much she isn't necessarily interested in finding a man's hot spot, kissing him and loving on him.

Exsqueeeze me.

I said hole hole hole (not hold) up! Are you saying that if a woman has experienced difficulties in relationships then she is no longer affectionater etcetera etcetra :)

He looked me dead in my face and said "Yes, that is what I am saying."

I like to listen to people and try to understand their angle. This one I couldn't get at all, so I said, "Are You Kidding ME!?"

Again, the response was a convincing NO. He wasn't pulling my leg. He meant what he just said.

Well, I say, if a woman is not feeling adored and special, heck you might not get nothing but I think saying that it's because she has been through sooooo much is a bit of stretch.

He goes on to tell me that this is one of the reasons why he will not date women who are his age (early 40s). He says younger girls want to talk dirty and whisper in your ear and find your hot spot.

I pounce on bofe feet and hands, "Are you kidding me?!!"

He wasn't kidding at all. Really, he wasn't kidding.

So then I go into the whole idea of being a selfish lover. Some peeps are just selfish in bed. They aren't interested in pleasing. They only want to be pleased! And ummm, this is the absolute worse, LOLOLOL

Any who.

We go back and forth on this, but he maintains his original thoughts that older women in their mid to late 30s on up aren't necessarily interested in finding what makes her love interest tick or shake LOLOLOL in the bedroom.

Soooo what do you think? Can a selfish lover be taught to be a pleaser or is it a lost cause?

She Had Missing Teeth, He Had Bad Breath

2010-06-10T22:38:00.000-04:00

I was sitting in a coffee shop recently ear hustlin'. LOLOLOL

The TV was on a court show and one of the young ladies speaking had a missing toof, I mean tooth. LOLOLOL

One of the fellas in the coffee shop said to another fella, "Man did you see her mouth. It is expletive up. She is a pretty girl but her mouth."

Now, everybody is focused on the TV.

I notice that the young lady is holding her lip a bit and one of the guys picks up on this, too. "Look at how she is holding her lip, man?"

Before soon, the conversation turns to teefus and moufs that are jicky jacked up.

While I'm sitting there silent, my mind wanders to a conversation that I had with a gf about someone who had peg teeth.

When she explained that peg teeth are little bitty teeth with a bunch of spaces I was on the floor laffin.

Wow!

I definitely like nice teeth and clean mouths, ummm scrape your tongue, floss and brush :) And I cannot, repeat dat mutha, cannot do the missing teefus on the side that show when someone smiles. And it is a MAAAAAAAAAAAAJOR problem. LOLOLOLOL

I cannot do plaque either. I don't really have a problem with a gap, but it shouldn't be a gap that three teefus can fit.

Any who.

While at a birthday party, there was a young man attempting to hold a conversation with me. I am telling you that a green cloud of smoke came out of his mouth because his breath was so bad that I felt like somebody walked by me and passed gas and kept going. It was soooo bad that I immediately had to figure out a way to end the conversation.

Peeps, that test of holding your hands over your mouth to get a whiff of your breath doesn't work. Lick your hand, let it dry and sniff. If it knocks you out, get a serious regimen going that includes visiting the dentist. Yea, it's expensive but soooooooo worth it LOLOLOLOL

How much does a person's mouth, teeth and breath play into attraction? After all, if you have to play kissy face, isn't the overall dental hygiene important?

Moving Into Her House

2010-06-09T12:39:00.002-04:00

It's always interesting to get people's take on the many different situations that are dealt with in a relationship.

I have had some of the most interesting conversations about homes, his home, her home and their home.

Without a doubt, I think a man moving into a woman's home may be one of the hardest things on the planet to do. I am a woman sooooo I know she is likely to refer to it as MY MY MY MY MY, like it is a dayuuuum song. And who the heckypoo wants to hear that. So on this fellas, I say steer clear, very clear because moving into her home is likely to make a OK relationship turrible, just turrible. LOLOLOL

But what about a house that your boo once shared with a former love?

A house is not a small purchase so I understand that this may be necessary sometimes. In an ideal world, however, the home will sell and the two peeps can buy a home together, but errr uhhh, that is an ideal world and with the housing market being the way it is, ummmm let's just say it is not ideal.

But moving into a home shared with a former lover may cause a bit of problem for me. I'm just sayin...I mean really, it was her house and she likely picked it out. I definitely picked out my house with my ex.

I do think that it is something that I could get over, particularly if renovations are done. And yea, a new bed. LOLOLOLO

Sooooo, would you have a problem moving into a home that your new boo once shared with a former love?

Has Romance Become A Thing Of Past?

2010-06-08T10:36:00.004-04:00

It's interesting how relationships play out these days. It seems the woman has become the dominating force in many relationships and men no longer have to be men.

They don't have to work. They don't have to be the head of the household. They just don't have to be.

Really, they just have to show up because there will be three to five, if not 10, willing women.

Any who.

I cannot say it enough. I am standing on the top of the tallest building saying, nah screaming, "I am a lady and I should be treated as such."

And before you go twisting your lips and turning your head, I do believe that men should be treated as men. Yea, my name is Darlene and I am a bit traditional.

OOOOOOK.

Romance seems to have become a thing of the past. Folks are just falling in bed, wham, bam, wham, bam and then sooooo long sucka, in the my Esther voice from "Sanford and Son."

Heck, it used to be that women who would give it up quickly or on the first night were considered EASY. Hmmmmmm.

Now, I think giving it up quickly is the standard. Flings, firstnighters, whatever you wanna call it.

I think in the olden days men worked for IT a little more, a little romance, a picnic, a candlelight dinner, flowers, all that good stuff that makes a woman really feel special.

Now, that type of stuff isn't heard of as much.

Sooooo what happened? Has romance died? Do men no longer have to work to bed a woman and therefore romance is unnecessary? And is romance a man's responsibility?

Do You Write Down Dates?

2010-06-07T11:06:00.003-04:00

I tend to write down appointments and birthdays and things I want to make sure I remember. Actually, I don't write those dates down, I put them in my calendar on my phone.

I have not gotten to the point, however, that I have to write down dates. If someone asks me out I typically make a mental note of it.

I had a guy tell me that he put me in her planner on a particular date.

Hmmmmmmm?

I was a tad bit irritated, so I asked you really wrote that down in your planner? He responded, "Yes."

OOOOOOK. I understand if you are truly in demand and it was necessary to pencil me in but do you have to tell me!!!??

I shared this irritation with my bff and she said, "I write down stuff like that, too, D."

Hmmmmmm, OOOOOK.

I thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that some things are just better left unsaid.

If he did have to write it down, he didn't have to tell me. Period!

I was irritated, offended. I didn't feel special, and I didn't want to go on the date the more and more I thought about it.

Sooooo, would you be irritated if someone told you that they put a date with you in their planner? Do you write down your dates?

Limits In The Bedroom

2010-06-04T10:51:00.005-04:00

I love to share conversations that I have with men in my blog soooooo here we go again.

I was talking to one of my guy friends recently and he said that once a man has had all the Pu$$# in the world with women who will do anything, it's hard to settle down with a woman who will say, "I don't do this. I don't do that."

Hmmmmm.

Essentially, he has given up on a lasting relationship because if he meets a woman who he really likes, she will have limits in the bedroom. If he finds a woman who he likes having diggity with, that's all he wants.

In fact, he said with this type of woman he does not even wanna go to breakfast the following morning with her or hang out with her occasionally. While talking, it seemed as though the thought of spending time with a woman he only wanted sex with repulsed him.

I was shocked for a minute but then I realized that being in that type of situation is a true quandary. So if he goes for the woman he likes having sex with he doesn't want to spend time with her and if he goes with the woman he likes spending time with he won't like having sex with her.

Just thinking about it made me exhausted.

I think, just for a second, you can't get everything you want. But then I back away from that thought because who wants to spend the rest of their life with a person who they don't enjoy sex with. Wow!

Then I tell him that I think just about every woman has an inner freak. It's just a matter of whether the prospective man can tap into that freak tank by saying the right words and making her feel real special.

He shoots back, "I am tooo old for that."

Clearly, he was disgusted and dismayed and has given up on finding someone he likes having sex with and actually like spending time with.

Is this problem prevalent? Do men and women find it difficult to find someone that they like having sex with and like spending time with? And during dating, should their be limits in the bedroom?

Don't Tell Me What You Think I Wanna Hear

2010-06-03T07:22:00.001-04:00

I am a bit perturbed, angry, upset, unhappy, displeased, heck I have an upside down smile on my face when I think about how people can manipulate with words.

More than that, I believe many men go to some type of Say What You Think She Wanna Hear Workshop because it seems many are in the business of telling women what they think women want to hear.

Ummmmmm, when I think about it even more, I am perplexed. What is the purpose of telling women just any ole thing? Do women really fall for that gawbage?

I haven't been the smartest in this dating thing since getting my divorce. Yep, my name is Darlene and I haven't been the smartest but errrr uhhhh, you live, you learn. But I also haven't been the dumbest. I do recognize game and when I see it I sit on the sidelines for a while as a spectator. And then usually walk away disgusted at the performance.

Any who.

What I have discovered is that men will just jack their jacks and jibba jab soooooo much that they don't even know what they are talking about.

Boi, shut yo mouf, lyin, I have wanted to say sooooooooooooo many times.

Because I don't have children, I get guys who tell me, "You are gonna have my baby."

Aaaaaaaaaant, wrong answer. No, nope, no way! That dere young man is not what I wanna hear. LOLOLOL

Heck, I have even been told, "I love you." I mean fo real, fo real, one clown told me he loved me sooooo sooon into the dating that I really started to question his sanity.

I remember pullin back from him a bit startled and thinking, "Huh?"

I truly thought dude was on meds, psychotropic meds.

"Let's move in together."

Ummm, I do not play house.

"I am going to be your second husband."

Now, this one really makes me tighten up my shoe laces and run Forest, ruuuuuun. LOLOLOLOL

The kind of love I want has to manifest itself like little kids around adults -- seen and not heard. I am dead serious. :)

Anybody can jack their jaws but show me, show me, show me. Don't talk my dayuuuuum ears off! LOLOLOL

So why do you think men just say what they believe women wanna hear?

Off On Wrong Dating Foot

2010-06-02T08:02:00.002-04:00

Call me a stickler, anal, particular, whateva, but you will not be able to call me a fool.

Recently, one of my gfs told me that a certain young man wanted to take me out for a fun date, to shoot some pool or play some basketball.

Ummmm, what the heckypoo -- I'll go, I told her.

After all, you never know.

Any who.

This dude goes back and forth with me about how he is going to give me a beatdown. I talk shiggidy, too. DJ serving up beatdowns and smackdowns, I retort. LOLOLOLOL

Then, he asks if a particular day would be good. I respond by saying sure that will work.

Lo and behold, he gets back and touch with me to tell me that he forgot about something that is going on that day and it no longer works. OOOOOOOK.

But right then, right there, right then, right there, I gave him a 24-hour window to reschedule and he didn't. Soooooooooooooo nope, nah, no I will not go on a date with you, period.

What the heck I look like, a pause button!???

Well, I am not. And there are some things that I have decided I just ain't gonna tolerate. And ummmmm, this is one.

No thanks on basketball, football, baseball, table ball, toe ball, floor ball or any kind of ball. LOLOLOLOL

Ummmm sit on a ball in the corner, because there will be no date with moi. LOLOLOLOLO

What is the lamest excuse that someone has used to get out of date? What is the lamest excuse you have used?

Sleeping With A Dog

2010-06-01T08:54:00.004-04:00

When guys find out that I have a dog that I love, yep, I love my dog, I don't think they are sure how to take it or take me.

Carmen Electra, a chow-sheltie mix, has been there for me when no one else was available at late hours of the night or early hours of the morning to be a companion. :)

Plus, she has an ability to stop me from crying by distracting me. She'll put her snout on my leg or arm or flip over on her back to get my attention to stop the tears from flowing. Sooooo yes indeedy deed, I love her.

I think people underestimate the relationship between man and dog. It is a relationship filled with love, fo real UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

Any who.

I've been asked whether my dog sleeps in the bed with me? And no, Carm does not sleep in the bed with me. She has her own pillow bed that she climbs onto when it's beddy bye bye time. :)

But I wonder in the dating arena, do men look at me a little differently because I arrange my life around my dog. I have to walk her, feed her, let her out and this can put a damper on things sometimes.

And the other very funny thing about Carm is she is a voyeur. She likes to watch diggity LOLOLOL

Soooooo this could be a very uncomfy experience for a self-conscious guy who doesn't want to be watched by a dog. LOLOLOLOL But it never fails, if there is any action, Carm is watching. :)

I wonder, after it is revealed that I have a dog and no children, do guys consider it a plus or minus. Do they ponder, "Is she one of those crazy dog people?" or "Does she sleep with her dog?" or "Does she let her dog kiss her dog in the mouth?"

It is not something that overly consumes any brain power, but I do wonder about it from time to time.

But errr uhhh, would you date a person who lets their cat or dog sleep in the bed?

He Isn't Over His Ex

2010-05-27T12:18:00.003-04:00

Every relationship is supposed to start as a friendship. I get that. I really do.

But I have had two bfs - guys who are friends -- talk to me about their ex-girlfriends when in fact I thought they were interested in me.

When getting to know a person, I listen intently to what he has to say and even how he says it, if on the phone. If face-to-face, I look for a twinkle in his eye.

The first guy, who honestly could not have been a love interest, seemed to be interested in hanging out with me and getting to know each other. He was much younger and ummm let's just say I prolly was crossing the line, but errr uhhh you only live once. LOLOLOLO

Any who.

I don't know how it happened but he started talking to me about his ex-gf. I listened and then he said things that made me think his heart was still in her hand. It was sorta like he wanted to get my opinion about her so he could figure out how to make things work. Which is cool, if I can help bring about happiness, call me Ms. Hap Hap Happiness. LOLOLOLOL

The other guy, and again, I thought he was interested in me, started telling me about how his ex-gf had a guy stay the night and how it was bothering him. Hmmmmmm

OOOOOOOOK!

Sooooooo, what do you say to a guy who you thought was interested in you and he is mad about someone staying the night with his ex? Ummmmm, ummmmmm, maybe dude you ain't over your ex if you trippin like that.

But I wouldn't be DJ if I had stopped there sooooooo I asked a few questions and listened for the answers.

She told him it was over with the other guy and that she didn't want him in her life any more. Stick with me here --- she didn't want the guy in her life anymore who stayed the night with her LOLOLOLOLOL

Sooooo I tell dude clearly she hasn't figured out if she wants the guy or not in her life and that she is likely in that transition stage, ya know, the stage when you trying to figure out if you should let it go, let it go, let it go. :)

With both, well ummmm with one LOLOLOL, I really wasn't that interested so no harm was truly done. And if nothing else, I gained two friends.

But what are signs that someone is not over his or her ex?

You Spend 336 Hours Kissing

2010-05-25T21:30:00.003-04:00

There are a few tidbits that I wanna share about puckering up.

You will spend 336 hours of your life kissing. Well, the average person.

And no two lips have the same impression. Remember how proud you were to rush home with that art assignment of your hands in fingerpaint as a kid...and how your hands looked different than all your friends? Well, same for your lippy lips.

Research has found that kissing is good for you. Mooooooooooooaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

But I must say I like to kiss fat lips. Kissing little lips feels like kissing a bird's beek lololololo

But eeeeeerrrrrr uhhhhhh, teefus matter too. Can you imagine kissing a tartar filled mouf.....ugggg

And I don't know what peeps think about kissing someone with swollen gums yuckola...I will pass.

Dentist appointments should be evry six months too. And to ward off bad breath floss and scrape your tongue. Crest's cinnamon flavored toothpaste is the best eva.... I'm just sayin.

Read other kissing facts at http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=18728050

Signs He May Be On The DL

2010-05-24T15:08:00.003-04:00

I love reading E. Lynn Harris' books but after I read them I become seriously paranoid. Harris' books deal with men who are on the down low. These are men who seemingly like women but sleep with men too. It is a big problem in the African-American community.

But while reading the book, "Basketball Jones," I started thinking about the pregnant wife who didn't know that her husband was sneaking off to sleep with an openly gay man. Wow! That really is something to kill someone over. It's the highest level of deceit and for what?

Any who.

The man, as described in the book, was athletic, nice looking and any woman's dream man. He wasn't even described in a gay way, meaning in the way he gestured or talked or any of the stereotypical stuff.

Sooooo this got me to thinking long and hard. How the heckypoo can a woman spot a man who is only using her to deceive the world because he really likes sleeping with men?

This question sent me in a tailspin because the more I thought about it, the more I felt like there was't an answer that would even be good enough to explain such craziness.

I can understand that a person can be attracted to the same sex and is trying to deal with the whole situation as a teen. And heck, I am not judging people who are gay. The bible says Judge Thee Not, sooooo Imma do as I'm told.

But to be a full grown man and not be completely honest with yourself and even your sexual partner is just too much, too much, too much. Why? Grow up and deal with your reality.

But then I go back to thinking about the signs. Is it the way he talks? Is it the way he walks? Is it that he has that one really cooooool supa coooool friend? Is it that he prefers to be around men A LOT?

Wow, it makes me shake in my boots just thinking about that type of crazy deception. Being on the DL is truly a cowardly approach to life and sexuality, and I am hoping that I have never run into or will run into a man who is such a fraud.

But are there signs that someone is on the DL?

Take Details Of Cheating Sexcapades To Grave

2010-05-21T12:39:00.004-04:00

I have seen a few situations when a man or a woman had to come clean about cheating. Tyically, it's when they have been cooooold busted and they can't deny it any longer.

There are a lot of hurt feelings involved. One of my family members, I don't think, has ever gotten over her husband having a baby with another woman in the beginning of their marriage.

Another one of my friends seemed to be stricken with a physical ailment when she found out her husband was cheating on her and he confirmed it. I remember seeing her and she was laying in the floor and her pain was palpable. I felt it. I cried too.

Being honest can hurt and help a relationship. In both of the aforementioned cases, the marriages are still a truckin :)

But then there was a moment in another situation involving cheating that the woman wanted to know details. Did you do this to her? Did you do that to her?

It pained me to hear that she wanted to hear the deeeeeetails, so I told her don't pain yourself even more hearing all of those details. The details may end up haunting you if you try to make your relationship work.

I never really understood why she wanted to know the details. I would keep details as far away from my mind as possible if I knew fo sho fo sho that someone had cheated on me. I don't wanna know. In fact, just take that information to the grave with you.

Even Tiger Woods wife, Elin, comes to mind. All those unnecessary details of how freaky he was. Really, what does that do? Why do the details matter?

But would you ever admit that you have cheated on someone? And if someone told you that they cheated on you, would you want details of the sexcapades?

He Looked Like A Bug With A Gap In His Teeth

2010-05-20T12:07:00.002-04:00

On a recent occasion, I totally put my foot in my mouf.

A guy enters the room and I say, "Oh my he looks like a bug with a gap in his teeth."

Clearly, he was not my type, but errrrr uhhhh, he was actually there for one of my friends who heard my comment about how I thought he looked.

Ummmm, he was ugly. I'm sorry, sorry, ooooo sooooo sorry but dude was zugly. LOLOLOL

Yea, I'm wrong.

Any who.

After I uninserted my foot, I tried to redeem myself by saying guuuuurrl, looks aren't everything. OOOPS that prolly didn't help, I think so I try again.

Guuuuurl, do not listen to me because if you can look at him, I can look at him.

But oh my oh my, I honestly could not imagine waking up and rolling over and looking at that man. Ugggg. But he didn't like me and wasn't trying to wake up with me soooooooo...

I thought about my comment later and tried to reconcile with my feelings. I kept asking myself, "Are you that shallow?"

And then I arrived at "How important are looks to you?" "How important is physical attraction?"

Heck, it's waaaaaay up there on a scale of 1 to 10 for me right around 7 or 8. Of course I don't want Mr. Fine who is the behind hole but I also don't want someone who looks like a behind hole *falls outta chair onto floor laffin LOLOLOLOL

Beauty, however, is in the eye of the beholder, but ugly is universal LOLOLOL

No, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Plus, it would be really hard for me to pucker up, hold hands, and heck even look at if I didn't find him physically attractive or sexy or sumptin. Give me sumptin.

But how important is physical attraction to you? Rate it on a scale from 1 to 10.

Get In My Mind And Then My Pants?

2010-05-18T19:22:00.005-04:00

My mother told me not to talk to strangers three decades ago, but for some reason I keep doing it.

I was sitting in the liberry, no yall, library LOLOLOLOL minding my own business until this fella strikes up a conversation with me.

I don't wanna be rude but really I didn't wanna talk, really I didn't. It kinda reminded me of being at the gym when a fella or two would converge on the treadmill or eliptical or whatever machine I would be trying to work out on and start jibba jabbin.

I would be huffin and puffin and about the blow a house down and he would still just stand there jibba jabbin jackin his jaws. LOLOLOL

Well, it was sorta like that but just a bunch of books and no treadmill. This guy wanted to talk and then he discovered we had a few things in common and wowsa yowsa and nowsa he just wasn't gonna zip it. :)

I smile and nod and smile and nod and OK, and Yea a few times. Heck, he was nice, but I needed to apply for a few more jobs and check peep's statuses on Facebook. I had things to do.

He was cool to talk to. But errrr uhhh when he opened his lips and said I want to get in your mind before I get into your pants I wanted to shoot bullets from my eye sockets. I stared and stared.

I even imagined myself with a double-barrel shot gun. It mysteriously appears and I load it and blow him away. Boooooooom! Booooooom!

And then he says, I would like for you to take a look at something and YOU can treat me to lunch. Enuf, enuf, enuf, enuf.

I wanted to be like Wilona and call him a jive a$$ turkey but I said, "NO."

And departed in my usual pleasant way, but I have to figure out a way to get rid of men I am not remotely interested in. Maybe, I should wear a bright orange cap and bright red lipstick LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

How do you get rid of a person who is coming on soooooooo strong and you are sooooooo not interested? Tell me.

Don't Be Cruel

2010-05-18T12:25:00.004-04:00

You prolly thought of Bobby Brown and started doing that dance that he did with your arms and legs because you read, "Don't Be Cruel."

But don't break out in a jig just yet I have some real talk about being cruel.

A recent conversation with someone got me to really thinking about mean people. I hate mean people, well, I have a muscle-bound dislike for mean people.

Any who.

He said that when a man starts treating a woman really mean, it is because he wants out of the relationship and doesn't know what to do to get out of it.

Sooooo rather than be a stand-up type of fella, he acts like a behind hole and calls you delusional and insane and crazy and all kinda mean shiggidy that will make YOU hit the highway.

And I have to say that not spending time is what I considered to be the telltale sign, but errrr uhhh you live and you learn.

Heck, looking back I've had some really mean stuff happen to me and I actually thought it was a character issue -- fo real, fo real.

It was a mean one day and nice the next so I didn't know what the heck to think, but I guess now he was desperately telling me I want O-U-T right now, right now, not tomorrow or the next day, right now! LOLOLOLOL

But why do peeps have to be mean or cruel or nasty or ugly to someone if they just wanna hit the road. Just hit the doe and don't come back no moe. :)

Do you think people start treating their significant other really mean when they want out of a relationship? What do people do when they want O-U-T?! Tell me.

When He Says He Is No Longer In Love

2010-05-17T12:14:00.003-04:00

What exactly does it mean when someone says, "I love you but I am NOT in love with you."

Other than it being a serious gutt shot that will double you over in physical and emotional pain, it is a complex statement.

I have had these words uttered to me, and the pain that resonated in my body was unexplainable. I really felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. Twice!

I remember trying to describe the way I felt and the only thing I kept repeating was, it hurt sooooo bad, oh, it really hurt.

Interestingly, the person I was trying to communicate my feelings to had the same words uttered to her so she understood exactly how painful those words were.

I remember trying to reconcile with myself why someone would say something sooooooo hurtful. Heck, why not say I no longer want to be with you. Period. But I guess that would be painful, too.

I believe that in marriages (and even long-term relationships), being in love is cyclical. Because marriage is supposed to be forever, for the duration, until death do us part, riding the wave of being in love is part of what one has signed up for. Some days love and being in love will be 100 and other days it will be very close to zip zero. And then some days, it will be right in the middle somewhere. To me, it is the nature of the beast.

I think men and women want to be in love. Actually, I think men and and women want the same things in relationships. Love, respect, admiration, trust, understanding and good diggity. Men and women both want someone to laugh with, someone to talk to and someone to have fun with.

Yea, we are different but we are really the same.

But do you think men and women both are as in love with the idea of being in love? Would you be able to stay in a relationship with someone who says he or she loves you but is not in love with you?

I Am Going To Flip Tables On My Next Date

2010-05-12T19:00:00.003-04:00

It's interesting to me how someone I used to date would say I am a good guy, and women want me.

LOLOLOLOL

Yea, I thought, but you might wanna take a good look at the things that are wrong, waaaaaaaaaay wrong with you that keeps you from being able to have a lasting relationship.

And when this thought entered my mine, it didn't just apply to him. It applied to me as well.

Heck, I think I am a good googly mooogly looky looky good catch and from time to time I get the lines from seekers LOLOLOL

Your husband is a lucky man. Tell your guy he is lucky to have you. And these guys don't even know that I am patient, optimistic, loving, kind, affectionate, family-oriented, smart, goal-oriented and funny with a zest for life like no other.

Interestingly, I recently got a pick up line that I liked. "

"Are you married, engaged or in love?" Oh my, oh my, I liked that one. I was blushing and cheesy cheesing.

Unfortunately, I was looking straight into the man's eyes and ummmmm I am 5'1. Well, I may not have been looking him straight in the eyes but he was a shorty mackadoo and I don't do shorty mackadoos. :)

Any who.

I think it is absolutely necessary to know your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. A little bit of psychic ability is needed to so that time is not wasted on a loser or a user. And if psychic ability isn't available, I am selling some GET-OVER-IT pills. LOLOLOL

I know what is oooooooh sooooo good about me, but I know what isn't oooooooh soooooo goood too.

Oh, I am a firecracker, fiiyah-cracker soooooo do NOT, I repeat, do NOT ignite. I am a grudge holder sooooo do NOT cross me. I am emotional so don't say I am crying to just get a reaction from YOU. I am not I am crying or have tears in my eyes because my feelings are hurt. I don't purposely make my big beautiful eyes water :)

But with all that said, I think that I will reverse the whole questioning involved in dating. Yea, all the good stuff about you is great but what the heck is the bad stuff? Do you have a temper? Are you cheap? Why do you think you haven't been able to sustain a relationship? Are you jealous? Are you insecure? Are you controlling? All Dat.

Oh, when I do it to the next seeker, he may not even recognize how I have flipped the table over on him like a New Jersey Housewife LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Sooooo what makes you an ideal mate and what does not make you an ideal mate?

Yikes! You Had A Cocaine Habit?

2010-05-11T12:05:00.003-04:00

While out having a drink one night, an older fella sitting next to me starts jibba jabbin.

Uh huh, yea, OK, really, smile, smile, giggle, smile, giggle.

I really was NOT interested in a thing he was talking about but I didn't want to be rude. I have discovered that sometimes peeps just wanna jack their jaws, so I was going to let him jibba jab awaaaaaaaaaay. LOLOLOLOL

He talked about raising his son and work and how things were looking up. Yea, look up economy, look up :)

I glanced down at his feet and low and behold this fella had on house shoes. Yea, white people call them slippers but these were house blue, cushiony, shoey shoooooes LOLOLOLO

Because I would not be me if I didn't say anything, I say, "What in the world are you doing outside with your house shoes on?"

He says that his footsies were tired after a long day of wearing steel-toe shoes.

Wow! Ghet Ghet Ghet Ghetttttttttooooooe!

People should not wear house shoes outdoors, period, period, period, neva, neva, neva, eva. LOLOLOLOL

Any who.

I slowly drift back into my smile and yea mode while he continued to jack his jaws. But then I noticed he wasn't drinking so I asked, "You aren't drinking?"

When you ask a question, be ready, be RETTAY for the answer.

"I am a recovering cocaine addict!"

My lip hit his house shoe LOLOLOL No, seriously, my lip was on the floor and my eyes fell into my glass of chardy chard and starting floating around and I fell off the bar stool. LOLOLOL

Nah, not all that happened but I was quite shocked.

But then, Mr. House Shooooey Shoe said cocaine and alcohol are both drugs and made me feel like he was trying to tell me not to judge him in a real sneaky way.

Hmph, you gotta lotta nerves Mr. House Shoooooey Shoe.

You just blew my buzz, I thought to myself. My brain power kicked in and I started thinking good googly moogly the options out here are wackadoo crazy. If for some reason his house shoes had NOT turned me all the way off and I was considering having conversations outside the establishment what a surprise the cocaine habit would have been to me.

But errrr uhhh, Mr. House Shooooooey Shooooe had a snowball chance in hell of ever dating me but is dating a cocaine addict and an alcoholic the same? Are you more concerned if someone says I was on cocaine or I was a heavy drinker?

Wowsa, Yowsa, Wowsa! Tell me.

Mother's Day Gift: Dating Advice From Mom

2010-05-06T16:21:00.003-04:00

Whenever I have relationship problems I am quick to pick up the phone and call my mother. I did it when I was married and I still do it.

Many times, she will listen intently and then give the most concise of advice.

Darlene, you know what will make you happy.

Darlene, the way you find a man is the way he is going to be.

Darlene, try to change what you do to get a different response.

So I found the following e-mail from www.datewithoutdrama.com interesting because it offered advice that others have received from their mother over the years.

THE BEST DATING ADVICE I EVER GOT
FROM MY MOM

"Date a man who worships you."

-Lesley,
Bergen Co., NJ

* * * * * *

"My mother told me that dating was a numbers game. If I go up to
100 girls and ask them out, 99 might say no, but one will say yes
and it's all worth it."

-Mike
Port Washington, NY

* * * * * *

"My Mom used to say 'don't date anyone you wouldn't consider
marrying.' In other words, be careful who you agree to go on a date
with, you might just end up falling for him!

She also said 'Don't settle. You will have to kiss a lot of frogs
in order to find your prince!' (Though I'm not sure she was
encouraging all the kissing!) When I had relationships that ended,
she encouraged me to see the positive side and know that I was that
much closer to finding my prince!

There's just one thing... I married my prince, but nobody told me
I'd have to wash his clothes and listen to his snoring all night!!
UGGHH!!"

- Liz
Durham, NC

* * * * * *

"My mom said, 'Don't use sex to get love, because some men will use
love to get sex.'

'If you still have doubts a year into a relationship, it's a sign of
things to come.' (In other words, cut your losses and get out.)

Most of all, 'the purpose of dating (just dating) is to find out
what you DON'T want in a guy. Your taste becomes more defined as
you swim along in the dating pool.'"

-Amy
Chantilly, VA

* * * * * *

"My mom has given me tons of great advice over the years. I have to
say that there is one I like the best though.

She told me that she (playfully) reminded my dad every day how
lucky he was to have her for his wife. Also she took a few minutes
to make sure she looked nice when he got home from work.

The power a positive attitude, as well as a little self-promotion,
goes a long way!"

-Karyn,
Avon Lake, OH

* * * * * *

"If you think you are going to be able to change your significant
other, change your own mindset. (Ladies, you'll be lucky if you
can just get him to clip his nails or buy new underwear to replace
the ones with holes in it.)

Sometimes you need to be single to remind yourself of who you are.

Nothing is easy in life. If you aren't willing to work at a
relationship, you will never have one that lasts.

If it's so hard that you need couples counseling while still dating,
don't plan on this going the distance.

You're not always going to be right. But if you're always wrong,
you're either with the wrong person or you need to understand the
basic concepts of life.

Figure out if it's Love or Lust. If you two can't stay together
without sex for an extended period of time (several months) it's
probably lust.

Don't combine bank accounts or purchase a home together until you
are actually married.

Make sure if you're been dating a while, that the two of you know
where you are in the relationship. Are you thinking marriage and
they're thinking next great vacation (or vice versa)?

Communication is important because if you don't communicate, you
may get annoyed that your significant other isn't reading your
thoughts and that's just plain crazy."

-Jason,
Washington, DC

* * * * * *

"My Mom always told me that I should picky, but not too picky."

- Julie
New York, NY

* * * * * *

"My mother told me dating was stressful and to make sure I
wore deodorant."

-John
Los Angeles, CA

Longtime Divorcee May Be Trouble

2010-05-05T03:59:00.000-04:00

My bff has maintained from the very beeeeeginnning that if a man has gotten divorced and has not gotten remarried within three years, there is a problem.

We laff and laff and laff when she gets on this topic.

She says, No. 1 -- If the guy was married, he is used to being married so he will take a little time off and then try it out again. The is also true for women, she believes.

No. 2 If a guy gets divorced, there will be woman after woman ready, willing and able sooooo basically someone will grab him up.

No. 3. If a guy is in his mid to late 30s, he is at that age that he wants to settle down with one woman.

Hmmmmmmmm, soooooo is my bff right about men who are divorced more than three years? She says they must be really, really, really hard to get along with. Do you think something is wrong with these men who divorce and stay single for more than three years? Tell me.

Party, Party, Party Let's Get Wasted

2010-04-27T13:05:00.003-04:00

I like a good partay. No, I love a good party.

I looooooove laughing and talking and sippy sipping and having a good ole time with my friends and family.

But errr uhhh whenever I see a guy in a car with those yellowish Ohio plates, I always think, let me get waaaaay awaaaay if it is at night -- party time. And then I get to stinking about the Scarlet Letter and how Hester had the big A on her chest. The A stood for adulterer. I read the book in high school but it's a good read.

Any who. The banana plates, party plates or the party, party, party let's all get wasted plates are sorta a symbol to let the whole world know that the driver drinks, yes, indulges a bit tooo much a bit tooo often.

But are the plates to shame the person or to make others know? Hmmmmmm

Both, I think because honestly when I see them I'm trying to get a peek at the driver and then driving away, waaaaaay awaaaaay just in case he or she has had a few.

But what do these yellow plates do for relationships? Good googly moogly, I hate to say it but I just don't think the banana plates go over well in dating situations. What do you think?

Do Photos Of Exs Mean Anything?

2010-04-26T12:08:00.003-04:00

When a relationship gets on skidrow and ends up in a crash, what's the first thing people do?

Ummmm for me, I get rid of everything that reminds me of that person, clothes, photos, artifacts LOLOLOLOL everything. The photos I have in my home are of people I love. People who make me smile. People who mean something to my life soooooo because an ex no longer means anything, I am grabbing up all his STUFF and heave hoin it into the trash. LOLOLOLOL

Nah, I'm not that dramatic but I certainly do remove things that serve as reminders.

I'm a card person so I keep every single card given to me. Period. Birthday cards. Sweetest Day cards. Thinking About You cards. Forgive Me cards. And yea, I keep letters and notes, too. I'm sentimental.

As I scan my collection of photos, I have my nieces, nephews, my bff and her husband, my gf and her husband, my gf, gf, gf, gf, me and my gfs, my parents, my sisters. Oh my, I do not have a photo of my brother! Wow! I have a photo of my neice and nephew from my wedding. It's sooo old but I love it and it's cute. They look soooo innocent.

But does having a photo set out or hanging in your home of your ex gf or bf mean anything? Is it good or bad? Explain.

Your Single Friends Can Get You Into Trouble

2010-04-20T18:04:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend, I had an interesting conversation with a gf about singles hanging with married people.

I used to be married so my perspective is simple -- in everything, life is a juggling act. This means, one cannot do too much of anything, including hanging with single friends.

I believe that I am a good influence on all my friends, whether they are married or single, because I always look at the glass half full. Yeppers, I am an optimist.

Soooo if one of my friends is dealing with an issue in a marriage or a relationship or a dating situation, I try to find the good in it. I prolly do this a little bit too much actually, but this is my personality.

Any who.

There was a recent incident with one of my married friends and her husband said to her I betcha if it had been them they would not have still been hanging with you, meaning the friend would have been with her man.

And ummmm he is right. Women like to be with their man when they have one and a man who is really interested in a woman wants to spend most of his free time with her. Can I get an Amen from the choir? LOLOLOLOL

But when a person gets married, I don't think that he or she has to abandon their single friends but ummmm they can't be ripping and running with them as if they were single.

Really this means, a married person has to pick and choose the events and outings that they want to attend. After all, if you are with the person of your dreams, you should really want to spend the bulk of your time with him or her.

Amen! Amen! LOLOLOLOLOL

What are your thoughts? Should married people hang out with single people? Should they limit how many tmes they go out? Share your thoughts with me.

Guys I Date Cannot Eat Pork

2010-04-19T12:07:00.004-04:00

There are sooooo many reality TV shows out now and I have to admit that I am one of those people who are feeding the craziness.

I like a lot of reality TV shows. The Kardashians, Kendra, Housewives (the city doesn't matter), Still Standing, For The Love Of Ray J, and others that I cannot think of the title to right now.

Last night, I caught "What Chili Wants" on VH-1. I'm a major TLC fan and absolutely adored the trio and the ladies' style in the 90s. So "What Chili Wants" grabbed my attention.

The show is centered around her looking for love and she has a love coach/matchmaker trying to help her find it.

In the episode that I caught, she raddled off a list. He can't drink, smoke, eat pork. He has to have a six pack abdomen and a few other things.

But eat pork, eat pork. Wowsa Yowsa. I can see no drunks allowed and no dragon breaths but peeps care about what folks eat when deciding if he or she is dating. Oh my!

OK, I don't eat steak or lobster but would a guy care ummmm I don't think so. Well, maybe he would care because of the tab when he would take me out to dinner, but the pork thing totally blew me away.

I don't think I would have been as shocked if she would have just said follows a balanced nutritional diet because quiet as it is kept a lot of men eat what they want, drink what they want and do what they want and then fall ill and look to the Wifey Nurse or the Girlfriend Nurse or the Live With Me Nurse to take care of them. I'm just sayin..... :)

And don't go getting mad at me fellas. You know it's the truth and plus men in their 40s and beyond are the ones who fall victim to high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease and all that so I feel Chili wanting a man that she will not have to be a Nurse to.

But does it matter what a person eats when you are looking for love? Do you care if a person exercises and eats right? Do you have any one food in mine that he or she could not eat such as pork? Tell me.

Celibacy Has Its Rewards

2010-04-16T12:16:00.005-04:00

I remember when one of my gfs told me she was celibate.

I looked at her and tried not to let it show on my face what I was thinking. I am an offender of this often. As hard as I tried, I could not conceal my feelings.

My mouf opened. My eyes just about popped outta my head and my expression was "What You Talkin' Bout Willis?"

I could not believe it. She had a boyfriend and a serious boyfriend -- like going to the Chapel soon type of boyfriend -- but they were very active in the church and had made a vow to be celibate. Sooooo they were celibate.

Although I was shocked that there was no hanky panky, I found it admirable. As a matter of fact, I starting rubbing her back because I wanted to feel those angel wings. LOLOLOLOL

But I was curious, curious, curious, ummmm I mean curious, so I asked if they got hot and heavy into kissing was it hard to say wooooooo Nelly, wooooooo Nelly. LOLOLOLOLOL

She said Yes.

I asked do they fool around with fingers and other pieces and parts to get each other there, you know, there.

She said No.

I asked if she could dry hump. LOLOLOL

I can't remember the answer because she was laffin at me soooo hard and I was laffin at myself.

After the giggles ceased, she explained that her commitment to be celibate was about her Christian walk. Period. It was hard but she was willing to be obedient for God's favor.

OK, OK, OK.

But I would be lying if I said I can totally understand that type of discipline especially when a person has someone that he or she is digging.

With that said, I don't think a lot of people make a decision to be celibate. I think it happens because they are either in a drought and cannot find anyone they deem worthy.

What do you think? What do you think causes people to decide to become celibate.

And my gf walked down the aisle a while ago and is really, really happy with her marriage and her action and satisfaction. Holla! LOLOLOLOLOL

Uggg! Guys Should Not Wear Hoop Earrings

2010-04-15T02:04:00.003-04:00

I don't know if hoop earrings for men is a style that is making a resurgence or not but I do NOT like it.

I have seen a few guys lately with hoop earrings. One guy had two hoops. I must admit that when I was younger I had a problem with a man who wore two earrings but then I let go of my old-fashioned ways. And shooooot, I even started liking both ears pierced on men.

I have to say that I like plain earrings...plain diamonds, plain studs. The massive, decorative earrings that sparkle and shine are not the business. You know the ones that have a bunch of little bitty diamonds. Oh my, I hate those earrings on men.

I also do NOT like braids on men but errrr uhh that is another whole topic.

Any who.

A nice diamond, even a CZ (it is a recession), in a man's ear is enough.

A nice watch speaks volumes, volumes ya hear me. Oooooweeee, a nice watch is, to me, a status symbol. Nah, it doesn't have to be a Rolex but it doesn't have to come from the bubble gum machine either. LOLOLOLOLOL

And then one bracelet. I've been seeing tooooooo many guys wearing a lot of bracelets, the strings, the this, the that on their wrists. One bracelet fellas. I have a confession in this department too. I hate to see a woman with bracelets all the way up to their elbows. LOLOLOLOLOL

Less is more to moi.

And chains or necklace. Eight is NOT enough. One is enough. One. Uno. It should be on the thicker, masculine looking side LOLOLOLOLOL

So you know my opinion :) What are your thoughts? And should men wear ankle bracelets? Tell me.

Did You Know The "Man Rules"

2010-04-14T12:21:00.003-04:00

This e-mail is being passed on through cyberspace and it was soooooo funny to me that I could not resist sharing. I also think that men are really this simple. LOLOLOLOL

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear "the rules" From the female side....Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints
do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable
answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.

That's what we do.. Sympathy is what
your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't wantan answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know
men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh.

Emotional Support Is Priceless

2010-04-13T13:53:00.005-04:00

A good man is hard to find, but a good man who is emotionally supportive is even harder to find.

As a divorcee, I often think about what is most important to me and recently I had to pay my ex-husband a compliment. I told him that I appreciated the financial support through the years. Of course, of course I appreciated that :)

He was second to none as a provider. Heck, he may have been better than my very own father....nah, that's going a bit too far but he was great in that department.

He constantly looked out for me and was truly the head of the household. We used to tease about him being the CEO and I was the CEO's assistant because I cooked, cleaned and played the traditional wife role superbly if I must say so myself. :)

Any who.

While financial support is a great thing, I am one of those chickypoos who needs emotional support. Yep, my name is Darlene Jeter and I need emotional support and for those people who have problems with critical thinking that does NOT mean that I don't need financial support LOLOLOLOLOL

Losers, Users and Dead Beats did you her that announcement over the intercom? Listen closely.

"Guys who don't want to step up and take your proper role, exit to the rear and to the left. Thank You."

Any who.

A kind word for me is like hitting the jackpot. And wow, a kind word said when a kind word is really needed to get through a difficult time is jicky, jicky jackpot. I need it...period.

Some people are not good or even fair in the emotional support department. I witnessed this recently when a gf's husband was ill. She carried on and on and on just like usual.

For me, I would have stopped, dropped and rolled because I would expect a person to stop, drop and roll for me. You know the Cardinal Rule -- Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.

But it became clear, really crystal clear, to me that all people do not have the emotional capacity to be emotionally supportive. She certainly didn't that day, but we are going to take a course at the Diggity Institute on Gaining Emotional Capacity. LOLOLOLOL

And what must be stressed is emotional support is not pity. Just say something nice, do something nice when you know a person is going through a difficult patch in life.

Soooooo with that said, the next time your significant other is not feeling well or had a rough day at work, say something danggone nice, go get some ice cream, rub his or her feet and chat, go for a stroll in the park or give a diggity certificate. For goodness sake, show some emotional support.

Do you think you are emotionally supportive? Give an example of when you have been emotionally supportive.

He Wasn't Soooo Cute Without A Hat

2010-04-12T11:47:00.003-04:00

My friends often say you are a fool. And yea, I am soooo with that said I must share a story of when I met a guy.

When I shared the story with my friends everyone was gasping for air and falling on the floor.

OK, OK, OK.

I meet this guy and he is dressed really nice. Nice shoes -- two points. Nice pants -- two points. Nice shirt -- two points. Nice arms -- four points. Yea, I am an arm girl so extra points given for nice arms. I am doing the mathy math and everything seems to be adding up A-OK. He is a nice brown complexion, height is cool, nice eyes and lips, yea, yea, yea but errr uhhhh!

He takes off his hat and good googly mooogly, I thought an alien took over his body. Whatda? Whatda? Whatda?

This dude just starred in the blockbuster, "Wear a Hat and Fool Women Into Believing You Are Good Looking."

He had a receding hairline and I don't like making fun of the shapes of peeps heads but this dude's head was let's just say not round, YIKES!

But not only was he starring in the blockbuster movie, so was I and I was playing the role of the lady who screams at the top of her lungs and runs through the woods but cannot get away. LOLOLOLOL

Any who.

This isn't the only person I've met who has turned out to be an ug-mo without sunglasses or without a hat or in the dark.

Have you ever met someone and thought they were nice looking until dunt-A-don he or she took off a hat or sunglasses? Share your story with me.

Can You Stay Faithful During Sickness?

2010-04-09T13:34:00.003-04:00

I remember my gf telling me a story about one of her friends who was stepping out on her husband. This particular gf's husband had been ill and was unable to perform.

I do not remember for sure the illness but I think it was cancer.

The woman had attempted to remain faithful but found it impossible.

This conversation segways into another topic of cheating when someone's husband is unable to please.

And wouldn't ya know it...another gf chimes in about one of her friends cheating on her husband because he just did not do the do correctamungo for her.

Wowsa Yowsa!

It happens evday but how in the heckypoo do you get married to a person and don't like the diggity? Although I detected and suspected that error DI, lololololo ummmm I mean erectile dysfunction played a role.

Any who.

I don't think peeps who are not married would stick around too long after pieces and parts do not work, but dang your spouse? But I guess peeps have needs soooooo would you expect your significant other to remain faithful if you could no longer perform due to illness or injury? Be honest :)

Do You Have A Timeline In Your Relationship?

2010-04-08T12:50:00.006-04:00

Although life has not taught me everything about love and relationships, it certainly has taught me not to put a timeline on a relationship.

I remember when I was in my 20s and dating the man who ultimately became my ex-husband. I was crazy in love and worshipped the ground he walked on....fo real, fo real.

We had dated for about 5 years and I wanted to be married, period! As one of my friends often says, "It was no longer under investigation." I loved him, he loved me and that was all that was needed or so I thought.

Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's breakup after 5 years took me back to that place of 5 years of dating when I sooooooo wanted to be married. I'm not saying that this caused Jim and Jenny's breakup, but the 5 year mark is more so what got me thinking of my past.

It seemed like Jim and Jenny were happy. But who knows what was really going on behind closed doors?

Any who.

Their decision to split sent me on a self journey. I do that quite often :) So I was thinking about why did I think that at 5 years that the marriage magician should step in and work its wonders. I wondered why it was at 5 years and not 2 years or 1 year or 3 years? What the heck made 5 years the number that made me eagerly want to take the marital plunge?

I kinda came to the conclusion that immaturity and love are an incredible combination. It is what makes people run off and get married. It is what makes people forget about everything in their lives except him or her. It is powerful.

And while my self journey didn't really offer any concrete answers, I still wonder what made me do what I did. Love is crazy but who knows :)

Do you think that there should be a time limit placed on relationships? Should a person know if they want to get married by a certain amount of years?

Does Your Spouse Lie To You About Money?

2010-04-07T10:23:00.003-04:00

Some peeps will believe just about anything! With that said, I was left shaking my head after ear hustling a conversation.

Long story short...a guy believes his wife has not gotten paid after working more than a month. Whadda, whadda, whadda?

Seems to me that somebody takes his head off at night and sets it on the nightstand cause this sounds like madness and only a person without a head could believe this story.

But errr uhhhhh, I think a lot of peeps lie about money soooooooo it is no surprise that money/finances break up a lot of relationships.

Although my mom taught me that a smart woman squirrels away money for a rainy day. As a matter a fact, she had an emergency $50 in her purse when I was a little girl :)

Any who.

I am not sure what makes people lie about money but this big bodacious lie of not getting paid after a month is ridiculous.

Do you lie about money to your significant other? What makes people lie so much about money?

Do Wedding Rings Really Matter?

2010-04-06T16:24:00.000-04:00

I had a very interesting conversation with someone recently about the whole phenomenon of wearing a wedding ring.

It appears that men, at least this is what I have been told, are more attractive to women once they begin wearing a wedding ring.

This made my blood boil a little but I guess hoes, are hoes are hoes...lolol Of course, I am talking about the tool used for gardening.

Any who.

During the conversation, I learned that men do pay attention to the size of the ring and assesses the man. Sorta like women do. You know when a girl first gets engage and everyone says, "He did good girl!" Ususally this means the ring is pretty nice.

When men look at a woman's ring, men who are possibly interested may say, "Nah, I cannot afford that chickypoo."

But the one thing that I found most interesting was how men will assume that a woman is married if she wears a ring that looks like a wedding ring on the left hand, even if it is the middle finger.

This also goes for when a woman wears that same style of ring on the right hand.

Wowsa Yowsa. I was told that if a man gives a woman a quick look and ladies, you know there is stiff competition, lololol -- a ring can cause a lot of confusion.

After the conversation, I pondered a bit. I think a lot of women wear rings to confuse men, but I'm wondering could women be wearing a ring and not understand how it could affect her dating life?

Do you think men take enough time to figure out if the ring is on the ring finger? Do you think women are more attracted to men who wear wedding rings?

Lesbian Lover Upset Over DI

2010-03-30T11:49:00.003-04:00

There has been so much about cheating in the news lately with the revelations of Tiger Woods and Jesse James.

All of the coverage has likely caused problems in many households because of heightened paranoia.

But one of my gf offered a very interesting twist in the cheating phenomenon -- a bisexual and a lesbian relationship.

Hmmmmm

The bisexual chickypoo has from the very beeeeeginning of the relationship said she likes DI. The lesbian in the beeeeeegining agreed to the situation.

Well, well, well.

Seems the lesbian has recently started having a difficult time dealing with the bisexual chickypoo going after DI.

Remember, she agreed to it in the beeeeeginning! Lolololol

I would think a strap-on would eliminate the woes sooooo when I suggest this my gf says oh they have plenty.

Sooooooo, could you date a person knowing that you cannot fulfill their sexual needs from the beeeeeeginning? Could you date someone who is bisexual? And do you think bisexual sex is cheating?

No Hubby But I'll Take A Baby

2010-03-29T16:25:00.002-04:00

The whole cougar craze may have more to do with women seeking good sperm than most peeps think. Unlike eggs, sperm does not have a shelf life but younger is better.

With that said, I have to share a recent conversation about having a baby. I am divorced but do not have any kids. I have not lost faith in the institution of marriage, but I am just about certain that my picture of happily ever after will look nothing like I ever imagined.

Any who.

I had a conversation with a young man who thought he was hot stuff, finger to cheek, pssssst, because older women were checking him out. Honestly, I would go younger any day of the week lolololol. But errrr uhhh, younger guys might wanna be cautious condom carriers cause older women may just want their sperm.

I was sharing the cougar conversation with a gf who said women will do anything to have a baby after 35!

An official cougar FYI is 40.

My eyes get real big and I make a dash to get my birth certificate lolololo yesssir I am over 35 but I am not one of those women who will do whateva, entrapment, slipping condoms off, lying about birth control and whatever else women do.
Oh my! I would never be able to look at a human being the rest of my life and know that I was sooooo manipulative and calculated.

Do you think women do this? Do they give up on a hubby and say I just want a baby?

Yep, Sex OK On First Date!

2010-03-26T11:09:00.003-04:00

I remember a guy telling me that he did not have any problems with a woman having sex on the first date.

Hmmmm. But could he get serious with a woman who drops her drawers soooooo expeditiously lolololo

His answer was yes, he could. Soooooo when I read an article on thefrisky.com about five reasons to have sex on the first date, I thought of the conversation.

One reason is in the words of Fat Albert, Hey, hey, hey! lololo

No, seriously, one reason is to seize the moment.

Another reason is to weed out the sexists. Remember, what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

Another is women like diggity too so why not.

So if a condom is worn, is it really OK to get bizzzy on the first date? Does this mean there may be a pattern of first date romps?

Dating With A 3-Month Old

2010-03-25T14:15:00.002-04:00

If you met someone who has a baby, as in a younger than year old, would you be interested in some sort of relstionship.

Hmmmmm maybe a bootie call some peeps may think.

I am going to have to go out on a limb and say I could not possibly get involved with someone with a very young child.

I would think I was standing in line for a long baby mama drama ride with many twists and turns and ups and downs.

And you may say there may not be any drama, well ummmmmmm I do not have time to waste on this dating scenerio. It is sorta like dating a homeless man....yea he would eventually get himself together but do I want to waste a year waiting lolololol

I probably would consider if the man was married. Scratch that! A man who leaves his lil bitty baby, whew, may be inconsiderate and insensitive ooooooweee heck he is prolly mean.

Soooo would you date someone with a very young child?

My Arms Have To Be Missing To Open Car Door

2010-03-24T16:51:00.004-04:00

I believe a man should open the car door for a woman. Yea, I am likely in the minority but I really feel this is necessary.

Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and see an old soul. I am really old fashioned.

But a recent conversation with a man who is about my age made me soooooo sad. He said he is not opening the door for a woman as long as she has arms!

Yea, go ahead and laff. It is funny but at the same time it is very sad. But then thr response from the ladies just about made me cry. Most women in the room said as long as the guy pays for dinner, he would be good!

I hung my head and said, 'Yep, chilvary is dead."

Do you think it is dead?

3-Month Relationship Checkup

2010-03-23T10:52:00.003-04:00

I had an interesting conversation with a guy about renting, leasing and buying as it relates to relationships.

His argument is that usually a guy goes into a relationship understanding which one he is doing. Hmmmm

He said that a women may not be able to initially distiguish exactly what type of purchase has been made but after three months it will become more apparent.

A rent, he said, is usually treated rough. In this type of relationship, the man has no interest in keeping the girl around for long.

With a lease, the guy is OK with the current situation but has no intention of buying. He said that a lot of women get caught up in this type of relationship and never end up married.

In the buy, the man has every intention on making the girl his and goes out of his way to let her know that he sees a future with her. With this, however, he said it is important to watch the man's actions and not only go by what he is saying.

In all three kinds, he said a three-month relationship checkup is necessary to try to figure out if both people see the relationship the same. At three months, the type of relationship forming should be clear.

Do you have a good idea of where a relationship is going at three months? How long?

Why Do Guys Like Trashy Girls?

2010-03-22T10:29:00.002-04:00

If you have been following entertainment news, you know that the latest news is Tiger and Jesse have been caught jibbin and jabbin with trashy girls.

For Tiger, it was like he was trying to get into the Guiness Book of Records for doing trashy, trashy, trashy women. And I know I am being very judgemental but how the heckypoo can you sleep with a porn star and not be scared for your life. I may be in the minority here but thinking about a man being with tons and tons of women is a definite turnoff and heck if I could watch a DVD of his action, wowsa yowsa, I would run for the hilly hills lololololol

Any who.

I read an article on Ask Men that explained why men are attracted to trashy women. Boi, did it open my mind to stuff.

One reason is the trashy girls do not need much effort to get. The article said trashy girls do not need drinks and dinner, etc to bed. It takes much less. Well, it just takes a man showing interest.

And this lrads into the other reason. Trashy girls usually have a need to please because they do not usually feel good about who they are. Heck, do not get mad at me I am just summarizing what I read.

But if one is to go along with these arguments, it would mean beautiful, strong, successful women are not interested in pleasing....hmmmm

Why do you think men go after trashy women?

Wicked Head Game Needed

2010-03-19T09:38:00.002-04:00

I had the most interesting conversation with a fellow divorcee about maintaining a relationship.

The conversation started with guys getting turned out by strippers and essentially two kinds of peeps from two different backgrounds ending up in a relationship.

His answer was a "wicked head game."

I got quiet as a mouse because I was very interested in this argument of maintaining a relationship.

He continued, "Yes, she has to do something that will make him think about her all day."

Hmmmmmm

I kept listening.

"Women get off on taking a woman's man. It is like a competition and plus it is like 5 to 1 out here."

There may be a morsel of truth to what he is saying, so I do not dismiss him immediately. Plus, I love to hear peeps state a case. They actually reveal a lot about his or her own inner workings. : )

But is a wicked head game the only thing, THE only thing that is needed! So in essence all peeps who are in a successful relationship or marriage, meaning there is no cheating, there is a wicked head game! Wow!

And yea wicked head game is fellatio.

What do you think?

Forget Grocery Store, Meet Men At Laundromat

2010-03-18T11:23:00.003-04:00

I had put off washing a comforter until finally my procrastinating got on my nerves. Soooo I grabbed my detergent and fabric softener and headed to the laundromat.

My first observation, cause I am that type of girl, was that a trip to the laundromat is pricey! It is like $2.50 a load! Soooo if I ever get another business, it will be a laundromat. After buying equipment and paying rent, the business practically runs itself. I could not help but think that peeps should buy a used washer or dryer and avoid the mat lololol, yea the mat, altogether.

Any who.

I put $5.50 in this double duty baby and my comforter was on its way to being Gain fresh. : )

But then while I am waiting, I am thinking. There is always a party in my mind. Thoughts are break dancin' and tickin' and wavin' lololol

Sooooo my mind goes to meeting someone in the laundromat...is it yucky or goody?

At first, I think nah not at the danggone laundromat but then I think YES, YES, YES!

Ummm because if he does not have someone washing his clothes, he just may be available. Lolololo

Then I imagine a stampede of women in bootie shorts and tight dresses invading the Mat lololol

Sooo is the laundromat an OK place to meet somebody? What do you think?

Fellas, Lies Should Not Be Bodacious

2010-03-17T10:31:00.004-04:00

I hate a liar. Really, I hate a liar.

When a person lies, trust runs to the balcony and jumps from the 12th floor. Lololol

But seriously, I have learned that it is not even necessary to look a liar in the eyes. Just clean the wax out of your ears and listen intently. Usually, a liar does not think things through, reasoning is at an all time low and being rational has left the scene of the crime.

This has happen to me on several occasions. And fellas, let me just say the bigger and elaborate the lie the less likely she is to believe you.

I heard one of the biggest, bodacious lies of all time.

A guy goes out with a girl. He says he left his wallet in the car. He leaves cause he needs cash and gets pulled over and arrested. Several hours later, he calls the chickypoo and explains the aforementioned scenario. Get the fudge outta here!

Big and bodacious and unbelievable.

What do you surmise happened?

Umm, he likely saw another chickypoo with whom he was involved and vacated the premises lolololol

But what is even crazier is sometimes women go for these big A lies! Why? For many reasons, but I honestly believe that women know when they know when they know :)

But why do peeps lie so elaborately? And what is the most bodacious story you have fallen for?

Dating Someone Hot Makes You Hot

2010-03-16T11:34:00.000-04:00

I read about a recent survey that found when a man or woman dates someone more attractive than him or herself that person becomes more desirable to others.

Well ahrighty then!

I do not want to slam any celebrity couples but a few come to mind. Pretty girl, well beeeaauuuuuutiful girl, with an OK looking dude. Sorry, cannot think of many stunning, drop-dead gorgeous men with ugg mo women.

Any who.

The survey caused me to pause. And then after thinking about it I started wondering why would this happen?

I think it has something to do with our innate ability to survive...survival of the fitess on the relationship front. So a guy we never thought was even near Handsome Drive looks a little better to women or at least worth checking out if he has a pretty girl.

I had a guy tell me that once a man is seen with a woman other women start clamoring, saying I am going to take him away from her!

But why is this? Do women find men more attractive when he has someone - married or in a relationship? And does it matter if she is cute?

He Stole My Flask!

2010-03-15T10:48:00.006-04:00

I should know better and even when I share the crazy stories with my dad he comes close to calling his baby daughter a fool.

Any who.

I have gotten myself into a disastrous mess, yes, a mess!

I used to think dating was fun until I stumbled upon some of the craziest, of craziest behavior in not just one but a few men.

I seriously think I had a stalker fo real fo real but what I really got on my mind today is losers.

There are a lot of peeps looking to marry up and heck date up! Be very cautious of peeps looking to get over in whatever way they can.

I have done a very poor job at screening potentials. I missed the I am an opportunist signs. Yes, my name is Darlene and I need my assola whooped. Lolololo

I dated a guy who borrowed a monogrammed flask from me. Key word is borrowed. Heck, I should have thought ummm you don't have one so ummm you cannot borrow mine. But nah, Ms. Flaskless had to be nice.

It is a one of a kind leather-covered case with two shot glasses on top. Oh, it is nice very nice. But guess what? I loaned it and I lost it! Nah, he stole it.

This guy refuses to return MY flask. What a freakin looooooser!

But really, I am the one who lost a very nice flask.

Have you ever borrowed something from someone you have dated and refused to return the item or had this done to you?

Some Professions Are Known Cheaters

2010-03-12T11:36:00.002-05:00

If you are married or thinking about getting married, you may want to consier your spouse's or soon-to-be spouse's occupation to determine if he or she is more likely to jump in the sack with someone else.

An Ashley Madison survey found that some professions are more likely to cheat, and let's not forget that Ashley Madison is an expert in the topic. Ashley Madison is the Web site that caters to married peeps who want to have affairs.

Soooo, who is on the list of a survey of 1.9 million people.

Well, well, well, real estate agents for both men and women top the list. I guess going in and out of other peeps homes gives one the desire to ummmm try out a few of the beds or bedrooms. Or maybe meeting soooo many people. I dunno.

But then teachers, stay-at-home moms, nurses and administrative assistants make the list for women.

Teachers! Whew! But there has been a lot of reports of teachers sexing students lately so I wonder does that count? LOLOLOL

And stay-at-home-moms, I see that all day evday. They are bored out of their minds. There is only sooooo much goo gooo gaaa gaaa a person can do before they want some adult conversation. Hey big boi, how you doing to the mailman, to the newspaper carrier, to the truck driver delivering the furniture, anybody who will listen.

Nurses! Well, I've heard some good stories about affairs and getting caught and all that shiggidy in hospitals soooo I see that.

Administrative assistants, heck yea, they are trying to climb or ummm sleep their way up the career ladder LOLOLOLOL

But then for the guys, there is a physician. OK, back to the craziness that goes on in hospital in closets and empty beds and elevators and parking lots and all that.

Police officers are on the list, and I'm not shocked. Uniform and women are suckas for men in uniforms sooooo... and they have some power and handcuffs. Cheaters fo sho!

Lawyers made the list. I guess power and they do have to have a mean convincing-game to win cases so they can likely talk a woman's panties off before she even knows it. LOLOLOLOL

But then there is the engineers. Wowsa Yowsa Wowsa. Ummmm, oooooowwwwweeee. The only thing I can say is it is the intelligence factor. Women like men that are smart, ooooh I mean, Darlene likes men who are smart. Talk about sexaaaaay!

Sooooo do you think a person's occupation has anything to do with their likelihood to cheat? Tell me.

You Have How Many Baby Daddys, Mamas?

2010-03-11T08:08:00.003-05:00

It is a new day.

Gone are the days when the majority of people get married and have kids. Often, one child may be born before a marriage and then mom and dad go on to marry someone else.

Sooo if you are doing the math, there is already one baby's mama or daddy if you are the guy or girl.

Oooook, add the marriage or an unplanned goo gooo ga ga and there are like 2 or 3 chillins, yep, children with a southern accent and different mamas and daddys.

I am unique. I have no chillins so if a person says they have two kids, my mind automatically thinks one mother. This way of thinking is soooooo yesterday, a bit sad but nevertheless sooooo yesterday.

So one has to ask by the same person?

But errr uhhhh, how many baby mamas and daddys are too many? Meaning would you date someone who has kids by how many people, one, two, three or so folks or do you care?

Tell me.

Would You Consider A Fixer Up?

2010-03-10T12:02:00.002-05:00

You have likely seen it happen. A guy or girl meets someone, fixes that person up, sometimes even making the person unrecognizable.

Well I had the most interesting conversation with a gf on this topic. We were laffin bout being married (although I am divorced) and waiting on a man to grow up.

But then I started cracking jokes saying I am going to go get me a guy with crooked teefus and plaid flooded pants. We holler in laughter about it and then she says if you find him that way you better leave him that way.

Our laughter continues until tears are rolling down my face and my stomach is hurting.

But then the seriousness of the topic hits. Peeps really do date fixer ups and the fixer ups get real foxy and roll out...with a new grill, nice car, graduate degrees and more.

Soooo would you consider dating a person deficient in a particular area but help them to be better or do you expect a person to come to the table at their best?

Is It ADHD If Mate Doesn't Pay Attention?

2010-03-09T10:33:00.003-05:00

There are many things that can plague a relationship - family members, finances, infidelity, illnesses and on and on.

But recently while watching TV, yea I watch waaaay too much TV, I saw a commercial.

It talked about people who are disorganized and who have a hard time paying attention just may have an illness. I am sorry but there is too much labeling going on. If someone is disorganized, they are junky! If a person has a hard time paying attention, they lack discipline.

What is this world coming to when every little thing is something that needs medication or an action guide? Whatever happened to just calling a Spade a Spade! Everybody is using excuses.

Soooo as I look around my bedroom that has laundry that needs to be folded, I am thinking that maybe just maybe I need to go to the web site adhdactionguide.com lolololol

Nah, I just need to fold up these dayuuum clothes. Lolololo

Would you believe someone who has a junky home or a hard time paying attention has ADHD? How would you handle? Or could it really be a serious problem?

Man, You Wear A Girdle!

2010-03-08T11:37:00.003-05:00

There are all kinds of undergarments for women to lift this and tuck this and flatten this.

I love a good bra but I refuse to wear high wasted panties, biker short girdles and too tight slips nope, aaaannnntttt, not gonna do it.

I arrived at this decision after buying a biker short spanx girdle when I was the Pillsbury Dough girl lololol

Yep, I was tryin to smooth out some bumps and lumps but the only thing that tight contraption did was make me uncomfortable. I felt like a sausage link that was going to explode at any moment.

I will never forget the day I put on my girdle for the last time. I had on a wrap dress and it was about 80 degrees out. The dress was soooo cute but I had a kangaroo pouch in the front lololol so I reached for my squeeze me tight biker short style girdle and pulled and tugged until the midsection of my body was smothered and suffocating. I then glanced in the mirror and said the heck with this! My stomach is just as fat, and I am uncomfy as heckypoo soooo fuuuuuhget it. I slipped the hold me tight girdle off and decided I had to do something about it.

But errr uhhh, the other day I was watching the news and I heard a story about girdles becoming really popular among men. I bout fell out my chair just thinking about it.

Picture this...very nice evening with a man who tells you across the dinner table that he wears a girdle. I would holler in laughter and speedwalk away lololol

Yea, I am terrible but there is no way I could date a guy who wears a girdle. Ladies, could you? Fellas, would you wear one?

Making Sexually Suggestive Tape Is A Mistake

2010-03-05T12:10:00.004-05:00

I looked down at my phone and saw a message from someone I was dating.

"I should just post that video of you for saying that!"

I thought my heart jumped out my chest. But it actually fell into my tummy. And I'm no nurse or doctor but my heart rate quadrupled.

Yea, we had been engaged in a difference of opinions. It really wasn't an argument because there was no yelling. Remember, we were texting. I was trying to make a point about the way he responds to situation, but when I looked at my phone and saw that text, I was OUT DONE! I couldn't believe that he actually sent that message to me. Heck, I couldn't believe that he actually thought about humiliating me.

I've blogged about sexting and sending nude photos. And most peeps agree that sending a nude photo with your head cut off is OK. And nope I didn't think anything was really wrong with it, either. Honestly, I found it a bit titilating, fun and exciting. And I would really be doing a disservice if I left out that it is foreplay. And heck that has to be the most exciting part about sending a sexually suggestive text, photo or video, but errr uhhh I have changed my mind.

Recently, I found myself threatened and humiliated about a video that I made. Nah, that I starred in. LOLOLOLOL, yea, I'm laffin to keep from cryin... But seriously, I want others to learn from my mistake.

I had gone to a gentleman's club on a Saturday night after an evening on the town having fun, big fun.

After one girl finishes her routine, I turn to the guy and say, "I'm going to dance like that for you when we get home." And I did. And he videotaped it.

At the time, I wasn't thinking that maybe he would threaten to show it off on Facebook one day. I'm not famous. You can't make any money off of it, sooooo what would be the point of showing anyone else the video? I thought he just wanted it for himself.

He hasn't put the video online yet, but ladies and yes, gentleman, it was a very scary feeling. I've been through some shiggidy with mean things being said before but I have never had something give me this feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was a humiliating feeling to have someone threaten to reveal to the world something that I did in the privacy of my own home.

Sooooo ladies and ummm gents too, you may think that the person you are sending photos and videos to will never share it with anyone. I did too, but he not only threatened once but two times to do it soooooo one never really knows what another is capable of doing. And yea, I'm mad at him, but I'm made at myself more.

I love Sanford and Son, love it, and everytime I think about what I have done, I say, "Youuuuu biiiiig dummmmmy!"

Have you ever made a sex tape or sexually suggestive tape and had someone threaten to post it online or share with others? What would make a person do that? Tell me.

Sex Commercials Bombard Late Night

2010-02-05T09:24:00.002-05:00

I have found myself lying awake on a few recent nights. Carmen Electra has put her snout on the edge of my bed to let me know she had some business to take care of and after getting up I haven't been able to doze back off to sleep.

There is one other reason but I will blog about that next week :)

Any who.

After I check facebook, e-mails, news and gossip sites, I put my faith in the TV to rock me back to sleep. Typically, Carm will wake me up at some awful hour when there is absolutely nuttin on TV. I used to pop in my DVD of "The Diary of a Mad Black Woman" or any other movie I could put my hands on but errrr ummmm recently I've been just looking at whatever is on.

Flip, flip, flip and usually I come up with nuttin, nope, nuttin is on in the wee hours of the morning. Somebody, anybody needs to consider a cable station for peeps who cannot sleep - fo real, fo real!

I say this because early morning, or late night depending on how anal about the time of day you are, TV is all infomercials about chat lines showing off ladies' lips and boobs. What da heckypoo? Dat shiggidy is for men. What about the women who can't sleep? I do not want to see or hear Ms. 36 DD talk in a whisper tone in an effort to entice me to call!!!!! I'm not calling.

And then there are the fitness commercials. What is with this? Do you actually get motivated to start a workout plan at 4 in the morning? Ummmmm NO! At least I didn't. It is not like peeps are gonna jump outta bed and do some jumping jacks.

But after flipping and flipping, one night I found some really good stuff. It was a shopping station for sex toys and all dat stuff lololololo

Now this is good TV as I listen to what these thingamajigs claim to do. Heck, I think one toy had a feature to pour a glass of wine and rub feet lolololol Nah, I'm just kidding but the toys were quite interesting.

But although I frown at Ms.36 DD and her fire red lipstick, I bet those chickypoos rake in the cashola at those hours. And I even think the dating sites prolly get a lot of folks logging on during the veil of the night, but I see you, I seeeeee you.

But this brings me to a question. Have you ever called one of those sex lines, dating lines during the early morning hours? Looked at porn online or even purchased one of those amazing toys that rub your feet? lololololo

What Is A Good Catch?

2010-02-04T12:14:00.003-05:00

I did a little bit of reading to try to figure out what do people mean when they say a person is a good catch.

I've been told this before and some of the attributes to follow include fun, smart, pretty, independent, confident, exciting and caring. But is a good catch those things or a combination of things?

The sites I found from a female's perspective included attributes such as gainfully employed, educated, handsome and ummm just like pretty, handsome is subjective. Lololol

Any who.

Some of the other attributes include integrity, honesty, trustworthiness and the one I find most attractive - a man who puts God first.

One site said it is important to have a man or a woman who can communicate well. So all quick tempy tempers work on dat pardner lolololol

But what really makes a person a good catch? Tell me.

'I Don't Want To Sleep Alone'

2010-02-03T12:29:00.004-05:00

I have heard many people say they don't like sleeping alone. When I hear it, it immediately makes me think about my feelings on the topic and ummmm I'm not like that.

I don't mind sleeping alone especially if I would have to sleep with just any ole body. As a matter of fact, I have discovered that I don't even feel comfy with evbody. Well I guess I should say there are different levels of comfortability. I really don't want to cuddle and spoon with just any guy, soooooo that is why when I hear peeps say this I'm bewildered, confused and perplexed.

But maybe the whole idea of not wanting to sleep alone breathes life into the whole mantra, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you with."

Any who.

At night is when I reflect on my day and pray when I'm alone. Lately, life has provided a few bumps in the road, I'm job hunting, a dear friend has died. So for me being alone at night gives me a chance to recalibrate, reset and of course pray. But I'm thinking it may give peeps a chance to be alone with their thoughts and maybe that is why they don't want to be alone.

Heck, I dunno. But isn't sleeping - not necessarily having sex - with anyone available sad? Or am I not understanding the human condition and the need to have someone lying next to a person to ward off feelings of loneliness?

Tell me.